CarboniteCammy Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 (edited) When I was 22, I dated a 38 year old. My friends were SO MEAN about it, and to this day the only thing I think of when I remember him are my friends saying, "OLD BALLS!!! EWWWW!" We never had sex and I broke up with him really fast because my friends terrified me about it. hahaha! Even now at 31, 38 would be a liiiiittle too close to 40 for my comfort. It's one thing to grow older with my husband, but I wouldn't seek out anyone that age. Edited June 26, 2012 by CarboniteCammy
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 i don't think i've ever read a lamer attempt at being witty You know what's lamer? Saying the overused, "that joke was the lamest thing I've ever read" or a variation of that phrase. You might as well have typed, "ha, ha, so funny I forgot to laugh".
paperboy48 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I'm in my mid-thirties and I would MUCH rather prefer a woman in her thirties over a woman in her twenties. But, I'm into the MILF's...always have. Once my Ex-W became a mother I was much more turned on by her.
Algermas Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Ah, so when you say 'bang women' you actually mean 'for money'. In that case, good for you, and good for the women getting cash out of you. I just hope they get good money for it, to make it worth it. Only dumbasses actually pay, you let them smell the money but never taste it. Novices will give it up before actually getting anything out of you, older golddiggers have learned not to through trail and error.
Els Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Only dumbasses actually pay, you let them smell the money but never taste it. Novices will give it up before actually getting anything out of you, older golddiggers have learned not to through trail and error. Hey, what doesn't kill a novice gold digger makes her stronger, I guess. Either way, you and those women are so amazingly suited for each other, it's like a fairytale. Good on ya! 1
mesmerized Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I can relate to OP too except I'm a woman in my twenties. Older guys usually have much more experience than me, hell even men my age do. That's exactly one of the reasons I'm not into guys more than a few years older.
Thieves Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) I think it's fine to date whomever you want. I wouldn't make any assumptions on a person's experience solely because of age, though. But you sound open-minded, OP. The only men who seek younger women who I have a problem with are the ones who feel entitled to it or feel the need to disparage women their own age. Why the need to devalue anyone else to seek what you want to seek? And entitlement? Well, that's always gross. But none of that seems to apply to you. I will say that I never cared for (in a "wanting to date them" way, not in a "minding they exist" way) the kind of men like you, but not because it's bad -- just because the whole idea of feeling 'behind' any women, in terms of knowing what you want in a R, sounds dangerous to me. But perhaps that comes from having a clearer idea of what I wanted, younger. Many men with your attitude (which is not bad, just not my cuppa) approached me in my 20s, especially early 20s, and I was quite annoyed with the frequency of it, as that really wasn't anyone I had an interest in. But some girls do, I guess. A note on the thread: I do think the word "baggage" is often misused as RR says, and I know more 20-somethings with actual "baggage" (the kind of toxic mind-garbage that slows you down) than 30-somethings, who've hopefully had enough experience to turn their "baggage" into life experience and accept it. I agree with this completely. People should be able to date whomever they choose, but they also need to understand that obviously everyone is going to have their own opinions about those choices/preferences. Still... I think you (OP), or anyone, should always stay aware as far as your true intentions when it comes to preferences. Often, even if we believe that we have our own decent reasons for certain things we find attractive or for certain preferences, it can be just as likely that those reasons don't go as deep as we think they do. Or that those 'reasons' actually play a much smaller part, and so can leads us to passing up other people who could actually be good for us. Expanding on what Zengirl wrote, even though I'm still in my early 20's, I've always been sort of weary of older men who claimed a younger age preference. Especially men 10-20 years older who seemed rather viligant about it by putting down women their own age. Not attractive. What I do find irritating is the assumption that these "younger women" some older men date are automatically 'naive' or less experienced/mature than they are. There's also the assumption that they want an older man 'to lead', or to 'teach' them things. In a way, yes, it's only natural that younger women are less experienced in 'life' generally, but this vague idea that they'll be like a clingy newborn puppy to these older men is annoying. If I ever were to date an older man, I'd want us to be in a relationship where we'd both lead and teach each other things despite our ages. Again, I'm young, but that does not always = naive and immature. Likewise, I also know women my age who already have enough 'baggage' to repel men their own age, nevermind men older than them... Edited June 27, 2012 by Thieves 1
Shaun-Dro Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I read a lot about women in their 30s into 40s wondering why guys their age date younger women. Well, I can tell you my POV... I'm not BLOCKING anyone by age, to be sure. If I met a woman my age or even older, and if we were a match, I'd be really happy to date them. When I was in my 20s, I was confident overall like as a person but I wasn't very sure about things when it came to interacting with women and asking them out. I didn't date or go out with anyone in my early to mid 20s. In my late 20s I found an LTR that just ended, and now I'm in mid-30s. Now that I've lived a little more, I feel more confident about who I am and how to interact with women. I see a whole now world of exploring relationships and interactions that I never had access to before. Girls I meet in their 30s can be really nice but many have more experience than me. I'm mature and responsible and I find women in their 30s are attracted to me. But what I'm exploring now, I find that many women in their 30s have already explored that stuff and have moved on to different things. When I talk to women in their 20s I feel like I have more in common with many of them when it comes to exploring relationships and sex. Women in their 20s are always better. Steer clear of the 30s. They have a bunch of issues you want no part of. Don't be fooled by the nice visage!
