Can’t meet men. How is possible to have luck this bad?

[jobaba]

Oh come on. When SD said he needs a woman who isn't too fat or above 30 or below a C-cup or with short hair, this was not what you said to him... Nor was it what you said to countless other male posters.

 

 

No. He's a whiner too. And he's the worst one.

 

2nd, you're trying to bait me. You can see I posted hastily, thought it was bad taste and thus erased it. But you brought it back.

 

I still love you Els.

 

Anyway, my whining days are over. Let me know if I ever regress.

 

Good luck Iris...

[Els]

No. He's a whiner too. And he's the worst one.

 

2nd, you're trying to bait me. You can see I posted hastily, thought it was bad taste and thus erased it. But you brought it back.

 

I still love you Els.

 

Anyway, my whining days are over. Let me know if I ever regress.

 

Good luck Iris...

 

Eh, sorry, did not see you take it back. If you did, well, s'all good.

[Els]

theres no hyproscrisy. gee. whats with you?

 

So, you'd date an obese 50-year-old woman?

[seachangeoflove]

and if they suffer a bad rejection rather than brush it off their skin is so thin that they quit doing it. if she was truly desperate she wouldn't care if he was from alabama or new york city.

 

 

but that's what makes us women. You want a tough brute with a thick skin? ? uh huh didn't think so.

[jobaba]

Also, NONE of the guys here can truly not get a date. NOT ONE. I agree that in the OP's case it isn't so either, but you're painting the men as having no requirements at all and the OP as having unreasonable ones, and that simply isn't true. Have you even tried asking the guys if they'd date an obese woman or a 50-year-old woman? I have. Their responses were the same as the OP, bar none. Stop imagining that all men are benevolent beings whose only requirement is that the person is human and female - some of them may SAY so, but only because they don't even THINK of anyone outside their requirements as being part of that subset, and when you ask more specific questions you tend to get to the root of it.

 

TL;DR: Stop sympathizing with one and vilifying the other. It's incredibly annoying and hypocritical.

 

You know what?

 

You are right.

 

I just don't care anymore what women want and what men want.

 

I slowly am starting to not care that a 4'11" Asian woman wants a 6 foot white man with blue eyes and 9% body fat.

 

And if that woman starts whining about not being able to find decent men despite having those requirements, I don't care either. I have to learn not to care.

 

That might be 99% of women AND men out there. But that's ok. I'll find the 1%.

 

I apologize for thread-jacking OP. Carry on.

Edited June 26, 2012 by jobaba

[iris219]

You know what?

 

You are right.

 

I just don't care anymore what women want and what men want.

 

I slowly am starting to not care that a 4'11" Asian woman wants a 6 foot white man with blue eyes and 9% body fat.

 

And if that woman starts whining about not being able to find decent men despite having those requirements, I don't care either. I have to learn not to care.

 

I apologize for thread-jacking OP. Carry on.

 

Are you insinuating that my standards are too high or unrealistic? Since when does "not too short and not too fat" equal 6 foot tall with a six pack?

 

I feel like you're projecting your frustration with women in your life onto me.

[Els]

iris stated she won't date a short man or a fat man. in this very thread. no i wouldn't date a 50 year old cause there would be too big an age gap. overweight i would but not morbidly obese.

 

So why are your requirements okay but hers not?

 

You know what?

 

You are right.

 

I just don't care anymore what women want and what men want.

 

I slowly am starting to not care that a 4'11" Asian woman wants a 6 foot white man with blue eyes and 9% body fat.

 

And if that woman starts whining about not being able to find decent men despite having those requirements, I don't care either. I have to learn not to care.

 

That might be 99% of women AND men out there. But that's ok. I'll find the 1%.

 

I apologize for thread-jacking OP. Carry on.

 

The bolded is a great attitude to have. Kudos on you for reaching that state of mind again. It'll pay off in time, I promise you.

[seachangeoflove]

but but you want eqality. women want eqality but just when they benefit. can't have it both was. given how thin skinned some of todays women are i'll take the thick skin. who wants a woman to scream every time everything isn't ideal for her. no thank you. women who say theres no men aren't even trying to get them. its a cop out.

 

 

ok, so you're , so I can stop shaving my legs and waxing my eyebrows then? COOOLLLL!!!!

 

 

Or you mean you want a thick skin and toughness but still have feminine qualities in appearance. Ok, I see now.

[jobaba]

Are you insinuating that my standards are too high or unrealistic? Since when does "not too short and not too fat" equal 6 foot tall with a six pack?

 

I feel like you're projecting your frustration with women in your life onto me.

 

No.

 

Youre welcome to have your requirements whatever they may be.

 

Good luck.

[Els]

gee. how many women have changed what i've said and what other men have said to suit their agenda. this is why sometimes men need a break from women and look at porn. outrageous.

 

Uhhhh, go ahead. I don't see why any of us would feel inclined to stop you. I think it's a good decision for you, personally.

[Els]

i'll look at porn today but come firiday i'll be hitting the bars. how bout you give iris some worthwhile advice rather than coddling her? she can get a man but she gonna have to do some work and take some risks.

 

I did. She chose not to answer. Her prerogative. You can choose the same.

