Seneca Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 My story starts with a new girl at work. She is pretty hot. She was one of those girls that all the guys turned to look at... Well this new girl was sitting inside the break room. I went inside to grab something to eat. But while I was doing that I was noticing how the guys inside where reacting to her presence. A couple guys were pretending to not notice, but I noticed how uncomfortable they looked. Others just wanted to be noticed and they were acting goofy with goofy grins. And one guy was actually talking to her and telling her about himself. And then there were guys who just a moment ago left, but came back in pretending to grab something else. It was pretty interesting. Anyways, after a quick glance I grabbed my food from the vending machine and left. A couple days later, I spot her outside the building. I just nonchalantly walked up to her and said, "What are you up to?"... from there she went off on something. I listened for a bit, cracked a few jokes, and then I had to go inside so I said goodbye. She seemed suprised that I was leaving so she kept trying to talk to me... Anyways, the point of my story is... don't do what every other guy is doing. Don't be phased by a girls look and start fawning over her. Here's a simple exercise to get over this guys. When talking to a hot woman, talk to her without trying to get something from her. Don't ask for her name. Don't ask for her number. Don't ask her out on a date. Just talk and banter with her and you will be surprised to find that in most cases she will want to hang out with you more...
Leigh 87 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Ironic coming from me, but - people put too much stock in looks! So what if she is mega hot. Guys can look up naked models online if you want. Or get a playboy mag. I dislike how guys treat real life women like a god just because she is hot. I have always believed in treating and talking to people like they are equals. Sure, you may sweat and feel nervous around super hot people - but just tr to be yourself - nothing more, nothing less. 3
MaxNoob Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 So what if she is mega hot. Guys can look up naked models online if you want. Or get a playboy mag. But those are usually photoshopped and not tastefully done. When I see a girl in person who's so extremely beautiful, where it doesn't even make sense how she could come from such an imperfect and cruel world, as if to be in defiance of the ugliness of the world, that in itself is alluring. When she puts so much effort into her appearance, and yet no one talks to her, or just talks to her like a robot, and she's too shy to approach anyone, I'll feel so compelled to talk to her. And if she's flattered by any little thing I do for her, and I'm flattered by how flattered she is, it's almost a surreal experience, making it very easy to fall in love. I know all this sounds like an elaborate excuse for being shallow. I wish I could feel this way for the unattractive girl who doesn't get any attention either, but it is much harder to fall in love with someone who's unattractive.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I never "fawn". When I was a teen an a family with two hot teen girls moved in close by and they brought their hot friends around, my male buddies up to that point acted like fawning idiots. I wound up winning their (the girls) favor and getting the privilege to hang with them (one had it for me but I like her least) but my male friends were so jealous we parted ways. The lesson was learned--have some mystique of your own so that they'll want to find you out. I also however wouldn't go up to someone I haven't established a rapport with yet and ask them "so what are you up to?" Maybe it just doesn't read well but it doesn't sound much different than semi-fawning because it's putting her in a position of either taking it as a familiar expression or a literal request for information she doesn't owe. You never want to lead with a question whose answer can be "none of your damn business".
fishtaco Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Yup, you have to play the game right. Some people can do it naturally, for me it's learned, so sometimes things catch me by surprise and I'd flop. But yeah, basically, you can't show too much interest, and you can't show no interest. Usually it works best to show interest "at your convenience", like what the OP did. He decides when the attention will be dished out, how much, and in what form. And it's a good idea to give her a little taste, then make her work for it. Because people don't value anything that's given to them for free. Sometimes they bite, sometimes they don't. But that's just the nature of the game. Even if you were Brad Pitt (or insert whatever elite status male), you still can't win 100% of the time. For us normal mortals, our percentages are way lower. Play often, and you'll win. Simple statistics. 2
ThaWholigan Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Been doing this for the last couple years. After spending a lot of time around a particularly hot girl, I am somewhat immune to the goofy gait that guys get when they see a hot girl. It's hard sometimes though, if I think she's super hot, but I'm still learning to have mastery of that kind of thing. Hot girls always get fawned over, the few guys who don't - they do come across more intriguing to the hot girls. HOWEVER, it can go the other way. I've had days where I came across as too cool for school (by accident), and they usually think you're rude for doing that - although a couple get a little turned on by it . 2
fishtaco Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Been doing this for the last couple years. After spending a lot of time around a particularly hot girl, I am somewhat immune to the goofy gait that guys get when they see a hot girl. It's hard sometimes though, if I think she's super hot, but I'm still learning to have mastery of that kind of thing. Hot girls always get fawned over, the few guys who don't - they do come across more intriguing to the hot girls. HOWEVER, it can go the other way. I've had days where I came across as too cool for school (by accident), and they usually think you're rude for doing that - although a couple get a little turned on by it . Don't worry about accidentally being too rude. Don't intentionally be too rude of course, I can't recommend increasing attraction level by negative behaviors... some people can make it work, but personally I don't know how. My experience is, if you were accidentally too rude, at the next convenient social interaction, throw them some attention, and all is forgiven. Plus it was such a surprise to me when I found out women actually like the hot and cold game. So guess what, you just played it by accident.
