Professor X Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 C'mon. Don't be one of those guys who can't stand to hear that there are women who have trouble dating too. People on here know I live in the South, that's no secret, and a few know in what state. Jobaba is single, and has asked you out, go for it. Truth is, if you're half decent looking, man will drool all over you, it's always like this, everywhere in the world, and I have been into most places/cultures. I am sure single men do hit on you, but you're just shooing them away and marking them as creeps/losers. Well, it's your right to do so, but also your problem. 1
FitChick Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I'm 33 and will date men into their late 40's. I want children, and unfortunately I've noticed that many older men don't because they've had them and don't want more. That's why I date them! 1
Emilia Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Where (what places) are you most successful in meeting these guys? Maybe it has to do with the fact that I've haven't spent extended amounts of time in major cities. Through hobbies, sport, pubs, friends, in the super market. The best way is 'Meetup'. I'm member of about 8 groups of varied interests (none are singles groups) and I meet men all the time. I could go out every evening during the week if I wanted to and speak to someone new. What makes you say this? Do you think of projecting some sort of vibe that makes men scatter? I hope that's not true! No, I think you are looking for an excuse not to. You are saying they don't exist without putting extensive effort into trying to meet them or at least talk to some.
seachangeoflove Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Truth is, if you're half decent looking, man will drool all over you, it's always like this, everywhere in the world, and I have been into most places/cultures. I am sure single men do hit on you, but you're just shooing them away and marking them as creeps/losers. your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I am out and about a lot. There are no single men at the coffee shop, at the gym, when I’m out with friends at night. There are none where I work (well, there’s one recently divorced older man who I tried to date last year, but it didn’t work out. He wasn’t over his ex and we didn’t have a connection anyway.). I don’t see them at the grocery store Out of curiosity, when you walk into a coffee shop or grocery store and see a bunch of men, how do you know that they are not single? Are single men in your area required to wear a special sign or something?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Me too iris. I have stopped meeting single men in my late 20s and it only got worse. If I go out, I am approached by men at least 5 years younger looking for something casual. That does me no good. When I turned 30, I went a YEAR without meeting a single man my age. I don't mean men walking around, I mean men that I actually have at least one conversation with. I went out and did things and nothing. Never mind any suitable men, there just weren't any. I would get excited whenever a semi-cute guy talked to me but I would soon spot a wedding band or he would mention his girlfriend. I used to go home in tears! I am sure they are around, but the numbers have dwindled so much that the probability of meeting them by going about your life is pretty much zero
Feelsgoodman Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I agree. That's why I'm starting to believe I'm cursed. I agree too. It's pretty clear that satan is responsible for your lack of dating success. 1
verhrzn Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 You know ... you've been running this game the whole time I've been here. You're attractive and there's no single men in the little town where you live. In the little town where you live, even a short, ugly single man would be swept up in a fever by desperate, undersexed females. Well ... where is this place? You've been asked like over 100 times. At least give the state. Otherwise, I'll assume you are a troll. It's similar for where I am too, and I'm in a big city, in the Midwest. Out of curiosity, when you walk into a coffee shop or grocery store and see a bunch of men, how do you know that they are not single? Are single men in your area required to wear a special sign or something? For me, it's either wedding band, or they are with another woman.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I am sure they are around, but the numbers have dwindled so much that the probability of meeting them by going about your life is pretty much zero You want to be approached by men while you are going about your life and not putting in any effort. I agree, the probability of that happening is slim to none. If you are young and very good looking, you will get randomly hit on by guys every now and then (and even then, these would be mostly bottom of the barrel guys...desirable men rarely approach women at random). But when you're 30+, you can't count on bottom of the barrel guys either.
