eurastrav Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I read a lot about women in their 30s into 40s wondering why guys their age date younger women. Well, I can tell you my POV... I'm not BLOCKING anyone by age, to be sure. If I met a woman my age or even older, and if we were a match, I'd be really happy to date them. When I was in my 20s, I was confident overall like as a person but I wasn't very sure about things when it came to interacting with women and asking them out. I didn't date or go out with anyone in my early to mid 20s. In my late 20s I found an LTR that just ended, and now I'm in mid-30s. Now that I've lived a little more, I feel more confident about who I am and how to interact with women. I see a whole now world of exploring relationships and interactions that I never had access to before. Girls I meet in their 30s can be really nice but many have more experience than me. I'm mature and responsible and I find women in their 30s are attracted to me. But what I'm exploring now, I find that many women in their 30s have already explored that stuff and have moved on to different things. When I talk to women in their 20s I feel like I have more in common with many of them when it comes to exploring relationships and sex.
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I'd like to point out that a significant number of older women do not have better dating experience than you. Many women in the US get married right after high school or college and can count the number of bfs prior to marriage on one hand. If you want younger pussy then go for it. No need to waste time trying to explain yourself to insecure, bitter chicks about it. 1
Els Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I think there's absolutely nothing wrong for going for what you want. The people here who have been attacked 'wanting younger pussy', as Oxy so elegantly put it , usually either: 1) Feel they are entitled to it, and complain when they do not get it 2) Say a lot of negative and judgmental things about women based on their age group, to the point of derogatory name-calling You don't seem to be doing either of the above - you just have a personal preference. We all do. Don't be ashamed of wanting what you want, just be willing to work for it. Understand that there is a fair bit of competition for younger women, and also the fact that when it comes to women 10+ years younger than you, you have to be careful about filtering out their motives. I'm in my mid-20s, I'd think really hard about dating someone in his mid-30s, and I don't know anyone in their early 20s who dated someone 10+ years older than them without money being at least one of the reasons. 3
Author eurastrav Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Thanks for the replies. Yeah - there are definitely women in their 30s who are going to be more like me. It's just that I encounter fewer of them. It's not a gender thing either. Many guys I know in their 30s have already done a lot of exploring and know themselves very well when it comes to dating and sex. They have that "been, there, done that, know what I want" POV just as much as many women in their 30s do. It also depends on where you are in the country. Where I live, there are very few people getting married in their 20s. It would be kind of unusual. Late-20s is when marriages start (if people even get married). I think competition is only what you make of it. I don't think in those terms. I am also not a pickup artist hitting on "chicks" at the bar. I like to be myself and relate to people and connect...smile, start a gentle conversation. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Date whatever age group women you want. But I just think you are making up justifications/excuses on why you want to date younger women. This isn't anything we haven't heard before. Overall, if a man doesn't believe he is at the same maturity level of a woman his own age, if he feels inferior to women his own age, it's probably best he didn't date women his own age because they will probably get tired of his lack of maturity anyway. 1
Emilia Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Wanting to explore still puts you in a minority in your 30s yes. A lot of people have a closed and narrowed life by that age. It sounds like you are open to connecting with the person who is right for you rather than pick rigid specifics, that should work well to your advantage. I'd say don't set rules on age and don't worry about who wants what. Just go out, talk to women, make friends and acquaintances and see whom you click with.
Lobouspo Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I'm 38 and the last woman I dated was in her 20's. Its not because I prefer them over women my own age. Its just tough in my neck the woods to find a single woman my age without kids, divorces and all the other complicated baggage. 2
RedRobin Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I'm 38 and the last woman I dated was in her 20's. Its not because I prefer them over women my own age. Its just tough in my neck the woods to find a single woman my age without kids, divorces and all the other complicated baggage. ...not to mention the women close to your age who find men who don't have a history of LTR or an attempt at marriage to be a big red flag (ie commitment-phobe) and another type of "baggage". IMHO, people who use the word "baggage" to describe life experience (especially the kind that demonstrates at least an attempt at responsible adulthood) are the ones with the most "baggage".