Oncehadluv Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I sense jealousy and envy In this thread do I won't say much My POV= I agree 100% about engaging in women in the. 21-25 group Over that they just have more expectations, more sexual experience and more baggage Who wants to bend over backwards to please a women that has Already experienced many things already in her life? The more attractive she is the more she has seen and experienced.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 @op: you're that handsome to have the luxury of choice i say go for it. the younger the easier. That's true. With the older ladies, the usually expect more costly dates or gifts. With the younger ladies, they are usually easily charmed by brightly colored stickers and lollipops. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Women in their 20s are always better. Steer clear of the 30s. They have a bunch of issues you want no part of. Don't be fooled by the nice visage! What nice visage? We are talking about old ladies in their 30s after all remember? What 30 year old ladies look like apparently to a number of the men on this board. 1
USMCHokie Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I'm 28. I think I want to go after 18-20 year olds now. 1
Oncehadluv Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Guys the women who are in their 30+ that post on this board is going to come and post contradictions to dating younger women and will go out of thier way to validate thier posts. Good luck with them!
USMCHokie Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Well, all joking aside, I do completely understand what OP is saying and I can relate very well in regard to life and relationship experience. I am in my late-20's, relatively young by modern standards, but with relatively little relationship experience. I want to date someone who has had a similar level of experience because the actual journey is part of the reason I want to be in a relationship...to share new experiences with them...and if I'm dating someone who has "been there, done that, got the t-shirt," it is significantly less fulfilling for me...it's like I'm all excited about experiencing something, and I feel like she's just along for the ride, saying 'whoop-dee-doo' at every corner... I have what I think is a great analogy for this...imagine you're on a tour bus exploring a new city that neither of you have been to...I'd much rather she be sitting next to me and seeing all the new sights rather than up front as my tour guide... As bitter and awful as this sounds, I'll be blunt and straightforward in saying that I don't want someone else's leftovers... 1
Negative Nancy Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 As bitter and awful as this sounds, I'll be blunt and straightforward in saying that I don't want someone else's leftovers... with little to no (relationship) experience in your late 20s, you could be seen as just a "left-over" (literally - as in: no one wanted you and everybody passed you up) as well 2
RedRobin Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Guys the women who are in their 30+ that post on this board is going to come and post contradictions to dating younger women and will go out of thier way to validate thier posts. And there will also be plenty of younger women reading the same posts figuring out exactly why older men hit on them. And will be turned off. OP, Since these younger women are quite naive about men in general... and older men in particular, it really does help for guys with your preferences to post here so that the ladies know what to avoid. Most women over 30 have figured out that many men are shallow when it comes to looks/age and have double standards when it comes to things. Why do you think we screen for character? Sure, it takes us a few years, but we figure it out. The younger ones haven't figured that out yet. But you are helping them learn that with threads like this one. Good job.
RedRobin Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 That's true. With the older ladies, the usually expect more costly dates or gifts. With the younger ladies, they are usually easily charmed by brightly colored stickers and lollipops. I never have expected costly dates or gifts. Some younger ladies think it is a compliment or shows how 'mature' they are when an older 'man' is interested in them... not realizing that the reverse is true. She is being sought out because she is naive and inexperienced. Oh, yea, and because she's 'hot'. Younger women with low self-esteem are easy targets. That's why some older 'men' like them.
