irc333 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 There's this woman in our social group, we go out dancing, comedy clubs, etc. She's basically getting out of the house, because she's been housebound for so long. One of the reasons, she's in some kind of Long distance relationship. Recently, I've seen pics posted of her in photos on FB in group photos, having fun and the like, nothing wrong with that. But she'd be like getting chummy with guys in the photos, and so on. She never brings her b/f to these events EVEN when he's in town. So I tend to wonder about that. I think one of the guys in the group has even taken a liking to her as well. Anyone find it odd she she hasn't brought her boyfriend to a single dancing club venue or any kind of event and that she comes alone? I had recently mentioned to her, "Too bad your boyfriend doesn't like to go to these things, he'd really enjoy our company" Trying to see what her response to that is. But, again, very odd she goes out dancing alone. What's bad is, most of the men in that group are unattached or ALL of them uanttached....and are taking a shine to her.
january2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) She's in a long distance relationship - it's probably not that easy to bring him into her social activities. She has her social life and he has his. And he may not have any interest in joining in when he's in town. I'm in an LDR and it's virtually impossible to involve my SO in my social life. I don't think separate social lives in an LDR necessarily indicate that there's something nefarious going on. Edited June 25, 2012 by january2011
Author irc333 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 She's in a long distance relationship - it's probably not that easy to bring him into her social activities. She has her social life and he has his. And he may not have any interest in joining in when he's in town. I'm in an LDR and it's virtually impossible to involve my SO in my social life. I don't think separate social lives in an LDR necessarily indicate that there's something nefarious going on. Yeah, but it's good to hang around, and make attempts at "going out for drinks" together, right? Personally, I think it's a sign of a relationship that's on a downward spiral actually....if you can even CALL it a relationship at all. Some men that are into, might be fold enough to not even care if she says she has a boyfriend, given the LDR thing. Perhaps even make a move on her regardless? Kind of be "that guy" when the relationship dies out?
january2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 As an outsider, you don't really know what's going on in their relationship. You can guess, but you don't really know. Their relationship may be working for them. Or it may not be working, and they're heading for a break-up, as you suggested. Only time will tell. You are judging based solely on what you see and so the margin of error is a lot bigger than you may think. From what I remember, you've mentioned this woman a few times. I suspect that you're investing too much mental energy into analysing her behaviour and probably not enough to improve your own situation. Your posts also suggest that you're not close enough for her behaviour to impact negatively on your circumstances. However, since you seem very concerned about what she's doing, I'd advise you to approach and address her directly so that she can answer your questions and put your mind at rest. Since we (LS) don't know her and have not observed her behaviour firsthand - it's very difficult to address your queries with any decent level of accuracy.
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Despite the pundits of LS proclaiming that you need physical lust, intellectual connection, and a jar full of emotional butterflies for any relationship that is not doomed to misery, I have met several unconventional couples during my life. One has been together for 8 years and has not had sex in 5 years or so. They regularly spend their weekends partying with different crowds and mingling with many unattached members of the opposite sex. For them, they are perfect for each other. They are always there for each other when they need each other (which isn't often). He is really good looking too. He could get other women. Sometimes, for some people, love is very unconventional...
Author irc333 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 One has been together for 8 years and has not had sex in 5 years or so. And you know this for sure?
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 And you know this for sure? Yes. Both have confided in me on separate occasions that were two years apart. Everyone has their own definition of love and to push the theory that you need someone hot, crazy smart and successful, with sparks all over the room to be happy is ludicrous. All people are different. He is a really good looking guy too. Some women have met him and texted him after saying they 'really need to get to know him'. She is not conventionally attractive.
Emilia Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 He is a really good looking guy too. Some women have met him and texted him after saying they 'really need to get to know him'. She is not conventionally attractive. Are they in their 20s?
TigerCub Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 - Maybe her bf doesn't like the club scene - Maybe he'd rather to take her out for drinks when they are just one on one - Maybe they have an open relationship - Maybe he has people he'd like to see when he's in town - its not a bad thing to have some separate social events - you don't know that they don't go together to other events that your group isn't into. So what did she say when you made this comment? I had recently mentioned to her, "Too bad your boyfriend doesn't like to go to these things, he'd really enjoy our company" Trying to see what her response to that is.
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Are they in their 20s? She's like 35. He's like 39 or so.
Author irc333 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Or, she could just be lying about it, to get men she isn't into to not ask her out or even consider asking her out.
Author irc333 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 One has been together for 8 years and has not had sex in 5 years or so. Either one person's genitalia stopped working or they're gay. 1
Emilia Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 She's like 35. He's like 39 or so. Interesting, people usually know better by then. Reckon he is gay
Author irc333 Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Interesting, people usually know better by then. Reckon he is gay Ditto, symptoms known as not having had sex with your mate in 5 years would indicate closet homosexual tendencies....OR.....he or she is cheating on you.
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