seachangeoflove Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I agree, the probability of that happening is slim to none. If you are young and very good looking, you will get randomly hit on by guys every now and then (and even then, these would be mostly bottom of the barrel guys...desirable men rarely approach women at random). But when you're 30+, you can't count on bottom of the barrel guys either. but then Truth is, if you're half decent looking, man will drool all over you, it's always like this, everywhere in the world, and I have been into most places/cultures. I am sure single men do hit on you, but you're just shooing them away and marking them as creeps/losers. so which is it? my little female mind is so confuzzled...oh, please I need a man to heeeeeeeeeeellllllllllppp meeeeeeee. 2
ohmygoshistalk Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Hmm iris u havent mentioned ur age, are u 30+? If so that could be the reason, one thing i learned in love shack is most men like young girls aged 17 to 28 or 27 (29 is asking too much). Anyway to each his own you know, dont worry though if you just move or something, perhaps try to meet more people (not just men) you can actually meet someone who love a woman for more than looks/sexual prowess. 2
Author iris219 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Truth is, if you're half decent looking, man will drool all over you, it's always like this, everywhere in the world, and I have been into most places/cultures. I am sure single men do hit on you, but you're just shooing them away and marking them as creeps/losers. No, this doesn't happen. (Well, a man did trip over himself trying to turn around to check me out the other night at a sushi restaurant when we were heading into the bathroom. Good thing the woman he was with didn't see this!) I don't reject men because there aren't any to reject. That's the point of this. Me too iris. I have stopped meeting single men in my late 20s and it only got worse. If I go out, I am approached by men at least 5 years younger looking for something casual. That does me no good. When I turned 30, I went a YEAR without meeting a single man my age. I don't mean men walking around, I mean men that I actually have at least one conversation with. I went out and did things and nothing. Never mind any suitable men, there just weren't any. I would get excited whenever a semi-cute guy talked to me but I would soon spot a wedding band or he would mention his girlfriend. I used to go home in tears! I am sure they are around, but the numbers have dwindled so much that the probability of meeting them by going about your life is pretty much zero I feel the same way. I go out and I look pretty, and there’s no men to talk to. I don’t just go out to meet men, of course, but it would be nice if this happened occasionally. I sometimes come home and feel like I wasted time looking nice. Everyone is paired up and I’m alone. I get excited too when I see a guy my age. But, without fail, I soon notice that he has on a wedding band or is with a girl. I’m not frustrated about being single; I’m frustrated that I can’t even get a date and have the chance of meeting someone. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to talk to single men because I never have the opportunity.
Woggle Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Try getting out of the south. The dating scene can't be too good there. No offense to any southerners but you couldn't pay me to live there. 1
Author iris219 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Try getting out of the south. The dating scene can't be too good there. No offense to any southerners but you couldn't pay me to live there. I LOVE where I live (except for the dating scene). You couldn't pay me to live in NJ! Years ago, I dated a guy who lived in NJ and I hated it every time I visited. I used to live in NYC and I couldn't wait to move back south. If I moved, I'd stay in the south. I also prefer to date guys not from up North, though it's not a deal breaker. I've just found I don't have as much in common with them.
verhrzn Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Try getting out of the south. The dating scene can't be too good there. No offense to any southerners but you couldn't pay me to live there. I get very nervous with the idea of posters telling Iris to move. I mean, a move MIGHT help... but I live in a big city in the North, and still have the same problem. And I'm not just saying "Men don't hit on me" (they don't do that either), it's that there are literally no single men around. Even if I got it into my head to approach guys (which, as discussed many times already, is the WORST idea), there are none to approach that don't already have a woman with them. I've even tried Meet-Ups... at the single events are all women, and the other groups I've gone to (hiking and movie stuff mostly) it's mostly couples.
Woggle Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I LOVE where I live (except for the dating scene). You couldn't pay me to live in NJ! Years ago, I dated a guy who lived in NJ and I hated it every time I visited. I used to live in NYC and I couldn't wait to move back south. If I moved, I'd stay in the south. I also prefer to date guys not from up North, though it's not a deal breaker. I've just found I don't have as much in common with them. To each their own. I love living here and I met my wife here so people can get lucky.
Author iris219 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Does anyone have any suggestions that could increase my chance of meeting men?
jobaba Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 No, this doesn't happen. (Well, a man did trip over himself trying to turn around to check me out the other night at a sushi restaurant when we were heading into the bathroom. Good thing the woman he was with didn't see this!) I don't reject men because there aren't any to reject. That's the point of this. WRONG! You just rejected me. And before you say, "Oh, some desperate whiny loser who can't get a date on the internet doesn't count" ... ...you are the same. I just had somebody a few months ago and I'm willing to take a chance. If a woman on here seemed promising, I'd be willing to give up this silly, stupid internet handle, stop posting here forever and see where it might go just for that. Or at least if that didn't go anywhere, post under a different handle.
