oaks Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I am thinking that perhaps men are being told that having money is hugely attractive to women and they are just trying to put their best foot forward. Well, that's what I read every day on here (so it must be true)! (but if "i'm loaded" is his best foot then that doesn't speak well of the rest of him.) Maybe he knows that it's attractive to enough women that it's worth mentioning early on. You weren't attracted by it; his loss. Or maybe it's a cunning bluff to see if your eyes light up like a gold digger.
Algermas Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I truly don't care for it. I would take a genuine connection any day. But you see that's not a problem, for every girl that doesn't care there are dozens who will spread their legs after seeing you drive a car that costs more than her dad makes in 5 years. Being built like a Greek god isn't a 100% surefire way to get laid but again, for every one girl who isn't impressed there are many who will gladly service you.
RedRobin Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 On threads like this one, I love to post one of my favorite quotes... from Emerson "Self-Reliance"... I suppose no man can violate his nature. All the sallies of his will are rounded in by the law of his being, as the inequalities of Andes and Himmaleh are insignificant in the curve of the sphere. Nor does it matter how you gauge and try him. A character is like an acrostic or Alexandrian stanza; — read it forward, backward, or across, it still spells the same thing. In this pleasing, contrite wood-life which God allows me, let me record day by day my honest thought without prospect or retrospect, and, I cannot doubt, it will be found symmetrical, though I mean it not, and see it not. My book should smell of pines and resound with the hum of insects. The swallow over my window should interweave that thread or straw he carries in his bill into my web also. We pass for what we are. Character teaches above our wills. Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. There will be an agreement in whatever variety of actions, so they be each honest and natural in their hour. For of one will, the actions will be harmonious, however unlike they seem. These varieties are lost sight of at a little distance, at a little height of thought. One tendency unites them all. The voyage of the best ship is a zigzag line of a hundred tacks. See the line from a sufficient distance, and it straightens itself to the average tendency. Your genuine action will explain itself, and will explain your other genuine actions. Your conformity explains nothing. Act singly, and what you have already done singly will justify you now. Greatness appeals to the future. If I can be firm enough to-day to do right, and scorn eyes, I must have done so much right before as to defend me now. Be it how it will, do right now. Always scorn appearances, and you always may. The force of character is cumulative.
stillafool Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 could be a very rich guy is like a very pretty gal. both want to show their best features. why should either hide them when they are desirable to most of the opposite sex? Yes, but showing off those qualties makes one rather common. Nothing is more beautiful than a beautiful girl who doesn't act like she knows she is beautiful. I feel the same way about a person with wealth who doesn't flaunt it or never talks about it. 2
2sunny Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 It depends. I don't get impressed when people "lead" with what they own - their possessions. How did they "earn it"? What kind of charitable work do they DO to share with those "less fortunate"? If they throw it out there to brag or impress - I don't dig it. If they aren't helping others - I don't dig it. I've had tons of money and I've been poor. The money and "things" didn't make me happier - just more in debt. Just more guarded about who my real friends might be. I enjoy a wealthy person more when they don't "show it" readily. What makes them brag and show it? EGO! Something I don't enjoy either - a big ego on a man. It could also be insecurity - which I find a turn off as well.
Els Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Being a braggart, for any reason at all, turns me off. It doesn't really matter what he's bragging about, be it money, achievements, or a 9-inch schlong, it just irks me massively when I encounter such people. There is a huge difference between bragging and just being confident about your strengths, and most people who aren't total narcissists or social pariahs are able to distinguish reasonably well between the two.
carhill Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Would you discount a man right away for bragging like that? In male-male relations, it's quite normal and expected to compete to see who's 'top dog'. That's how men relate to each other, generally. Modesty and humility are generally not marked features of men who achieve wealth, though they do have circumstantial play. In the dating realm, I can see why you might/do consider such a turn-off. They're presuming your interest, both in them and the expressions of their wealth which, in your case, runs contrary to your truth. So, a miss. For another woman, it could be stimulating and attractive. I've interacted with only a small sample of wealthy women and found them to generally be very modest and unassuming, discussing their wealth only circumstantially rather than purposefully. It was only over a long period of time the realities were revealed, generally after trust and rapport was developed. While I think men could take some lessons away from this behavior, I doubt such will occur anytime soon. Men are generally pragmatic and, apparently, bragging about wealth is working for them, though not with you specifically. 1
FitChick Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 for every girl that doesn't care there are dozens who will spread their legs after seeing you drive a car that costs more than her dad makes in 5 years. Being built like a Greek god isn't a 100% surefire way to get laid but again, for every one girl who isn't impressed there are many who will gladly service you. The funny bit is that the young woman who is banging the rich, unattractive man, who is supporting her, buying expensive gifts, taking her on trips, has no qualms about banging the hot Greek god on the side. Some rich men are fine with that because they are only looking for arm candy anyway. To each their own. 3
FitChick Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I've interacted with only a small sample of wealthy women and found them to generally be very modest and unassuming, discussing their wealth only circumstantially rather than purposefully. That's been my experience with men who are well off. I am turned off by men who list possessions on their profiles. It makes me wonder if that is all they have to offer or if their name is Algermas . As for people "repulsed" by wealthy people, who do you think gives the most money to charity?
carhill Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 That's been my experience with men who are well off. I am turned off by men who list possessions on their profiles. My best example is a line my best friend used on one of my jobs when I showed up after he did (he was working for free)....'The boss is here. Better get to work'. This underscores his humility and unassuming nature, but was also a typical friendly dig at his best friend for being late . When I offer to pay him/get something for him, it's 'what do I need more money for?; I've got enough'. That's about it. It occurred to me that perhaps the OP should quantify what 'wealthy' means to her, as it is a term with many different qualities and quantities attached. What I might consider wealthy (my examples range from 10MM to 50MM net worth) she might consider 'doing OK', or other. She did say 'very rich', so perhaps we're talking about more famous rich people in the category of Bill Gates or Richard Branson, though I doubt, should those guys be single, they'd be posting their assets on a dating site. Most of the guys I know in the range I indicated rarely use the internet, and then only to communicate with employees, customers and vendors. They find dating sites and forums like LS to be 'curious' and relatively non-productive, or so they've said (I've asked). Different strokes....
