vtgirl Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I snooped in my bf's phone a few months ago, and found some stuff I didn't like. He's had a password on his phone ever since. I haven't asked him why, bc I know the answer:me! Should I be worried? If I brought it up, he would just say he doesn't want me snooping in his phone.. I'm thinking the worst, and assuming he's talking to his ex, etc..
Philosoraptor Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 What did you find that you didn't like? Why would you stay after finding such things?
Author vtgirl Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Found him sexting with another girl..I stayed bc he said he would stop. It was in the very beginning of our relationship. Do passwords on phones always mean he's hiding something?
Philosoraptor Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I know I have no issue sharing as I have nothing to hide. He could have other reasons including knowing his privacy could be invaded... but he's shown his idea of boundaries in a relationship.
Author vtgirl Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 He said his ex used to go through his phone, and when I did it a few months ago, he said he doesn't want a relationship where his gf goes through his phone. I'm just wondering if he will ever take his password off.. Bring it up to him or not?
Philosoraptor Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 You need to decide whether or not you trust him. If you can't trust him you shouldn't be with him anyways.
Author vtgirl Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 I trust him, but I guess I'm thinking if he has nothing to hide there shouldnt be a password.
Art_Critic Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Do passwords on phones always mean he's hiding something? No, they don't. My wife and I have passwords on our phones.. You should do that as to protect your private info in case your phone is ever stolen or lost. Although.. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.. so he may be hiding something. This is a toughie.. you snooped.. you got caught, so he mistrusts you and he put a password on his phone but why is it there ? to hide contact with his ex or to stop you from snooping.. Only he can answer that question.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 You snooped and found something, that's the difference. If he put a password on his phone it's to prevent you from snooping and finding something you don't like again...why would he? But at the end of the day you have to trust him, privacy is a slippery slope and I've seen a lot of men use that as defensive barrier to keep things under the radar...so you've got to trust your gut feeling and ask yourself If he's really given anything to be insecure about or is this all just made up by that past moment. If you were to snoop on my phone, I'd lock it too...but chances are that's because I don't want you to find something on it either, or I'd just start deleting text messages. If you have a passcode doesn't mean you can't tell your partner what it is....If you have that level of trust I think it will say a lot. The boundaries vary for couples/marriages, but IMO men are always trying to hide something If they're up to no good and the cell phone is definitely the first place you'd want to lock down as a man.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 He said his ex used to go through his phone, and when I did it a few months ago, he said he doesn't want a relationship where his gf goes through his phone. I'm just wondering if he will ever take his password off.. Bring it up to him or not? Based on his posture (figuratively speaking) and his history I wouldn't don't trust this guy. If you bring it up he'll just become defensive or make up some lies, ask him If you should trust him? If he says yes, then ask him who does he contact and text with? If he says, just so and so, everyone harmless! (they all do) then say ok...then you wouldn't mind showing me your latest calls and texts?...depending on what he does and his reaction, the answer should be obvious. If he shows you then you've got lay off big time. If he doesn't, and gets all irate and pissed off...then he's probably talking to his ex or someone else.
Author vtgirl Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 You snooped and found something, that's the difference. If he put a password on his phone it's to prevent you from snooping and finding something you don't like again...why would he? But at the end of the day you have to trust him, privacy is a slippery slope and I've seen a lot of men use that as defensive barrier to keep things under the radar...so you've got to trust your gut feeling and ask yourself If he's really given anything to be insecure about or is this all just made up by that past moment. he doesnt give me anything to be insecure about..my last bf I put a password on my phone, bc I was talking to another guy(not cheating) If you were to snoop on my phone, I'd lock it too...but chances are that's because I don't want you to find something on it either, or I'd just start deleting text messages. If you have a passcode doesn't mean you can't tell your partner what it is....If you have that level of trust I think it will say a lot. The boundaries vary for couples/marriages, but IMO men are always trying to hide something If they're up to no good and the cell phone is definitely the first place you'd want to lock down as a man. its just kind of embarassing..we will be laying in bed, and his phone will go off, and he has to unlock it..makes me feel like i did something wrong,.which in a way I did..
FitChick Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I snooped in my bf's phone a few months ago. He's had a password on his phone ever since. I haven't asked him why, bc I know the answer:me! Should I be worried? If I were him, I'd be worried.
veggirl Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Peruse her past threads you guys. Your BF has no interest in you. You need to move out and find someone who respects you. Yes he is hiding something.
january2011 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 (edited) You mentioned that this happened a few months ago, at the beginning of your relationship. What happened recently to make this issue re-surface? Edit: Ah, looks like the OP is feeling very insecure in the relationship, possibly due to their age difference and his contact with his ex (who is his age). Edited June 26, 2012 by january2011
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 If I were him, I'd be worried. Fitchick is very distrusting...sometimes I find her hiding in the closet, sitting on the floor holding a butterknife at the door...foam in the mouth, hasn't showered for months...it's pretty bad. 1
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