BlazePT Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Why the heck do we do this to ourselves? I had a dream about my ex where we were back together and had sex. I woke up and suddenly these pictures of her having sex with someone else can't seem to get outta my head, especially because shortly after we broke up, I came to know that she's been talking to a guy a lot... She was my first everything, but she already had a boyfriend before. (Excuse the TMI that follows: ) What haunts me the most is imagining her having oral sex with this guy: for me, that's the most intimate you can get with another person and this just destroys me completely! Imagining this guy lying down... or her on her knees... ok you get the picture! The boyfriend she had before me was controlling and made her do things she didn't want to; to me, on the other hand, she always did things on her own will. She even learned many things and we broke many barriers together... It was just so erotic... Is this normal? I've been 7 weeks NC and honestly i feel better, but I guess that this thing is what's keeping me from moving forward...
AlexanderJames Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Here's what I did when thoughts of her with other men came into my head. Changed my trail of thought to thinking about me with better lookin people than her. Not just in bed but finding someone more attractive. It's shallow as hell but it works. Also I started making sure I bettered myself as person in both a maturity way and a physical way. That way Ill be a better more attractive person and she will only have got to experience the weaker, inferior version of me. Build your confidence in yourself up. You cant stop her finding someone else. But you can make sure your a far better person than the next. Make her downgrade. Then find yourself an upgrade 1
barese1 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 This is literally what I'm feeling right now. I can't find anyway to change the thoughts I just chase them out of my head but they are pretty much constant with me now too. I wish there was a solution to this but I really don't think there is 1
Author BlazePT Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Here's what I did when thoughts of her with other men came into my head. Changed my trail of thought to thinking about me with better lookin people than her. Not just in bed but finding someone more attractive. It's shallow as hell but it works. Also I started making sure I bettered myself as person in both a maturity way and a physical way. That way Ill be a better more attractive person and she will only have got to experience the weaker, inferior version of me. Build your confidence in yourself up. You cant stop her finding someone else. But you can make sure your a far better person than the next. Make her downgrade. Then find yourself an upgrade This is actually great advice Alexander, Thanks a lot. Made me feel a lot better!
Author BlazePT Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 This is literally what I'm feeling right now. I can't find anyway to change the thoughts I just chase them out of my head but they are pretty much constant with me now too. I wish there was a solution to this but I really don't think there is Well, the best advice that I can give you is the same that I suppose I normally give to myself: the less you know, the better (NC) and let time heal wounds!
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