bigbucks9186 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 My girlfriend and I had been dating for three years. We did literally everything together and had very similar goals and dreams in life. Everything was going good with few bickering fights here and there. Nothing major, and they were always resolved within a few hours at most. We had never broken up and were always together, in fact, she was the one always asking me to come over or coming over to my place. Anyways, everything was going good and she decided to go to a party. We got into a little argument about it because she only knew one person there and i was concerned about her safety. The next morning she was upset with me and we got into a larger argument. This one lasted the whole day until she came to my place and apologized after work. Everything was back to normal and good. We decided to take a few days from talking to each other in order to let ourselves cool off. Well apparently, she had met someone at this party, and went out to eat with him two days after our no talking agreement. The next day she came over to my place and was crying, told me she saw herself marrying me, but didn't want anything serious. She couldn't leave and kept kissing and hugging me. And told me she thinks she is making the biggest mistake of her life. She told me she met someone and was infatuated with him, and that she had never felt that way about anybody since we were dating so she was afraid. We broke up. The next day her sister texted me and was saying she regretted her decision and was forwarding texts. She was crying and very upset b/c she said she shattered our trust and she said she wanted to be with me. Well that night the new guy and her met. She drank with him apparently and the next day seemed different, like her whole outlook was gone. However, She still cries about anything that reminds her of me. As far as i know now, the new guy and her are dating and have moved in together. She had asked me to remain friends and I denied it and told her that we were a package deal. She was very upset and told me she never wanted to lose me. She told me that everything she did reminds her of me and she can't escape it. And it makes her sad. Any input?? I love her but as far as I'm concerned I am moving on. Thanks.
ReadySetGo182 Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 I am new to the forum as well and similar to yourself I was with someone for, almost 3 years. I would say focus on you and move on. It's hard to do when you really love a girl, but it's necessary. Surround yourself with as many good friends as possible. Stay busy with work and hobbies. And never let your mind idle over the situation.
AlexanderJames Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Sounds like you are making the right choice mate. Im sorry to hear about your situation it's so sad when things like this happen especially involving third parties. She's obviously doubting herself in a big way. To be honest the discription of what happened leaves a lot un answered. How could meeting someone one night make such an influence that it would cause a LT relationship to fall apart if nothing had happened between the two of them? That is just my opinion of course dont let me put idea's in your head but I've had similar happen to me before. I was dating a girl a couple years back and we were great together. We never fought and her family loved me to pieces. Then she went to a party without me. I couldnt make it to the party with her but she made me promise to call her at exactly midnight and tell her I loved her. I called her but she seemed off. I went and saw her the next day and she said that she was unhappy with us and needed to do what was best for her. Despite saying these things she could not stop crying and could not bring herself to let go of me when I went to leave. I found out a couple of weeks later that she had cheated on me. She hadn't entered a relationship with the guy, it was a spur of the moment once off. But she felt she didnt deserve me and couldnt live with the guilt of betraying me so she left me. She has since revealed that she often cries still at memories and the thought of me. And she says she will always love me. Maybe the reason your ex is so back and forth and upset but not there with you is because she made a mistake and let you down. Both of you? Whats important is that you're moving on though mate. And welcome to the forum. I look forward to hearing your progress and how you're coping with things over time. Leep sharing your story, everyone is here to support you.
AlexanderJames Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Just remember that she left you mate. If you were meant to be together she would still be there with you now. Dont let yourself think you were perfect, something had to be wrong for her to do what she did. But it's no fault of yours so dont blame yourself. She's not the one for you. As Johnny Depp once said. "If you love two people, chose the second. Because if you really loved the first you wouldnt have fallen for the second"
Author bigbucks9186 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Well i'm sure she didn't cheat because we had a mutual friend there and he told me the details. They weren't along all night long. He said they didn't even flirt. What she told me was that she saw me in him and it scared her. like she saw what me and her had when we first met. the whole situation is really wild and nobody really knows what is going on but i'm fairly sure nothing happened between them as the friend is a good friend of mine. I feel maybe she got scared b/c she felt for someone else and dumped me out of respect. She seemed very honest with me about it.
Mallow Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 She disrespected you. If she was serious, she would have never left. There are no excuses for her actions. Don't let her have her cake and eat it too. It's best to refuse friendship and go no contact. Let her see what she let go, she'll realize her mistakes. Stay strong, you'll pull through just fine. 1
Author bigbucks9186 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 I have been staying busy and hitting the weights like mad. I have put on 10lbs in a month. So i'd say i'm doing well. I would have to say probably more so than her. The fact that she raced right off to another relationship right after screams she is trying to fill a huge void.
Recommended Posts