skylinesunrise Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 My ex-bf and I were friends since 2004. I was 18, he was 15. We got to know each other as friends, and we got closer. Over the next 4 years, we became very close, and although we were both in our own separate relationships, he said he always felt like I was a girl he could talk to openly and share things with without holding back. In fact, I was the ONLY person he could do that with. He is very closed emotionally, and even friends with him for many years describe him as “emotionless” We got together in June 2008. In 2009, we both started full time jobs. I was 23, he was 20. Our relationship has always been good. We rarely fought, we were loving to each other. Then in july 2010, he told me he was losing feelings. we talked it over and decided we owe each other the chance to try and change things. So we decided to work on it. He's in the military, in Oct that year he left for a 6 week training. When he got back, everything was great, he had bought me so many presents from the states! including gucci sunglasses and a coach wallet. That december we took a road trip together and it was good. In Feb 2011, he said he needed space. 2 weeks later he calls me and asks me to come over, and our relationship continued. Finally in July last year, he broke it off with me. Saying he doesn't know if what we have here is love, he doesn't even know what love is, he needs to find himself. I let him go, and started no contact right away. During this time, he started seeing someone new. Sometime in September, he calls me up for a drink, just to see how I am and catch up. He has never attempted to keep in contact with any of his other ex-girlfriends. He had 4 before me, before he was 19. In october, he tells me he wants me back. He said he realizes what he had. He said he's thinking more now, and that his returning is not a touch and go thing. But i made the mistake of taking him back without a commitment from him. So from Oct last year till Feb this year, we have been together, but it was on a "go with the flow" basis, to see if he can sort through his issues. In Feb, he said he can't do this anymore, he hates himself for being a selfish bastard, he needs to go find himself. We talked, and I agreed that he needs to go do that, because I don't want to be with someone who is forcing himself to be with me. He told me to remember that if he goes and does this, he may not come back to me, i said i know, and that was that. 12 days later he calls and asked to come over. and he did. we talked, and i told him i cannot keep doing this, i am getting tired. he said he knows, but he just needed some space. things were good again. and now, June this year, he has broken up with me again, citing the same issues. He needs to find himself, he feels like he's forcing himself, he doesn't know what love is. He also told his best friend that he's got this feeling of looking for something better. Perhaps exciting. Or new. He is well aware that I love him more than anyone else could love him, and I guess that is the reason why he keeps coming back and trying again, thinking things will be different this time. But his feeling of restlessness ALWAYS comes back. i believe he is like this because he is young, 23, and perhaps has not seen enough or dated around enough to be ready for a commitment to me. After 4 years together, on and off, perhaps he feels the next step would be engagement and marriage and he is just not ready for that. I need your opinion. 1. Do you think he will be back again? 2. Is it possible that he does love me and just does not realize it because he is confused as to what it is? 3. Can a guy change his mind with time? If based on how he feels now, he says he sees no future for us? 4. After going out and seeing all there is out there, and if we had a loving relationship, will he be back? The break ups always blind side me. Days before the break up he will be the same loving person. I NEVER felt like he was forcing himself. He might not have been able to say "i love you" but his actions were always loving actions. Pls help me get inside his mind, and possibly tell me what I can do..
Svet74 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I think he loves you.. but he wants both worlds. You and everything else. like date you one day and be single the next. I had the same problem
Author skylinesunrise Posted June 25, 2012 Author Posted June 25, 2012 I think he loves you.. but he wants both worlds. You and everything else. like date you one day and be single the next. I had the same problem So how did you deal with it? what has happened with your relationship with him?
Svet74 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 well even though he broke up with me. He was never able to just let me go same story over and over. wants me in his life but no comittment. we were on and off with communication and a year and a half later, nothing changed. still hearbroken, depressed, sad you name it. I have my good days and bad, I love where i live, I moved here to start and new life and met him. And now i hate it, still love the area but too many memories. So im considering moving when my lease is up and i guess disappear out of his life once and for all. He still has a chance till nov lol but i doubt he will do anything about it
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