DontWorryBHappy Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I've seen this guy around that I've spoken to once. He's super attractive and was really sweet, and has this amazing smile that stopped me in my tracks the first time I saw it. Last time I saw him I was in a bit of a rush, but after I left, I realized that I really want to ask him out. So as the girl, I'm going to do the asking for a change . Aside from messaging some guys in online dating, I've never been an aggressor or someone to approach and ask a guy out. I'm pretty sure I'll see him sometime this week, and I'm planning on asking him if I can buy him a cup of coffee. Yes, I'm inviting him, so I'm going to pay for us both. If he says no then I'll shrug my shoulders, smile, say "Ah ok, sorry to hear that. Have a great day!" and move on. If he says yes, then I got a date with a super attractive guy that I may never have had a chance with, without being the one to ask. I'm realizing that I'm not willing to waste my youth waiting for guys to approach, especially since my nervousness can sometimes make me appear closed-off or unreceptive.. I was talking to someone today about all this and he told me to go for it and said, "Life's too short. He may be shy too.... So how do shy people meet each other?" And I said, "Humm.. I guess they don't!". And he said, "Right, they stay shy and alone and die with regrets!" Time to break out of the comfort zone .
jobaba Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Yea. Absolutely. Do it. It baffles me that women think that they have a better chance to get the type of man they want sitting around and waiting for him to approach or passively flirting with him. All women should pursue the men they want. Not because it would help me any it wouldnt, but ... if somebody knows what they want, go after it. Good luck.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) Thanks. I'm pretty nervous about it, but I know this is something that I want to do. I totally agree with you about how women shouldn't expect to get the guy they want if they wait for him to show up and ask them out. I believe times have changed a bit, and men aren't as aggressive with asking out women as they used to be... Maybe with all the new advances in technology with facebook and the like.. maybe it encourages laziness or something. But if the good quality men aren't approaching and the women aren't either, then the only guys approaching will be the ones who are ballsy enough to. But the best guy may be slightly too shy to do it, or maybe it was the wrong moment, or a million different reasons. Normally I wouldn't go out of my way to do this, but the guy acted at ease with my presence and flashed this huge smile and used my name as he was saying goodbye to me, and generally just gave me a gut feeling that he may be receptive to a coffee offer. Maybe I'm wrong, but I definitely want to find out if I'm right! Edited June 25, 2012 by DontWorryBHappy
manup Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I've seen this guy around that I've spoken to once. He's super attractive and was really sweet, and has this amazing smile that stopped me in my tracks the first time I saw it. Last time I saw him I was in a bit of a rush, but after I left, I realized that I really want to ask him out. So as the girl, I'm going to do the asking for a change . Aside from messaging some guys in online dating, I've never been an aggressor or someone to approach and ask a guy out. I'm pretty sure I'll see him sometime this week, and I'm planning on asking him if I can buy him a cup of coffee. Yes, I'm inviting him, so I'm going to pay for us both. If he says no then I'll shrug my shoulders, smile, say "Ah ok, sorry to hear that. Have a great day!" and move on. If he says yes, then I got a date with a super attractive guy that I may never have had a chance with, without being the one to ask. I'm realizing that I'm not willing to waste my youth waiting for guys to approach, especially since my nervousness can sometimes make me appear closed-off or unreceptive.. I was talking to someone today about all this and he told me to go for it and said, "Life's too short. He may be shy too.... So how do shy people meet each other?" And I said, "Humm.. I guess they don't!". And he said, "Right, they stay shy and alone and die with regrets!" Time to break out of the comfort zone . Don't be discouraged if he says no, be different than most women and be the pursuer, you'll probably land a better guy that way.
Bristolius Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 As a man my advice is don't forget that you find him interesting, but you don't like him yet because you don't know him yet. He's still on probation, so to speak. It's a brave thing. I hope it goes your way.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Bristolius, that is good advice and definitely is how I am thinking about it right now! For all I know he could be a gigantic loser (with an attractive exterior) or he could be the sweetest guy ever. It's impossible to know yet... I just want to take a risk and find out. Unfortunately I don't always know when I'll see him around. It very well may be today, but it may not. We shall see!
FitChick Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Is he even available? I would suggest showing him that you are interested and receptive and attracted to him which would give him an opening, if he felt the same, to ask YOU out. Verbalize to him what you've told us -- that he has the most beautiful smile and has made your day. Linger for a beat, holding his gaze, then walk slowly away. If this is someone you might see on a regular basis, that would make things easier.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 Lol, the point of this was not to do a "lingering gaze" and walk away, or give the man an opening to ask me out. Why can't I ask him out? In many cases, men are faced with asking women out when they don't know if they are available or not. I don't have a clue wither he's available. He could have a girlfriend for all I know, and if he does, I hope he politely turns me down!
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 So I did it. When he saw me he recognized me right away and said, "Oh, hey!". I asked him about what he was studying in school and what year he was, he seemed very positive and receptive, and asked me the same. We talked for a couple minutes, then I said "You seem really nice. Would you be interested in having coffee with me sometime?" and he pretty quickly said, "Ahh I actually have a girlfriend." I was like "Ahhh ok thats cool" and he said, "But thank you. And you seem really nice, and maybe I'll see you around now that I know you work at ____". I told him sure, and to come by if he ever needs anything at the store I work at. Said have a good day, and left. So in the end I have no regrets. I put myself out there and did something I've never done before. And with a different guy that might have led to a great date. I would definitely do it again and I probably will in the future. 3
Mallow Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 It's great that you took the initiative and went out of your comfort zone. I personally asked out all my previous boyfriends. Men appreciate a woman who has confidence and goes for what she wants.
Author DontWorryBHappy Posted June 26, 2012 Author Posted June 26, 2012 Yep, it's true. I've realized that the thought of someone looking at me in the face and rejecting me really isn't so bad. You just walk away and move on. Where there's risk, there's reward. And sometimes it takes several falls until you succeed.
jobaba Posted June 26, 2012 Posted June 26, 2012 Yep, it's true. I've realized that the thought of someone looking at me in the face and rejecting me really isn't so bad. You just walk away and move on. Where there's risk, there's reward. And sometimes it takes several falls until you succeed. Lol. Getting turned down by someone that is with someone doesn't count as a rejection. Welcome to my world. Good job.
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