verhrzn Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Don't worry about accidentally being too rude. Don't intentionally be too rude of course, I can't recommend increasing attraction level by negative behaviors... some people can make it work, but personally I don't know how. My experience is, if you were accidentally too rude, at the next convenient social interaction, throw them some attention, and all is forgiven. Plus it was such a surprise to me when I found out women actually like the hot and cold game. So guess what, you just played it by accident. I can't figure out if the whole "Play hot and cold" thing is just a piece of advice guys give each other that no guy actually ever follows, or if it actually works, and the majority of women respond to it. I see it pop up constantly in articles addressed to guys, and I just don't understand why. I HATE the hot/cold game. Nothing makes me turn vicious on a guy faster. Am I really so different from my fellow females?? 3
ThaWholigan Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I can't figure out if the whole "Play hot and cold" thing is just a piece of advice guys give each other that no guy actually ever follows, or if it actually works, and the majority of women respond to it. I see it pop up constantly in articles addressed to guys, and I just don't understand why. I HATE the hot/cold game. Nothing makes me turn vicious on a guy faster. Am I really so different from my fellow females?? Yes you are . That's not a bad thing, if everyone were the same it would be f*cking boring as sh*t. I've seen hot and cold work. Sometimes simultaneously within the same interaction. This was before I ever read it in PUA and other such articles. So it made sense to me. It's not necessarily how I prefer to do things. My approach is typically slow and linear with pauses. Needs perfecting though ..... 1
fishtaco Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I can't figure out if the whole "Play hot and cold" thing is just a piece of advice guys give each other that no guy actually ever follows, or if it actually works, and the majority of women respond to it. I see it pop up constantly in articles addressed to guys, and I just don't understand why. I HATE the hot/cold game. Nothing makes me turn vicious on a guy faster. Am I really so different from my fellow females?? No, not all women are into it. The world is a big place. Even when I say women don't like to have sex with dead bodies... that's not a true statement, because there are female necrophiliacs. So if something like that isn't absolute, then obviously you can't have one general statement that all women like hot and cold. If you don't like it, good for you. But it came as a surprise to me that ANYONE would even like hot and cold. I certainly don't. In fact, I would bail on women that try that crap with me. To make a more completely correct statement, this is what I would say. Many women like hot and cold, in my experience, and really, to my disappointment. But I'm not one of these... "the world sucks, women need to change to benefit me" people. So I adapt. I learned to have hot n cold game in my back pocket for the ones that want it. By default, I play it, because I believe, more than 50% of the women like it. Hence, it makes sense for me to make it the default. If I notice she's not like that, I always have the option of not playing it. How do I know that if she's not like that? If she's attracted to me already, then there's no need for me to play anything. Games are for raising the attraction level. If you have it already, why play? It's a waste of time, plus games ALWAYS run the risk of back-firing. It's good for converting a losing situation, because, you'll lose anyway. But it'd be dumb to throw it into a winning situation. Neutral situation, then it's a judgement call, which is why step-by-step instructions always fail. You need to learn the tools first, then improve your judgement on when to use those tools, and modify them on the fly to integrate into whatever situation is happening at the time. Also using an extreme example, you can go up to a woman and say, hey, for the next two weeks, I'm going to do the hot and cold thing with you, then you'll want to go on a date with me. Even if she's into hot and cold, you just blew it, because she found out that's what you're doing. Subtlety is the key. Before you can EVEN start playing games, you need to create a fog of ambiguity. Then you work your games inside that fog. So if I were to play hot n cold, I would try my best to make it look accidental and unintentional, and I was at the mercy of other circumstances. In this specific case that I was discussing with ThaWoligan, it turned out it IS accidental. Hence I say it's not a bad accident, because some people actually intentionally try to create that exact same accident. On the flip side, if you don't want games, be as clear cut as you can. Then there would be no room for games. And for me, I'm a game player by necessity, so in my utopia, no one would play games. So a lot of the times I would suggest things in dating that are mechanical and business like, because it's always a win if you can cut down ambiguity. But I also understand a lot of people, whether they are game players or not, actually prefer ambiguity. So I have that tool primed and ready to use.... when I'm dating at least. I'm in an LTR now so I'm learning about relationships as opposed to dating. Relationships are way more complicated. 2
Author Seneca Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 I also however wouldn't go up to someone I haven't established a rapport with yet and ask them "so what are you up to?" Maybe it just doesn't read well but it doesn't sound much different than semi-fawning because it's putting her in a position of either taking it as a familiar expression or a literal request for information she doesn't owe. You never want to lead with a question whose answer can be "none of your damn business". You can get away with it if you don't care about the outcome. Because whether she responds positively or negatively it wouldn't affect you either way. It's about being indifferent to the outcome. But yeah, basically, you can't show too much interest, and you can't show no interest." Yes, be subtle..
