meben Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Started talking to this guy on Match about a month ago. He was on vacation the first week and a half and we talked or texted multiple times a day. When he got back we went out on a Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. All the dates went great. The next week we only chatted a little bit here and there. He is an IT consultant and as I soon found out works all the time. Not much time for chatting anymore. We did go out last Friday, which I initiated. we had a good time and Saturday I texted him to say hi and 2 days later still got no response. Well my mind starts thinking he must not be interested and let me let him off the hook before I get hurt. So dumb butt me texts him this morning. Me: sorry in advance for my forwardness, but I am not the type of person to keep things hanging. It has become apparent that things between us are going south. LOL I just wanted to thank you for making me realize I could like someone again. I wish you the best of luck in finding what you are looking for. HIM: Good Morning. I'm sorry you feel that way. I've had a busy week. Didn't mean to make you feel this way. ME: I understand you have been busy and maybe I misconstrued it as disinterest. I just don't want to get hurt and chase after you if you are not interested. I'm sorry to make you feel bad. That was not my intention. HIM: I understand. I don't want to make you feel like you have to chase me. ME: Maybe if you don't totally hate me right now we can talk on the phone or maybe not. It's up to you. HIM: Working on site. Can't now. ME: Sorry, I meant later. Now what? I really like the guy and I just thought I would let him off the hook if he was not interested. Was my text really bad? TIA for any advice. Edited June 25, 2012 by meben
fishtaco Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Oh man... bad. You came off as clingy because you need constant attention. Also, you have low self esteem. Maybe you are that way, maybe you're not, but that's what you came off as. At this point the ball is in his court. Wait for his response. Next time, be patient. This is from the perspective of an evil multidater. You are trying to "do the right thing" too much. At this point, you simply don't have enough information to make a decision. But because you want to "do the right thing", you jumped the gun, made an assumption, and made yourself look bad. A multidater wouldn't care. If it's too early to make a decision, then don't make one, simple. Leave this one unresolved as long as the ball is in his court, then go date a few other guys and see how this guy pans out. If he wants off the hook, he's a grown man, he can take himself off the hook. But if you don't multidate, which is perfectly fine, then maybe there's a right way to handle it. Maybe it involves sitting around for several weeks and banking on that he'll be interested. But since I don't do that, I can't give you the right answer on what a non-multidater would do. Maybe someone else can chime in.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Nobody is so busy that he can't answer a text message in two days. And I mean nobody...not even POTUS. The guy is just not interested and is trying to let you down gently.
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