StellaA Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 This is a general question and everyone will have a different answer depending on their story but how long were you in a relationship and how long did it take to make you feel like you were 'getting over' the break up and felt stronger?
Philosoraptor Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 The moment I decided that I was the most important thing in my life. Everything that easier from that moment. But getting over someone is all dependent on what you put into it. If you treat yourself well you'll find that the time to heal is much quicker than if you don't put yourself first. 1
Author StellaA Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Good answer! What made you 'wake up' and realise you were more important? How long did that take you?
Philosoraptor Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Good answer! What made you 'wake up' and realise you were more important? How long did that take you? I just took a step back and looked at things from an outside perspective. What would those looking at my situation see? Simply enough I was in a poor relationship where I allowed myself to be mistreated. I simply deserved better than that and it was my wake up call. It didn't take long, but it was hard. Getting the courage to disassociate the emotion from masking the truth. Once I took off those clouded glasses I saw everything clearly. Very hard but in retrospect was one of the best moments I've had. 2
Author StellaA Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Yes, I know what you mean. My relationship was difficult as it had some great times and he could be the loveliest person and my best friend. I am now not in the relationship and there is so much I miss but people tell me I am finding it hard because I did everything and now there is a massive gap left! I still miss talking to him but I know it was a 90/10 relationship and I really am worth more, just got to get passed the still missing him stage and start to see things how they really were. I am trying to take steps into focusing on me but it is soooo hard! I'm hoping I 2, will one day think clearly, just like you are doing
Philosoraptor Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Be patient and kind with yourself. If you are you'll find your path to be most efficient.
Author StellaA Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 I think being patient is the key......It has been 2 months and I have been ok, today I am really fighting the urge to contact him and I don't kow why! I will saty strong and not contact him but I don't undersatnd after 2 months why I am feeling like this. I know we split up for the right reason....I have to stay focused on that
morphius Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I am 1 year post BU, after an 8 year relationship. I honestly thought I would die....I couldn't eat/sleep for the first 12 weeks, lost nearly 3 stone in weight. Was prescribed the dreaded prozac...I was in a bad place. I have to have LC with my ex as we have a daughter together, I really thought that not being able to go NC would seriously prolong my healing. I can't really remember when I finally felt better...I guess it was about 10 months in. There was no defining moment for me, but more a gradual realization that it didn't hurt so badly anymore. Now I feel good, She has moved on to a new guy and instead of the intense jealousy and heartbreak that I did feel, I now feel sorry for him! haha. It gets better.
Author StellaA Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 That's great to hear that you are now moving on after such a low period in your life. I think your right, time is the biggest thing! I do not feel as bad as I did a year ago, I 2 lost wieght, drank, went on anti depressants.....all over one person who I know does not deserve me! It's 2 months since we have officially split and had NC......It's just weird how you tend to think about it some days more than others!
january2011 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I was in a 10+ year relationship (that included living together). The first couple of months after the break-up, I was in a daze and on auto-pilot. The next few months after that, I was still in pain but becoming more self-aware. There was a blip around six months when I thought I could try dating again. Big mistake. Then after that, each day, the highs and lows became less distinct - my emotions began to stabilise. Eventually, it took me ten months after the break up to finally embrace my singlehood. Then I entered another LTR within a few weeks after that breakthrough.
Author StellaA Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Thanks January2011, that helps, it's refreshing to hear that it takes some time as I am only on month 2 and a lot of people seem to be a lot further ahead than how I feel! Yes, it's better but at least if I know this is normal, it helps. 1
Limbo21 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 3 years here and still hung up .... Seen her Saturday for the first time in 36 months Never get over them unless you meet someone better
Treasa Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Six years, and after five weeks of trying to get him back, he emailed me saying, "I know I miss having a girlfriend, but I'm not certain that you're the one I want." I was over him after reading those words, no joke. I was in a bit of lingering pain for maybe four or five more days, but then I was fine.
Edtheduck Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 1 year, kids involved. 3 months almost post BU, and not healed. Even with dates since. Wrong choice from me. I'm sure it will come in time.
smokey bear Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 8 year relationship, took me 10 months to get over it, i do somewhat believe that you dont fully move on until you meet someone better.
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