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Can’t meet men. How is possible to have luck this bad?


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Posted
You've seen the singles map. You need to move West of the Mississippi.

 

The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

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Posted
Iris, are you willing to date people a bit further away?

 

I would be willing to date someone further away, yes. If I met someone and they lived somewhere else, I would try it.

 

I can't, however, get excited about driving 2 or more hours to meet a stranger from the internet when chances are it's not going to be a match.

Posted
I CANNOT meet single men. I’ve met two this year. It’s like when I walk into a room, all the single men over 30 walk out the back door. I am not exaggerating when I say I don’t even SEE single men from a distance. I’m not even saying I don’t meet suitable men; I’m saying I don’t meet ANY men at all.

 

I am out and about a lot. There are no single men at the coffee shop, at the gym, when I’m out with friends at night. There are none where I work (well, there’s one recently divorced older man who I tried to date last year, but it didn’t work out. He wasn’t over his ex and we didn’t have a connection anyway.). I don’t see them at the grocery store. I have friends who play on a co-ed sports team so sometimes I go to watch them play: no single men there either. None of my friends or coworkers know any single men, though they know lots of single women. I recently attended a wedding in a different sate. There wasn’t one single man (though this is common for weddings in the South. People rarely show up alone, though there were a couple single women). I’ve been to concerts and art events and still nothing.

 

At first I thought it was the town where I live, but I’ve been to three major cities and a couple smaller towns this year and it’s the same thing. (In one of the major cities I saw a man my age who wasn’t with a woman a few hours before I was flying home. That has been one of the most exciting “encounters” with a man this year.) How is possible to go to a city of over a million and not meet a single man? I wonder if the 30 somethings are home raising children because they sure don’t seem to leave the house.

 

I notice men on here talking about approaching a certain number of women a week, and I’m always shocked. So these guys seriously see numerous single women they’re interested in on a daily basis? I am SO jealous. I couldn’t approach a man if I wanted to because there aren’t any to approach.

 

How is it possible that I don’t run into any single men at all? What can I do?

 

I feel cursed. I'm starting to believe that I just have bad luck and the universe doesn't want me to meet anyone. :mad:

 

you wanna man so bad because you feel your bio clock is ticking, no? I'm not sympathizing with you because your standing in your own way. I meet women like you all the time but when I give them suggestions on where to meet single and available men, they conjure up every excuse in the book. either you start making moves like some posters have said or deal with it.

Posted
you wanna man so bad because you feel your bio clock is ticking, no? I'm not sympathizing with you because your standing in your own way. I meet women like you all the time but when I give them suggestions on where to meet single and available men, they conjure up every excuse in the book. either you start making moves like some posters have said or deal with it.

 

But she would need people to make moves ON in order for that to work. The point of the thread is that single men don't exist in her city. So, are you encouraging her to make a move on a married/taken man?...

 

And what if you make a move, and still nothing happens? On the occasion I meet a single guy, I am the one who makes a move, which never results in a happy relationship. So what then?

Posted
But she would need people to make moves ON in order for that to work. The point of the thread is that single men don't exist in her city. So, are you encouraging her to make a move on a married/taken man?...

 

And what if you make a move, and still nothing happens? On the occasion I meet a single guy, I am the one who makes a move, which never results in a happy relationship. So what then?

 

no offense but the thread isn't about you. the op may need to move north for some better luck and make some moves there. I'm in NYC and there are a vast number of single men of all races. is the op open to that suggestion? I will wait and see if she replies.

Posted
no offense but the thread isn't about you. the op may need to move north for some better luck and make some moves there. I'm in NYC and there are a vast number of single men of all races. is the op open to that suggestion? I will wait and see if she replies.

 

I said it earlier, but I don't really dig people encouraging the OP to marry. Those singles map are not reliable, and personal antidotes(like "well I'm in NYC and see a ton of single men"... which is the direct opposite of what the single maps say) aren't provable.

 

The only moving suggestion that makes sense is maybe to a big city, or trying long distance dating.

  • Author
Posted
But she would need people to make moves ON in order for that to work. The point of the thread is that single men don't exist in her city. So, are you encouraging her to make a move on a married/taken man?...

 

This ^^. I would make a move if there was someone to make a move on.

 

And I'm not moving up North! That sounds awful. It's the last place in the US I'd want to live. I'm not moving period. I just got a promotion. I love my job, I love my friends, I love my house, I love what my city has to offer. Why would I give all this up when there's no guarantee I'd meet a man anywhere else?

Posted (edited)
The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

 

Ha ha.

 

that pretty much described my whole work/college life.

 

Anyway, having lived both in the South and in the NE, I can say they are pretty damned odd here too.

 

At least there is more to pick from there. That would be a start.

 

On a more positive note, one of my good friends is spending the summer in Italy with her husband. One of their cute Italian friends caught a glimpse of my picture on Facebook (me on the motorcycle I demo'd at Americade) and he wants to come visit. ;)

 

Iris,

 

Seriously. Sounds like me and you are in similar boats, but I don't want kids. Not sure what to tell you.

 

Take ballet? Join a running club? Ever since I started taking ballet years ago, I've never had problems with random men approaching me. Even the 25 year old man in my class is flirting with me these days.

 

Running, ultimate frisbee... all man magnets.