yongyong Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I am pretty sure all guys would say 'yeah I don't act weird in front of hot girls' ROFL which guy doesn't think they are the sxit at the bar? anyways, it's just natural for guys to act weird when they are around hot girls unless he grew up with many of them (hot sisters and their friends) and he is working with attractive women all the time. (photographer) It's like walking on a thin line. it's awkward to just ignore her or give her too much attention. I observe guys when hot girls walking into the bar (no gay). There are the ones just ignoring her because he knows he can't get her. there are guys turning their head obviously. I think The less visual person you are, the better you will act around hot women. The thing is most guys are born to be a visual person. we get sensations just by looking at them and do dirty thinking in our head. I think it fxcks up the conversation because guys are thinking 'I'd love to lay my hands on....' during conversation. When we are talking to unattractive women whom we don't even want to touch, then we can just be normal.......... 1
sid3 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I am pretty sure all guys would say 'yeah I don't act weird in front of hot girls' ROFL which guy doesn't think they are the sxit at the bar? anyways, it's just natural for guys to act weird when they are around hot girls unless he grew up with many of them (hot sisters and their friends) and he is working with attractive women all the time. (photographer) It's like walking on a thin line. it's awkward to just ignore her or give her too much attention. I observe guys when hot girls walking into the bar (no gay). There are the ones just ignoring her because he knows he can't get her. there are guys turning their head obviously. I think The less visual person you are, the better you will act around hot women. The thing is most guys are born to be a visual person. we get sensations just by looking at them and do dirty thinking in our head. I think it fxcks up the conversation because guys are thinking 'I'd love to lay my hands on....' during conversation. When we are talking to unattractive women whom we don't even want to touch, then we can just be normal.......... WTF is a hot sister? Things must be a bit different in your world.
yongyong Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Are you retarded? (you don't understand those words) Or did you think of something that's really f-ed up? WTF is a hot sister? Things must be a bit different in your world.
phineas Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I can't figure out if the whole "Play hot and cold" thing is just a piece of advice guys give each other that no guy actually ever follows, or if it actually works, and the majority of women respond to it. I see it pop up constantly in articles addressed to guys, and I just don't understand why. I HATE the hot/cold game. Nothing makes me turn vicious on a guy faster. Am I really so different from my fellow females?? errr, I don't play hot cold. I express an interest to date & if she declines I stop wasting time on her. 1
sid3 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Are you retarded? (you don't understand those words) Or did you think of something that's really f-ed up? Guess I'm retarded seeing as I read the words you wrote there wong wong. Perhaps you can articulate just how one views their sister as being hot. Please, just try and dig yourself out of that hole. I'll happily remain a retard before I'd look at my sister as any more. Freak.