Emilia Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 ...not to mention the women close to your age who find men who don't have a history of LTR or an attempt at marriage to be a big red flag (ie commitment-phobe) and another type of "baggage". IMHO, people who use the word "baggage" to describe life experience (especially the kind that demonstrates at least an attempt at responsible adulthood) are the ones with the most "baggage". No I'm with Lobo on this. There is a lot of difference between experience and baggage. The former is somethng that enriches and makes you grow, the latter drags you down I generally sympathise with the OP, I find the same with men 1
veggirl Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 If it's a lack of experience thing, I can totally understand. If it's just "girls in their 20s are so hot! You dry up at 30!" well I find that disgusting. If a guy in his 30s just happens to click with a girl in her 20s and dates her, fine. I'm disturbed by men in their 30s who actively seek out only 20something girls (usually early 20s). If a guy is single, never married, no kids, I get not wanting a woman who is divorced with kids and stuff. I am 29, never married no kids, wouldn't date a guy who had either of those things under his belt. So in that respect I get that a gal in her 20s would be more likely to not have that "baggage" so to speak.... I don't think anyone begrudges who someone else clicks with and dates, it's the attitude of "women are nasty old hags at 30" that is bothersome. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I can relate to OP. Even though I am in my 30s now, I feel that I have less experience than people my age (for a variety of reasons, mostly due to my own bad choices). I feel more comfortable with "less experienced" guys because I feel more of a bond and more of being on the same page. ALL my relationships ended up being with guys that were at least few years younger than me.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 BTW, I also have nothing against guys who date women in their 20s because they are hot. Everybody has free will and right to have their own preferences. As long as the guys I like prefer me, I don't care what rest of the world does
ohmygoshistalk Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 u dated someone in your 20s, who was also in her 20s. the ltr ended. now youre in your mid 30s. then that will end and u will be in ur mid 40s..so on and so forth. 1
monkey00 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Now that I've lived a little more, I feel more confident about who I am and how to interact with women. I see a whole now world of exploring relationships and interactions that I never had access to before. Girls I meet in their 30s can be really nice but many have more experience than me. I'm mature and responsible and I find women in their 30s are attracted to me. But what I'm exploring now, I find that many women in their 30s have already explored that stuff and have moved on to different things. When I talk to women in their 20s I feel like I have more in common with many of them when it comes to exploring relationships and sex. Your post kind of struck a chord with me. I'm in my late 20's and I have gone on a few dates with women my age, my last ex was my age. And I've been on other dates lately with women in their early 20's. I think when I was 21/22, I had a pretty rough time with women because I was inexperienced and unweathered as a person/man. I think these days I feel more complete, confident, and whole as an individual. But anyway women my age felt more like my equals and their experiences were more or less the same as mine in terms of maturity, profession, traveling, etc. It's all good common ground, but I feel like something like this makes more for a good male-female friendship. Maybe it's the idea or the fact that younger women want you to take the lead and you can teach them things about the world they didn't know about. The older people get the less inclined they are to try new things or go out, I felt that way about my peers. They also exhibited higher levels of baggage than younger women. Some days you'd feel like you guys might butt heads. Younger women are often looking forward to exploring and going out and doing things. Anyway that's just my 2c.
ohmygoshistalk Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 @op: you're that handsome to have the luxury of choice i say go for it. the younger the easier.
Algermas Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 If it's a lack of experience thing, I can totally understand. If it's just "girls in their 20s are so hot! You dry up at 30!" well I find that disgusting. If a guy in his 30s just happens to click with a girl in her 20s and dates her, fine. I'm disturbed by men in their 30s who actively seek out only 20something girls (usually early 20s). If a guy is single, never married, no kids, I get not wanting a woman who is divorced with kids and stuff. I am 29, never married no kids, wouldn't date a guy who had either of those things under his belt. So in that respect I get that a gal in her 20s would be more likely to not have that "baggage" so to speak.... I don't think anyone begrudges who someone else clicks with and dates, it's the attitude of "women are nasty old hags at 30" that is bothersome. Have you seen the average 30+ year old woman? As we in Germany like to say: zum Kotzen I'd rather be a eunuch than bang women my age.
Els Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Have you seen the average 30+ year old woman? As we in Germany like to say: zum Kotzen I'd rather be a eunuch than bang women my age. How fortunate for you that you're one of the few who's likely to get what you wish for.
Algermas Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 How fortunate for you that you're one of the few who's likely to get what you wish for. Not unless I suddenly become impoverished and thus part of the class of men who are burdened with bedding women their own age.
Els Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Not unless I suddenly become impoverished and thus part of the class of men who are burdened with bedding women their own age. Ah, so when you say 'bang women' you actually mean 'for money'. In that case, good for you, and good for the women getting cash out of you. I just hope they get good money for it, to make it worth it. 1
yongyong Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 it's just pretty simple. you don't have to provide logical reason to appear as 'genuine person' we all want to drive less used, less mileage, less owners car with shiny paint job, tight gears, smell good seats. nobody wants to drive 85 car that people might say his car is too old.
Negative Nancy Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Have you seen the average 30+ year old woman? As we in Germany like to say: zum Kotzen I'd rather be a eunuch than bang women my age. same could be said about the men 2
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Have you seen the average 30+ year old woman? As we in Germany like to say: zum Kotzen I'd rather be a eunuch than bang women my age. same could be said about the men So Nancy would rather endure female circumcision than bang men her own age? Hmm. This explains a lot.
Negative Nancy Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 i don't think i've ever read a lamer attempt at being witty
ThaWholigan Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I'm a guy in my 20s and I like the older gals . There was a hot 37 year old I met out in town today on my way back from business workshop, made her day when I chatted her up . Women of any age can be beautiful. I don't understand the whole youth is better thing so I don't focus on the age aspect. I'm a weird guy though, so I can only speak for me .......... 5
zengirl Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I think it's fine to date whomever you want. I wouldn't make any assumptions on a person's experience solely because of age, though. But you sound open-minded, OP. The only men who seek younger women who I have a problem with are the ones who feel entitled to it or feel the need to disparage women their own age. Why the need to devalue anyone else to seek what you want to seek? And entitlement? Well, that's always gross. But none of that seems to apply to you. I will say that I never cared for (in a "wanting to date them" way, not in a "minding they exist" way) the kind of men like you, but not because it's bad -- just because the whole idea of feeling 'behind' any women, in terms of knowing what you want in a R, sounds dangerous to me. But perhaps that comes from having a clearer idea of what I wanted, younger. Many men with your attitude (which is not bad, just not my cuppa) approached me in my 20s, especially early 20s, and I was quite annoyed with the frequency of it, as that really wasn't anyone I had an interest in. But some girls do, I guess. A note on the thread: I do think the word "baggage" is often misused as RR says, and I know more 20-somethings with actual "baggage" (the kind of toxic mind-garbage that slows you down) than 30-somethings, who've hopefully had enough experience to turn their "baggage" into life experience and accept it. 2
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