Author iris219 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 WRONG! You just rejected me. And before you say, "Oh, some desperate whiny loser who can't get a date on the internet doesn't count" ... ...you are the same. I just had somebody a few months ago and I'm willing to take a chance. If a woman on here seemed promising, I'd be willing to give up this silly, stupid internet handle, stop posting here forever and see where it might go just for that. Or at least if that didn't go anywhere, post under a different handle. Your invitation isn't serious or practical, so stop saying I rejected you. Why would you want to date a random stranger from the internet? You don't know anything about me. You don't know anything about my interests, my career, what I look like, and we don't live anywhere near each other. It doesn't make sense.
paperboy48 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 So, date older men or married men. I am 36 and love love love to date men 45 and older. Have their **** together, are responsible and most of them have already been trained how to behave around a woman since they're usually divorced. And since they are also divorced they're not used to getting sex. This a agree with and am glad you said it and feel there is hope for me because of it. give a 45 year old due a blow job and then bring him a beer and he will eat out of the palm of your hand like a well trained puppy. That does get old after awhile so you can move on to the next one. And if you find one with shared custody of their kids they usually have to plan things far in advance which makes it easy to juggle multiples of them. This is cruel...
jobaba Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Your invitation isn't serious or practical, so stop saying I rejected you. Why would you want to date a random stranger from the internet? You don't know anything about me. You don't know anything about my interests, my career, what I look like, and we don't live anywhere near each other. It doesn't make sense. Not date. Meet. And I'd be more than willing to take a chance to meet someone in a non practical manner. So yes, I would meet you. I'm sure you'd have to see a picture first, know what I did, how much $ I made, etc. I don't need any of that to meet you. I'm willing to take chances to make things happen. And I'm not even really looking right now! You are NOT as desperate as you claim. So just stop the whining. It's disrespectful to the guys here who TRULY can't get a date.
Author iris219 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Not date. Meet. And I'd be more than willing to take a chance to meet someone in a non practical manner. So yes, I would meet you. I'm sure you'd have to see a picture first, know what I did, how much $ I made, etc. I don't need any of that to meet you. I'm willing to take chances to make things happen. And I'm not even really looking right now! You are NOT as desperate as you claim. So just stop the whining. It's disrespectful to the guys here who TRULY can't get a date. I don't care what a man does or how much money he makes. My only physical requirements are that he not be too short or too fat. You're right: I am not desperate enough to risk meeting a complete stranger who could be a serial killer. You've missed the point of my thread. I didn't say I couldn't get a date because men don't like me. I said I couldn't get a date because there's no one to date. If I had the chance to meet single men, I think I'd do OK.
jobaba Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 My only physical requirements are that he not be too short or too fat. ......................
Els Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Ah... See. Now it all comes out. Continue your whining... Oh come on. When SD said he needs a woman who isn't too fat or above 30 or below a C-cup or with short hair, this was not what you said to him... Nor was it what you said to countless other male posters. OP, I'm not even sure if it's possible for all 30-year-old men to be married in a major city. It definitely doesn't seem possible. Sure, the number of available people, both men and women, decreases with age, but it doesn't go down to 0. Is there any particular reason you won't go below 30? I also agree with the others that you can't judge age accurately by looks. I'm in my mid 20s and have had strangers ask me which high school I go to. 1
Els Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 You are NOT as desperate as you claim. So just stop the whining. It's disrespectful to the guys here who TRULY can't get a date. Also, NONE of the guys here can truly not get a date. NOT ONE. I agree that in the OP's case it isn't so either, but you're painting the men as having no requirements at all and the OP as having unreasonable ones, and that simply isn't true. Have you even tried asking the guys if they'd date an obese woman or a 50-year-old woman? I have. Their responses were the same as the OP, bar none. Stop imagining that all men are benevolent beings whose only requirement is that the person is human and female - some of them may SAY so, but only because they don't even THINK of anyone outside their requirements as being part of that subset, and when you ask more specific questions you tend to get to the root of it. TL;DR: Stop sympathizing with one and vilifying the other. It's incredibly annoying and hypocritical. 3
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