mortensorchid Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I had posted on this issue in the past. Many weeks ago, a friend from a theater company that I was active with said she wanted to play matchmaker to me and this other guy in the company. According to her I am his dream girl. So I wrote her an email through Facebook and asked "how do we get this trian rolling?". Her response was "I can't be there this weekend, be brave and ask him out." Well, I didn't. I did see him at set build that weekend, he and I chatted a bit so I feel like I know him (if not somewhat). Ever since then we exchanged some banter on Facebook, but not much else. I wrote an email to the gal who planted this seed in me and said "Hello, still here, are we doing this or not?". No response. I feel that I have been let down here. There is no way I am going to ask this guy out, because this woman said that she was going to "do it" and did not. I think that is the right thing to do, isn't it? If I ask him out, he won't take me seriously. What is left to do other than the reminder to the initial matchmaker?
Seneca Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Sorry but this is what life dished out... so what are you going to do with it? It's not the picture perfect setting you wanted of having your matchmaker set everything up for you. But that's life. Now you can either stop making excuses and ask the guy out. Or you can wait for him to ask you out. Balls in your court.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I think you are making a really big deal out of nothing. It sounds like you are also prodding her in an annoying way and maybe even guilt tripping her (your tone here sounds that way) and she very well may have decided that you aren't his "dream girl" after all. People say stuff like that all the time. Like, "we should do lunch soon." And then they don't call you, or at least not for a year. It's normal life. It's not a big deal. If YOU want something to happen with that guy, then YOU need to put yourself out there and do what you can to try to make it happen, not keep blaming this "matchmaker" (who sounds more like an acquaintance who made a casual remark to you than a "matchmaker") and trying to make her somehow responsible. It really seems weird.
CC12 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 If I ask him out, he won't take me seriously. I think he would take you more seriously if you asked him out yourself, rather than some random person asking him out on your behalf, or whatever you expect her to do. This matchmaker person does not owe you anything. She offered a favor and when you tried to cash in on it, she told you she couldn't help you and to do it yourself. I'm not sure why you still expect something from her. And after the snarky email you sent her, I'd say your chances of getting any favors from her now are pretty low. You're on your own.
seachangeoflove Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) I feel that I have been let down here. There is no way I am going to ask this guy out, because this woman said that she was going to "do it" and did not. I think that is the right thing to do, isn't it? If I ask him out, he won't take me seriously. What is left to do other than the reminder to the initial matchmaker? His taking you seriously or not has nothing to do with you asking him. If you've chatted with him already, he's formed a solid opinion of you already. If you feel he is worth the rejection just do it. It will probably shock the hell out of him because women don't usually ask guys out. So don't be freaked out at a surprised reaction, it doesn't mean a negative. Harsh Reailty- More then likely he is not interested or he would have asked already. Also probably why your friend has not responded. She asked him and he said "no thanks" There is a small probability that he is just very shy. i've asked out many dudes and mostly heard 'no' but allw ere shocked and mostly flattered. I say ask him anyway, take the chance if you are that into him. If you are not, just keep flirting. things to consider if he says no are "am I ok seeing him in the future and if so will I have to avoid this theater company. And are those things you are ok with. Edited June 25, 2012 by seachangeoflove
Feelsgoodman Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I feel that I have been let down here. There is no way I am going to ask this guy out, because this woman said that she was going to "do it" and did not. I think that is the right thing to do, isn't it? If I ask him out, he won't take me seriously. What is left to do other than the reminder to the initial matchmaker? People will come up with the most amazing excuses to rationalize their fear of making the first move.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 You all are right. I am moving on. It's nothing.
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 You all are right. I am moving on. It's nothing. Well, what about just asking the guy out for a cup of coffee or a beer? Sounds like you are really interested. Why not?
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