Woggle Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I don't think wealth is an indicator of wealth but I pulled myself out of poverty to be where I am now almost 100% on my own and damn right I am proud of that. I have huge respect for self made people.
SarahRose Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Also I've never met a woman that bragged about her wealth like a man...If not tried to be conservative about it or speak casually about it as If it wasn't a chip to hold...I can't even come close to saying the same thing for men that have it...they'll exploit it to the fullest extent and it will be the first thing that comes out of their mouths. Probably not, women are more subtle about things. Like lots of men gawk and leer at attractive women, but women look but are much more subtle about it. And yes he is playing his cards but i imagine she is too with clothes and makeup accenting her physical attributes.
SarahRose Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I don't think wealth is an indicator of wealth but I pulled myself out of poverty to be where I am now almost 100% on my own and damn right I am proud of that. I have huge respect for self made people. Exactly, I do too. i came from a very modest background, put myself through school and worked hard. you should be proud of what you have done.
SarahRose Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 My best example is a line my best friend used on one of my jobs when I showed up after he did (he was working for free)....'The boss is here. Better get to work'. This underscores his humility and unassuming nature, but was also a typical friendly dig at his best friend for being late . When I offer to pay him/get something for him, it's 'what do I need more money for?; I've got enough'. That's about it. It occurred to me that perhaps the OP should quantify what 'wealthy' means to her, as it is a term with many different qualities and quantities attached. What I might consider wealthy (my examples range from 10MM to 50MM net worth) she might consider 'doing OK', or other. She did say 'very rich', so perhaps we're talking about more famous rich people in the category of Bill Gates or Richard Branson, though I doubt, should those guys be single, they'd be posting their assets on a dating site. Most of the guys I know in the range I indicated rarely use the internet, and then only to communicate with employees, customers and vendors. They find dating sites and forums like LS to be 'curious' and relatively non-productive, or so they've said (I've asked). Different strokes.... you are right there are different levels of wealth. she is probably talking about a modestly wealthy guy not a bill gates or oprah wealth. heck you can be king of the trailer park with a new double wide
SarahRose Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I find very wealthy anyone a bit repulsive. I'm suppose to become unaware of children who, no matter how bright they are, will not see the same opportunities to a better standard of life than the impoverished conditions they live in exist less than an hours drive away from wherever your over indulged ass is currently sitting? And I know they know those kids are there too and yet there they sit bragging....... And I'm suppose to be impressed?! likewise we feel the same
SarahRose Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 As for people "repulsed" by wealthy people, who do you think gives the most money to charity? exactly im a big Kiva fan. how many here have actually created a job for someone else? how many people here have hired help?
TheFinalWord Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) I have noticed that when I meet a rich man, he always feels like he needs to tell me exactly how rich he is during our first conversation. I am talking about men who tell you that they have a house in Spain and France, that they own a big yacht or similar. It comes across as weird and is actually a turn off. For one, need to brag is unattractive and two, I never cared much for money. Would you discount a man right away for bragging like that? I am thinking that perhaps men are being told that having money is hugely attractive to women and they are just trying to put their best foot forward. Well I think you are more down to earth, but a lot of men and women are not. People can be really vain and stuff like a guy flashing money around can make a woman see green. I dated a woman whose parents were very wealthy. They were always talking about how they paid cash for a house, donated to this cause and that, only bought the best jewelry, wouldn't eat at certain places b/c it wasn't fine dining, only wore certain brands of clothing, yatta, yatta, yatta. Personally, I could care less; not impressed. I have also met people who were very rich and were able to discuss their life without constantly interjecting how much money they had. It's one thing to discuss things you like, it's another when someone has an air of superiority about them. Or perhaps in this case, look at how great I am! The me monster as Brian Regan puts it Brian Regan - Dinner Party. - YouTube Edited June 25, 2012 by TheFinalWord
El Brujo Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I am thinking that perhaps men are being told that having money is hugely attractive to women and they are just trying to put their best foot forward. Maybe some of these guys started out poor. Now that they're rich, they think the world is their toy. Hell, that's how I'd be, if I was rich. I'd think I was John f'ing Gotti.
thatone Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 eh, i've been poor and well off. i'm not warren buffet but i'm in the top 5% of people in the US, income/net worth wise. to be honest i'm not much different than i was when i was a 20 something year old corporate hack like everyone else. i have a nicer house, a nicer car, nicer suits that rarely get worn since i'm not single anymore and i don't have an office to go to, and some more expensive hobbies, that's about it. same friends, same personality, i just get out of a nicer car with tshirt, shorts, and sandals on instead of a honda with tshirt, shorts, and sandals on.
yongyong Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 'I never cared much for money' I am sure you meant, yeah I still care but show it off in a subtle way.
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