 

Another option... professional organizations... Seminars at local colleges...

Edited by RedRobin
Posted
I notice men on here talking about approaching a certain number of women a week, and I’m always shocked. So these guys seriously see numerous single women they’re interested in on a daily basis? I am SO jealous. I couldn’t approach a man if I wanted to because there aren’t any to approach.

 

I find that difficult to believe.

 

Decide what you like, find some Meetup groups, and attend them. If you don't like them, there are always more.

 

If you do find some men, I seriously doubt you'll get arrested for approaching them.

 

Ha ha.

Running, ultimate frisbee... all man magnets.

 

Don't forget ham radio clubs... 95% men.

Posted

I am truly stunned.

 

 

Your better looking than me, I do not live in a large town, but I have no trouble finding single men to check me out.

 

Sheesh.

 

 

I believe what your saying to be true.

 

I honestly think iti s just luck. Being in a place with single men, which you clearly aren't.

 

The statistics for married and unmarried does not take into account how homogeneous the situation is spread - there is a huge clump missing in your area, where as in NYC there is probably a lot of single young men and women your age.

 

.............here is a possible sollution!!!!!!!!!!!!

^^^ why not save up and go on a trip to NYC! With these great friends you talk about, surely one of them would like a girls trip with you?

Go out every night, and if your attractive as you say, and are open and not off putting, some guys will approach you.

 

It is not going to change where you live. Your attractive and it never changes there for you. So - the only sollution is to explore and holiday in other parts of the USA. Preferable areas where this is not the problem!

There is nothing your doing wrong! AT least some guys wil show interest in an attractive girl. If their not, your personality is lacking, you come across bad, or well.. your not attractive!

If your attractive, you sure sound pleasant and nice enough for DECENT guys to like you:)

Posted
This ^^. I would make a move if there was someone to make a move on.

 

And I'm not moving up North! That sounds awful. It's the last place in the US I'd want to live. I'm not moving period. I just got a promotion. I love my job, I love my friends, I love my house, I love what my city has to offer. Why would I give all this up when there's no guarantee I'd meet a man anywhere else?

 

You are such a whiner! You dont want to do this and you don't want to do that, but yet you complain about this and that, and don't want to try to change anything to improve your situation in finding a mate.

 

I'm convinced that you're just a troll, because where I come from there's no women saying anything remotely similar to what you're throwing at us. Sure, they may say they're not meeting the guys they want to date, but never the silly drivel of not seeing any single men at all! Next thread!

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Posted
This ^^. I would make a move if there was someone to make a move on.

 

And I'm not moving up North! That sounds awful. It's the last place in the US I'd want to live. I'm not moving period. I just got a promotion. I love my job, I love my friends, I love my house, I love what my city has to offer. Why would I give all this up when there's no guarantee I'd meet a man anywhere else?

 

There will never be a guarantee to anything in life. All you have to do is try. You try, you open doors of possibilities. You don't try, no doors of possibilities would even appear.

 

You don't even have to give up anything. Just try something else besides what you already have tried.

Posted
I CANNOT meet single men. I’ve met two this year. It’s like when I walk into a room, all the single men over 30 walk out the back door. I am not exaggerating when I say I don’t even SEE single men from a distance. I’m not even saying I don’t meet suitable men; I’m saying I don’t meet ANY men at all.

 

I am out and about a lot. There are no single men at the coffee shop, at the gym, when I’m out with friends at night. There are none where I work (well, there’s one recently divorced older man who I tried to date last year, but it didn’t work out. He wasn’t over his ex and we didn’t have a connection anyway.). I don’t see them at the grocery store. I have friends who play on a co-ed sports team so sometimes I go to watch them play: no single men there either. None of my friends or coworkers know any single men, though they know lots of single women. I recently attended a wedding in a different sate. There wasn’t one single man (though this is common for weddings in the South. People rarely show up alone, though there were a couple single women). I’ve been to concerts and art events and still nothing.

 

At first I thought it was the town where I live, but I’ve been to three major cities and a couple smaller towns this year and it’s the same thing. (In one of the major cities I saw a man my age who wasn’t with a woman a few hours before I was flying home. That has been one of the most exciting “encounters” with a man this year.) How is possible to go to a city of over a million and not meet a single man? I wonder if the 30 somethings are home raising children because they sure don’t seem to leave the house.

 

I notice men on here talking about approaching a certain number of women a week, and I’m always shocked. So these guys seriously see numerous single women they’re interested in on a daily basis? I am SO jealous. I couldn’t approach a man if I wanted to because there aren’t any to approach.

 

How is it possible that I don’t run into any single men at all? What can I do?

 

I feel cursed. I'm starting to believe that I just have bad luck and the universe doesn't want me to meet anyone. :mad:

 

In part, you are correct. Myself personally, I am at home with my kid, but I am the exception and not the rule. I lived in a small town in North Georgia, and had the same problem you are having(except no available women), but people in those towns get married early, and I wasn't from there.

Outside of rural Georgia, women can usually pick and choose. Men like myself, (I am 38, and divorced with full custody of a 7 year old girl), we don't get a second look, unless we are wealthy, because we have obligations to raise a child, and aren't as available for spur of the moment trips and such.

My suggestion to you; MOVE Come to Florida, shoot me an e-mail, I always wanted another child, and I'm only 38! :-)

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