[seachangeoflove]

i don't have such issues getting women. i take risks and i've been burned but i keep taking risks. some of thats negotiable, but since i take risks if i find someone whos more my taste im going to choose her over you.

 

 

I am glad you know better then to choose a woman who is not right for you!! That's a good thing. I don't want a man who doesn't want me.

 

Too bad some other posters here don't try that.

 

 

Go look at porn if you wish, why would I care? I would rather be alone forever then be in a relationship with someone that's not my thing....

[manup]

I CANNOT meet single men. I’ve met two this year. It’s like when I walk into a room, all the single men over 30 walk out the back door. I am not exaggerating when I say I don’t even SEE single men from a distance. I’m not even saying I don’t meet suitable men; I’m saying I don’t meet ANY men at all.

 

I am out and about a lot. There are no single men at the coffee shop, at the gym, when I’m out with friends at night. There are none where I work (well, there’s one recently divorced older man who I tried to date last year, but it didn’t work out. He wasn’t over his ex and we didn’t have a connection anyway.). I don’t see them at the grocery store. I have friends who play on a co-ed sports team so sometimes I go to watch them play: no single men there either. None of my friends or coworkers know any single men, though they know lots of single women. I recently attended a wedding in a different sate. There wasn’t one single man (though this is common for weddings in the South. People rarely show up alone, though there were a couple single women). I’ve been to concerts and art events and still nothing.

 

At first I thought it was the town where I live, but I’ve been to three major cities and a couple smaller towns this year and it’s the same thing. (In one of the major cities I saw a man my age who wasn’t with a woman a few hours before I was flying home. That has been one of the most exciting “encounters” with a man this year.) How is possible to go to a city of over a million and not meet a single man? I wonder if the 30 somethings are home raising children because they sure don’t seem to leave the house.

 

I notice men on here talking about approaching a certain number of women a week, and I’m always shocked. So these guys seriously see numerous single women they’re interested in on a daily basis? I am SO jealous. I couldn’t approach a man if I wanted to because there aren’t any to approach.

 

How is it possible that I don’t run into any single men at all? What can I do?

 

I feel cursed. I'm starting to believe that I just have bad luck and the universe doesn't want me to meet anyone.

 

A. Start approaching men

B. Work on your physical appearance and personality (just be feminine and pleasant)

C. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 and deduct 2 points, that is what you really are in terms of attractiveness, find a guy and settle at that level

D. Avoid the pitfalls of your romantic past

[iris219]

Oh come on. When SD said he needs a woman who isn't too fat or above 30 or below a C-cup or with short hair, this was not what you said to him... Nor was it what you said to countless other male posters.

 

OP, I'm not even sure if it's possible for all 30-year-old men to be married in a major city. It definitely doesn't seem possible. Sure, the number of available people, both men and women, decreases with age, but it doesn't go down to 0.

 

Is there any particular reason you won't go below 30? I also agree with the others that you can't judge age accurately by looks. I'm in my mid 20s and have had strangers ask me which high school I go to.

 

I accidentally missed your post.

 

I'm not generally attracted to younger men. I find 45 year olds more attractive than 25 year olds. If a guy who was a few years younger approached me and asked me out, I'd be open to it, but this hasn't happened. I got set up on a blind date last year with a 27 year old (I was 32) and he was nice, but I felt like I was hanging out with one of friend's teenage sons.

 

I know some people look young. I still get carded and people ask me if I go to the university in my town. When I see a group of guys and they ALL look like kids, there's a good chance they are really young.

[Els]

I accidentally missed your post.

 

I'm not generally attracted to younger men. I find 45 year olds more attractive than 25 year olds. If a guy who was a few years younger approached me and asked me out, I'd be open to it, but this hasn't happened. I got set up on a blind date last year with a 27 year old (I was 32) and he was nice, but I felt like I was hanging out with one of friend's teenage sons.

 

I know some people look young. I still get carded and people ask me if I go to the university in my town. When I see a group of guys and they ALL look like kids, there's a good chance they are really young.

 

Hrrm. Well, if you really want 45+ year olds, there is indeed a very good chance that the majority of them are married or at least divorced. Or at least, that's the case everywhere I've been. The single population generally goes down as the age goes up. I'm sure there are 45+ year olds around, but you'd need to know where to find them. I'm not sure where. Try, uh, university professors or consultants or something?

[iris219]

Hrrm. Well, if you really want 45+ year olds, there is indeed a very good chance that the majority of them are married or at least divorced. Or at least, that's the case everywhere I've been. The single population generally goes down as the age goes up. I'm sure there are 45+ year olds around, but you'd need to know where to find them. I'm not sure where. Try, uh, university professors or consultants or something?

 

Oh, I’m not dying to date 45 year olds! That’s at the far end of my range. I actually think it’s harder for me to date older because I look so young. 35-38 would be perfect.

 

Anyway, I’m off the the gym where I will be amongst teenagers, married men, and 70 year olds. The 70 year olds are super nice and make a point to talk to me. There's one in particular who's always excited to see me.

