lindslax Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 We got into a discussion where he wants me to talk about my past. I really do, I despise it more than anything. My thing is I like to keep the past in the past especially with a new relationship. Some things are better left unsaid. He's asks me often that he feels that I have this dark side about me that I'm witholding. I'm no perfect angel but I don't want him to know every guy I've been with and stupid things I've done in my past. Our huge argument this weekend was that he said that I have a crush/liked my best friends boyfriend...which I don't. He brought up the fact that one evening he caught me staring at my best friends boyfriend. I never felt that I had a thing for him ever. It escalated downhill from there, he asked about my previous relationship with an ex and asked how many guys I had been with after him.. I told him two and he didn't believe me after that. I felt completely shocked at the fact he thinks hes right. I have lied to him previously only for small things to protect him from the known. A guy that I had dated in my past texted me and I immediately deleted it. I didn't want to associate with him or anything. But my boyfriend over looked my shoulder and asked and I said it was nothing. Let me state that he is a police officer and also can read people's body language and tone. It's a blessing and a curse. I was just offended and hurt that he would think that he was right because his exes have done that to him in the past as well. I like to think I'm different. I never cheated on him or am talking to anyone else. I really do care about him but when I tell him one thing he shuts down. To the point where it's depressing, and I'm a happy person. It's been like this for the last month and it's not the same anymore. I feel that I don't have that fuzzy feeling when I'm with him and I have to watch what I say because he'll just get quiet and I'm the one apologizing for my wrong-doings so he'll maybe cheer up a little. But with Saturday night He walked away from me and I felt uncomfortable being at his apartment if he went to bed and I'm just standing there like "what do I do" so I said I'm going home and he replies "that's fine". It's been 2 days since we've spoke and it's got me wondering if the relationship is even worth this mess or should I wait for him to text me or do I text him? I feel like I'm always the one texting first in this relationship and that I can't just be a girl around him I feel like I'm the guy and he's the girl... I don't get emotional or depressed with things he says but he does with me.. Please help!!!
InJest Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Consider it as him breaking up with you, and be happy! This guy is really insecure, and if you were to tell him your past, he would never let you live it down...just look how he's behaving now. You looked at your friend boyfriend once at dinner??? WTF? Send him a text and tell him not to contact you anymore. And you should definitely tell him that he acts like a girl.
TigerCub Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Your guy was screwed over by past gfs and now has trust issues. I'm all for apologizing when wrong, but now it seems like you're feeling that you have to walk on eggshells around him and apologize for any and everything. That's not a healthy relationship. Depending on how long you've been together and how much you want the R to work - maybe counseling is an option. Otherwise, if its not, it probably would be best to just end it.
veggirl Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 How long have you been together? I would just break up, you aren't even comfortable around him and he has self esteem issues. Demanding to know details of your past is not cool, most adults I know are fine with a vague overview, no exact #s or details being exchanged should be necessary. You're initiating most the contact, he is badgering you and making you feel crappy, just walk away.
Quiet Storm Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I would just let this guy go, because I doubt you two will overcome the trust issues. When you meet another guy, don't do this: I have lied to him previously only for small things to protect him from the known. A guy that I had dated in my past texted me and I immediately deleted it. I didn't want to associate with him or anything. But my boyfriend over looked my shoulder and asked and I said it was nothing. Small lies, even if insignificant will create doubt. Also, men are not going to appreciate you "protecting" them from the truth. If you don't want to share your past, say "I'm not comfortable sharing that", but don't lie.
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