Eternal Sunshine Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Perhaps this is cynical but my extensive experience has been that guys that use OLD belong to two groups: 1) Desperate, socially inept men that can't get a date to save their life. 2) Players and/or liars; they are after casual sex, most often cheating on their SO and they don't hesitate to lie about who they are in the process. Am I wrong? 1
DuchessKaye Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 You may be right. But I've met one decent guy from a dating site. He treated me well and respectfully when we met, we dated for 3 months but then he had to leave and work in Japan so he let me date other people and made sure I'm not holding out for him. He cares for me. We're now best friends. He's a marine like Hokie
confuzzled1 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, you are wrong. I belong to neither of those two categories and I use OLD.
Emilia Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Perhaps this is cynical but my extensive experience has been that guys that use OLD belong to two groups: 1) Desperate, socially inept men that can't get a date to save their life. 2) Players and/or liars; they are after casual sex, most often cheating on their SO and they don't hesitate to lie about who they are in the process. Am I wrong? No, you are correct. I think there is the odd random guy who doesn't fit in the above but I have the hunch those ones tend to give up on OLD pretty quickly. Who really thinks the best way of meeting people is to go through a large database that's essentially a list of CVs with some photos?
Janesays Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I used to say OLD was full of pervs and emotional cripples with a few decent guys thrown in, just to keep me on my toes.
Philosoraptor Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I used to say OLD was full of pervs and emotional cripples with a few decent guys thrown in, just to keep me on my toes. From what I hear from women it seems to be this way. I was on a dating site, a free one at that. But I'm an emotionally crippled player pervert so I'm just another statistic
kookybunny Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 You will not find as great a selection of messed up people as you will in online dating. It is fun if you are bored or horny, otherwise stay away, FAR AWAY, and proceed with caution.
El Brujo Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Perhaps this is cynical but my extensive experience has been that guys that use OLD belong to two groups: 1) Desperate, socially inept men that can't get a date to save their life. 2) Players and/or liars; they are after casual sex, most often cheating on their SO and they don't hesitate to lie about who they are in the process. Am I wrong? Do bears poop in the woods??? SOME of us happen to value other things in life more than sex, dearie. But to keep things on topic... I'm "decent" (except for a learned distrust of women), but I'd never use OLD again, after the negative experiences I had with it.
Sanman Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Sure, there are decent people on OLD. Even if there are not, it isn't like you don't meet these same people at the local bar (I have seen several in both places). The bottom line becomes that good catches are snapped up quick and don't come on the market that often regardless of where you look. You need to figure out why someone is online. Some people are busy with careers. Others are looking for a specific type of mate (ehtnicity, religion, values, etc.).
El Brujo Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 The decent ones who fall into the OLD trap become jaded... quick. 1
january2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 For me, yes. I met my SO on OKC, so I'm not going to knock OLD. He's decent, but then I'm biased. 3
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Perhaps this is cynical but my extensive experience has been that guys that use OLD belong to two groups: 1) Desperate, socially inept men that can't get a date to save their life. Didn't I just see you say in another thread how you were ignored and couldn't get any men in your 20s? So, now that it is going better for you, why would you be so critical of men who are a little rough around the edges?
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Didn't I just see you say in another thread how you were ignored and couldn't get any men in your 20s? So, now that it is going better for you, why would you be so critical of men who are a little rough around the edges? "Socially inept" is no where near on the same page as "a little rough around the edges." Most of the guys I've seen on OKCupid just seem to use it as a lark. Like, if you're not perfect, they're not interested.
truth_seeker Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 No, you are correct. I think there is the odd random guy who doesn't fit in the above but I have the hunch those ones tend to give up on OLD pretty quickly. I am not a player nor am I desperate. I gave up on OLD fast because I am not keen on multi-dating. Just too many games being played by both sexes that it is hard to know who is telling the truth or not.
truth_seeker Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 The decent ones who fall into the OLD trap become jaded... quick. I couldn't agree more. Friends encouraged me to do OLD. I forced myself to do it even though I was very uncomfortable with it. After a couple experiences, I quit. Just too many bad apples out there messing it up for the good ones.
zengirl Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Met hubby on OLD and many other guys who don't fit those two categories. But you have to be willing to really screen people to have good experiences trump bad -- that's the same everywhere. The only site that ever worked for me was OKC because it pre-screens people based on your questions and even words in your profile (and mine was very detailed) so presented me with an easier way to screen and less screening to do. But still needed to screen, email awhile with a guy, really scrutinized profiles, etc.
USMCHokie Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 OLD is the pure embodiment of the free market theory in dating...so it becomes a matter of complying with societal preferences...
USMCHokie Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Met hubby on OLD and many other guys who don't fit those two categories. But you have to be willing to really screen people to have good experiences trump bad -- that's the same everywhere. The only site that ever worked for me was OKC because it pre-screens people based on your questions and even words in your profile (and mine was very detailed) so presented me with an easier way to screen and less screening to do. But still needed to screen, email awhile with a guy, really scrutinized profiles, etc. Didn't you say in another thread of mine that you didn't compare people for dating...? "screening"..."scrutinizing"...essentially comparing and filtering persons and profiles...?
zengirl Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Didn't you say in another thread of mine that you didn't compare people for dating...? "screening"..."scrutinizing"...essentially comparing and filtering persons and profiles...? Screening and comparing are hardly the same. I absolutely screen people, based on what I'm looking for, but I find comparisons between people to be a poor and rote way of doing so. I said in that same thread that it is essential to know what you want and accept only that, but that is not the same as mere comparing.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I've been on 2 dates with a guy I met online who seems great so far. Time will tell. A good friend of mine is now engaged to an amazing guy she met on match.com. Another friend of mine has been in a great relationship for years with a guy she met through The Onion personals. I agree that a lot of people on OLD are not desirable or relationship material - but that is true in general.
monkey00 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 It's possible. Just pretty rare. From my years on OLD, I've only met 2 quality LTR type girls. One lives in my neighborhood and is now engaged. The other was my ex. The funny thing was that I chose my ex over the now engaged girl at the time when they were both available. For the most part OLD sucks. Don't ask why but I'm still on it.
darkmoon Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 i had certain traits i was looking for, but got a big heap of replies from people who didn't match, can't remember the traits now but i remember being inundated with emails - ppl fool around too much on OLD sites
USMCHokie Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Screening and comparing are hardly the same. I absolutely screen people, based on what I'm looking for, but I find comparisons between people to be a poor and rote way of doing so. I said in that same thread that it is essential to know what you want and accept only that, but that is not the same as mere comparing. Screening = comparing and assessing elements to an established standard. It's no different than going to market and buying only organic foods. A comparison is still being made.
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