yongyong Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 well I can conclude that the culture in this country is so f-ed up. I didn't mean what you think. it was in your head because you are like that. (I told this girl, 'hey I like One Direction song. I am becoming a fan lol' you know what she said? 'well they are very young'. I didn't mean I want to butt rape all of them. this is not the only time. I can't even make a comment on how cute little boy/girl is because they will think I want to rape them. People just assume SEX from many situations that I didn't even think of) Just because she is your sister doesn't mean you can't recognize her beauty. I just meant if you grew up with attractive girls, you will be comfortable being around them. I think your thinking process has to do a lot with your family culture..... Let me tell you one phrase 'only pervert can see a pervert' I hope you get this meaning. Guess I'm retarded seeing as I read the words you wrote there wong wong. Perhaps you can articulate just how one views their sister as being hot. Please, just try and dig yourself out of that hole. I'll happily remain a retard before I'd look at my sister as any more. Freak. 1
sid3 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 well I can conclude that the culture in this country is so f-ed up. I didn't mean what you think. it was in your head because you are like that. (I told this girl, 'hey I like One Direction song. I am becoming a fan lol' you know what she said? 'well they are very young'. I didn't mean I want to butt rape all of them. this is not the only time. I can't even make a comment on how cute little boy/girl is because they will think I want to rape them. People just assume SEX from many situations that I didn't even think of) Just because she is your sister doesn't mean you can't recognize her beauty. I just meant if you grew up with attractive girls, you will be comfortable being around them. I think your thinking process has to do a lot with your family culture..... Let me tell you one phrase 'only pervert can see a pervert' I hope you get this meaning. Nice try, but fail. Here's an example, my mother was absolutely beautiful, but I never saw her as hot.you seem to have grasped the English language sufficiently enough to know the difference between hot and beautiful. So please feel free to pull the race card as you've been called on your pervasive comment. I'm sure you're being kept here against your own free will. Stop stealing your sister's panties is my best advice.
yongyong Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I used to watch Jerry Springers all the time when I came here first because I've never seen those animals anywhere else. I am sure it affected your thinking process. Blame it on the TV! 'Stop stealing your sister's panties is my best advice' Did you get my last phrase? Anyways, I think you are very intelligent and humble man.(no sarcasm) I am a pervert to you because you are the one and that's how you look at it Nice try, but fail. Here's an example, my mother was absolutely beautiful, but I never saw her as hot.you seem to have grasped the English language sufficiently enough to know the difference between hot and beautiful. So please feel free to pull the race card as you've been called on your pervasive comment. I'm sure you're being kept here against your own free will. Stop stealing your sister's panties is my best advice.
sid3 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I used to watch Jerry Springers all the time when I came here first because I've never seen those animals anywhere else. I am sure it affected your thinking process. Blame it on the TV! 'Stop stealing your sister's panties is my best advice' Did you get my last phrase? Anyways, I think you are very intelligent and humble man.(no sarcasm) I am a pervert to you because you are the one and that's how you look at it Ok, seeing as I'm in a generous mood I will take a minute to educate you. Let's take a minute and review our indvidual threads. Mine have asked questions about dating and interacting with women in a social setting. Your's have all been about trying and wanting to **** "hot" women you've encountered at bars, clubs and elsewhere. So please don't even try and pretend that you can even compare yourself. How I look at your latest comments has little to do with your perception, as I see the reality. You see, we can all learn a lot from everyone if we are willing. And you my friend have a lot to learn. Be happy that I singled you out and took the time to point that out.Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to become a better person, I'd be more than happy to teach you what you parents failed to.
yongyong Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Yes. I want to f- the sxit out of those hot girls at the bar. Just like any straight male. You sound like very civilized person. so maybe you don't think that way. I am sure you never watched porn and never had some dirty thoughts in your head (banging a secretary, yoga instructor, female police officer, girl walking on the street etc) You are so pure that you will look Virgin Mary slut next to you. This thread is going the wrong way. There are always this person who catches one single word and changes the whole subject. Ok, seeing as I'm in a generous mood I will take a minute to educate you. Let's take a minute and review our indvidual threads. Mine have asked questions about dating and interacting with women in a social setting. Your's have all been about trying and wanting to **** "hot" women you've encountered at bars, clubs and elsewhere. So please don't even try and pretend that you can even compare yourself. How I look at your latest comments has little to do with your perception, as I see the reality. You see, we can all learn a lot from everyone if we are willing. And you my friend have a lot to learn. Be happy that I singled you out and took the time to point that out.Please feel free to PM me if you'd like to become a better person, I'd be more than happy to teach you what you parents failed to.
sid3 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Yes. I want to f- the sxit out of those hot girls at the bar. Just like any straight male. You sound like very civilized person. so maybe you don't think that way. I am sure you never watched porn and never had some dirty thoughts in your head (banging a secretary, yoga instructor, female police officer, girl walking on the street etc) You are so pure that you will look Virgin Mary slut next to you. This thread is going the wrong way. There are always this person who catches one single word and changes the whole subject. True, my apologies to the OP for thread jacking.Not fawning over 'hot' girls should be a given. And there will always be one person who puts their foot in their mouth and realise they don't like the taste.
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