[LexiB]

Iris, I think I remember you saying you were against online dating in one of your other threads. Have you ever given it a shot? If not, it might be time to at least *try* it seeing that all else has failed...

[mortensorchid]

You are not alone. Life is not always fair. You cannot make a certain man like you, you cannot make SOMETHING happen. And it's best to be with by yourself than with the wrong person, because that's like a nightmare that you never wake up from.

 

I'm sure that things will change if you just keep going and keep trying, no matter what those things may be. Don't sit around the house all day, get up and do something.

[Emilia]

Does anyone have any suggestions that could increase my chance of meeting men?

 

You ignored my very specific ones on page 2 I believe, you also ignored January's suggestions (very similar to mine)

[RedRobin]

I LOVE where I live (except for the dating scene).

 

You couldn't pay me to live in NJ! Years ago, I dated a guy who lived in NJ and I hated it every time I visited. I used to live in NYC and I couldn't wait to move back south.

 

If I moved, I'd stay in the south. I also prefer to date guys not from up North, though it's not a deal breaker. I've just found I don't have as much in common with them.

 

You've seen the singles map. You need to move West of the Mississippi.

 

Austin, TX; Denver, CO; Anywhere in the Northwest. I personally can't stand CA, but there are supposedly tons of men there too.

 

If the economy would ever get unstuck, I'd be out there myself. Still working on it. I live in the NE. It is not much better here.

[Shaun-Dro]

I CANNOT meet single men. I’ve met two this year. It’s like when I walk into a room, all the single men over 30 walk out the back door. I am not exaggerating when I say I don’t even SEE single men from a distance. I’m not even saying I don’t meet suitable men; I’m saying I don’t meet ANY men at all.

 

I am out and about a lot. There are no single men at the coffee shop, at the gym, when I’m out with friends at night. There are none where I work (well, there’s one recently divorced older man who I tried to date last year, but it didn’t work out. He wasn’t over his ex and we didn’t have a connection anyway.). I don’t see them at the grocery store. I have friends who play on a co-ed sports team so sometimes I go to watch them play: no single men there either. None of my friends or coworkers know any single men, though they know lots of single women. I recently attended a wedding in a different sate. There wasn’t one single man (though this is common for weddings in the South. People rarely show up alone, though there were a couple single women). I’ve been to concerts and art events and still nothing.

 

At first I thought it was the town where I live, but I’ve been to three major cities and a couple smaller towns this year and it’s the same thing. (In one of the major cities I saw a man my age who wasn’t with a woman a few hours before I was flying home. That has been one of the most exciting “encounters” with a man this year.) How is possible to go to a city of over a million and not meet a single man? I wonder if the 30 somethings are home raising children because they sure don’t seem to leave the house.

 

I notice men on here talking about approaching a certain number of women a week, and I’m always shocked. So these guys seriously see numerous single women they’re interested in on a daily basis? I am SO jealous. I couldn’t approach a man if I wanted to because there aren’t any to approach.

 

How is it possible that I don’t run into any single men at all? What can I do?

 

I feel cursed. I'm starting to believe that I just have bad luck and the universe doesn't want me to meet anyone.

 

This is a nonsense thread. There are single men everywhere. Just maybe not the ones you're trying to get with, whatever fantasy that is, but they are all over the place, so quit your whining, lower your standards, and go and make a move for once in your life. You may finally have luck.

[momiss2]

I often wondered the same thing: any single men out there?: Chuckling to myself wondered why single people don't wear shirts identifying themselves... "I'm available" in neon. That was my visual and always made me laugh when I thought about it. No I didn't get the shirt. I had a girlfriend the other day get picked up at a grocery store. A man walked up started chatting and gave her a business card with name and phone no. saying call me. (This card was made to give out to woman because it didn't advertise a business) lol They're are singles out there just be patient.

[zengirl]

Iris, I think I remember you saying you were against online dating in one of your other threads. Have you ever given it a shot? If not, it might be time to at least *try* it seeing that all else has failed...

 

I'll echo this. Time to try something new, if it's that bad!

[iris219]

You ignored my very specific ones on page 2 I believe, you also ignored January's suggestions (very similar to mine)

 

I've done meetup groups in the past. I live in a small town, so the groups here will not have the diversity that the groups in your city have. As far the groups go: It was always mostly women. A few of women were tolerable; the few guys there were overwhelmingly awkward and weird. There were too young anyway. It wasn't fun. I'd rather hang out with my friends, who I like and have fun with.

 

I volunteer for a couple of groups. One organization is always families and college students. I made my single female friend go with me last time so I wouldn't be the only one and we among a few single women (I think there were two others). There were no single men. The other organization is mostly older people, and often it's just me and one older man doing something specific. He says he's always on the lookout for single men for me!

 

I haven't done OLD, but I've browsed sites for my area and it's depressing. I know too many people in my town, so I know or know of many of the guys on there. I've heard nothing but HORRIBLE things about it from people I know. Again, if I lived in a bigger city, maybe, but not here.

 

I really do try. I get out a lot. I don't sit around my house. I have a active social life. Sometimes I'm trying to work in 2 or 3 social engagements in one evening. And I still don't meet single men.

[zengirl]

Iris, are you willing to date people a bit further away?