klingan Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I was in a long disatnce relationship with a girl for 3 1/2 years and i met her twice in her country and it was pretty serious. I been doing this since i was 17 and now i am 21 , while she is 22. She decided to break it up last year in october out of the blue , it felt me really hurt and shocked and she removed me off her lists. I shut down for a few months. Fast forward 2012 , she contacts me on facebook wanting to be friends. Which i refused ,since i still love her so much. I tried getting her back she refused by saying pretty nasty things since she is dating someone else (online not even in real). I was even willing to get married to her and move to her country. she put me off then , this was in feburary. what put me off more was , i really wanted her to move on, but not with someone on the internet. I mean really? after what we been through why fall in the same pit with someone else after what she had been through with me and the difficulties in maintaining an online relationship? At least i MADE it happen and carried it on to real life by meeting her even though i was so young. then again she broke up with her online bf and sends me a text saying she still loves me despite ho much she denies it. I responded saying "i love you too" and then i decided to not use a cellphone anymore. Now she is dating some american online, and then again i tried to get her back this was at the end of april. She refused saying if i came back with her she "could" do the same thing again to me. I said it was her loss and told her she underestimated me. then after a day she said to message her before her operation which is at the end of june. I have made up my mind not to contact her and she removed me off her lists. Would it be considered heartless if i dont' call her before her operation? i really don't want to , i don't want to feed her ego. I love this girl a lot , was even willing to move to her country and willing to start a life with her. Her Operation is in a few hours from now , and i am feeling so damn miserable. Why can't i shake this feeling off? I have disappeared from her life since the last time i tried which was on april 29 , its going to be almost 2 months. I tried so much for this girl, sacrificing my needs just to travel and meet her and gave her everything she wanted. sigh
Eddie Edirol Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 You cant shake this feeling because you keep going back for a connection with her. If you cut her off completely so she couldnt contact you at all, you would have gotten over her and found someone new by now. SO cut her off completely, block her on everything, and move on with your life, for good. Smake it so she cant exist anymore. Dont keep falling for her sweet talk when she is lonely. Sher doesnt want you, she is probably just sweet talking you to keep you on the hook, just in case she wants to go backwards, but many times that doesnt happen. If she found a reason to break it off with you then, it will happen again. LDR's dont work for most people. Most people need to see their girl/boyfriend on a regular basis, or they get lonely and move on. Leave her be, and forget about her and her operation. Im sure she has been busy looking for someone new, sweet talking them, and he will visit her during her operation. Dont say anything, otherwise she will know she has you wrapped around her finger. act like she doesnt exist, it isnt heartless, not after what she did to you.
Author klingan Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 What is the operation? Scoliosis , a curvature of the spin Its funny because throughout the relationship i have been there when she had the pain or difficulty of breathing. But she has a new boyfriend now, so i don't think i'd fit that criteria of "being there for her"
Mallow Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Go complete no contact. She treated you terribly, lead you on, and then pushed you down. Take care of yourself.
january2011 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Whose opinion matters in addressing your question? Ours as internet strangers who have no dealings with you offline? Your own? You've already made up your mind not to contact her. Hers? Her behaviour suggests that she doesn't care about you anyway, whatever her words claim. So, it doesn't matter whether the answer is, "yes" or "no" - you're not going to contact her anyway. I suspect though that the main reason you think that this is a dilemma is that you want to maintain the idea that you did everything you could. That no matter what she did to you, you were always kind and supportive. For what it's worth, from an internet stranger, you've already done more than enough to demonstrate your empathy and that you're a good guy. You don't need to do anymore and have nothing to prove, to yourself, to her, to us.
df1304 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I would not contact her anymore. If you are hesitant in the first place, I think it would be best to just cut her off for good. If you still love her, it's going to be hard to do that, but trust me, if you don't have to be reminded of her on a regular basis by seeing her name on a contact list or seeing her picture somewhere it will be easier to move on. I've gone through a breakup too recently and even though it hurt at first to delete everything that reminded me of my ex, it was a good decision in the end. I'm really sorry about the way she broke your heart. Some people just don't know what they really want, I guess. She sounds really confused, and like she has a lot of growing up to do. She even went out of her way to hurt you even though you gave a lot of yourself to the relationship, from the sound of your post. You sound like you have a great heart and you've done all you can for her already... it sounds to me like she can't appreciate that. As they say, don't cry over someone who won't cry over you. Good luck!
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