Oncehadluv Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Here come the old chicks with thier pearls and cross analogies Op , steer clear of older women, " they know it all" wich is another paradigm to your inquiry
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 ...and if I'm dating someone who has "been there, done that, got the t-shirt," it is significantly less fulfilling for me...it's like I'm all excited about experiencing something, and I feel like she's just along for the ride, saying 'whoop-dee-doo' at every corner... I have what I think is a great analogy for this...imagine you're on a tour bus exploring a new city that neither of you have been to...I'd much rather she be sitting next to me and seeing all the new sights rather than up front as my tour guide... As bitter and awful as this sounds, I'll be blunt and straightforward in saying that I don't want someone else's leftovers... I get this but it is also about your attitude to dating. When you have less experience of something, usually that means more mistakes. Having someone more experienced who is also understanding can help you through the glitches. Some people don't care that their partner has seen the sights before, some perhaps appreciate the really pretty parts being pointed out to them rather than miss them in the cavalcade.
RedRobin Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Here come the old chicks with thier pearls and cross analogies Op , steer clear of older women, " they know it all" wich is another paradigm to your inquiry Obviously, the OP (and men with his preferences are lost causes). Funny thing is, they don't realize how much damage they are doing "their cause" whenever they make threads like this one. It doesn't take long for the facade to drop and the other clueless LS men to jump on the bandwagon. Even better. Keep it up guys... You are 'schooling' the young ladies without them ever having the misfortune of meeting you. ha ha Too funny.
RedRobin Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I get this but it is also about your attitude to dating. When you have less experience of something, usually that means more mistakes. Having someone more experienced who is also understanding can help you through the glitches. Some people don't care that their partner has seen the sights before, some perhaps appreciate the really pretty parts being pointed out to them rather than miss them in the cavalcade. Actually, I think he is missing a bigger point. Every person is unique. So there is no way that anyone's experiences can possibly align. Since he has so little experience, he hasn't figured that out. One thing I like about the age I'm in, is seeing the trajectory of a man's life. His behaviors and choices. Makes it much easier to screen out the bad eggs. This is something younger women ought to consider when an older man approaches them. Ask the hard questions. There is a very strong likelihood that he is dating younger because women his own age or older have learned how to screen for character, and found him lacking.
Els Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 That's true. With the older ladies, the usually expect more costly dates or gifts. With the younger ladies, they are usually easily charmed by brightly colored stickers and lollipops. Pretty unfair thing to say. If you don't wish to be negatively stereotyped based on your age, it would be well if you did not do the same to other ladies. We only do ourselves a disservice by doing this to each other. Believe it or not, many young women are not the naive, gullible, and easy prey that some believe they are. Many, including myself, have no interest in men who seek to date much younger than their age group. It's just creepy. Many others who DO date them - well, I'm not sure who is the predator and who is the prey in some of the cases. Certainly the girls are getting a good deal out of things, as their definition of 'good deal' encompasses material wealth and items.
Sugarkane Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 This is BS. I liked a guy who was 10 years older than me- 35 I liked and would've gone out with him even if we were the same age. yet I got rejected as he thought our age difference was too big. Even though I'm not a teen abd we're both adults.
Emilia Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Actually, I think he is missing a bigger point. Every person is unique. So there is no way that anyone's experiences can possibly align. Since he has so little experience, he hasn't figured that out. One thing I like about the age I'm in, is seeing the trajectory of a man's life. His behaviors and choices. Makes it much easier to screen out the bad eggs. This is something younger women ought to consider when an older man approaches them. Ask the hard questions. There is a very strong likelihood that he is dating younger because women his own age or older have learned how to screen for character, and found him lacking. I have dated much younger men almost exclusively for years and I think Hokie has a point. I'm much more careful now about playing the 'experienced card' (except in bed ) but it takes the right attitude from both parties. A younger man can't possibly expect me to behave like a 20 year-old. Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser, some screen, some continue to screw up. One thing I have learnt is that someone either has a backbone and a strong character or he doesn't. Age doesn't come into it.
RedRobin Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Pretty unfair thing to say. If you don't wish to be negatively stereotyped based on your age, it would be well if you did not do the same to other ladies. We only do ourselves a disservice by doing this to each other. Believe it or not, many young women are not the naive, gullible, and easy prey that some believe they are. Many, including myself, have no interest in men who seek to date much younger than their age group. It's just creepy. Many others who DO date them - well, I'm not sure who is the predator and who is the prey in some of the cases. Certainly the girls are getting a good deal out of things, as their definition of 'good deal' encompasses material wealth and items. Problem is... there is an element of truth to it. Just like there is truth to some criticism that women's looks go downhill after a certain age. Unfortunately, it is younger women's desire to FEEL mature before they actually are, that helps older men set the hook. Anyway, I never saw the draw of dating a man for money. At any age. She can always make her own money. She can't get the youth (and time) back that she wasted going after the buttons and trinkets he threw her way... 'buttons and trinkets' come in many forms, BTW.
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