Necris Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I'm a guy and I've been single all my life, never had a girlfriend/relationship, a virgin, and always rejected as women aren't interested in me and from the looks of it my situation isn't changing anytime soon as the chance of me finding someone seems grim. Maybe I'm not meant to have a romantic relationship instead a life alone maybe for me (though it would help if I were an intellectual genius that way I feel like I gave up something for something else). At first this sounds depressing but I've been thinking maybe this is a blessing in disguise as I don't have to worry about the things people in relationships worry about, no crazy added drama, more money in my pocket to spend on whatever, more time to myself, no extra responsibilities, just me. So I created this singleness appreciation thread. What are some of the joys of being single that you can think of? Also When I say being single in addition to not being in any form of romantic relationship, true singleness means no sex, no friends with benefits, just you and yourself. 4
USMCHokie Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I had so much discretionary money before I started dating...so my vote for top benny of being single is that I'm less poor... I honestly don't live my life much differently whether I'm single or dating...
MooBear Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 What I enjoyed about being single was only cleaning up after myself, more disposable money, eating chips in bed and being able to go weeks without shaving my legs haha
Silly_Girl Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I enjoy the social life of being single, being able to pop and see friends of the back of a last-minute text message because you haven't planned out large chunks of your free time already. I like sprawling on the sofa and playing pointless online word games and not feeling like I'm neglecting anyone. I like playing music super-loud when in the shower, then singing even louder! I like using all of the bed when I need a cool-spot. I like not having to cook and having late suppers or lazy 'student food' guilt-free. 1
DuchessKaye Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Not having to spend more than 5,000 dollars quarterly for exclusive getaways. Not having someone to watch my carbs intake. Gawd, I can now enjoy eating my favorite food! SWEETS! Ice cream, cakes and chocolates are now everywhere in my house. And also, the freedom to get high without asking for anyone's permission
Algermas Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Exclusive control over your finances, no drama, no unwanted children, only having to consider yourself when making decisions, no drama, no drama, vast amount of extra cash.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I actually love being single I can go shopping and buy clothes without the guilt trips! I can have flings with any guys I want! I can stay up till 5am and eat ice cream while posting on LS! If after work, I feel I want to see a late night horror movie at the cinema, I can go without having to report to anyone! I can keep my phone on silent while I work and not have 999 messages asking me what am I doing! The bed. It's all mine! 1
Joaquin Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Being able to cheerfully judge other people who are in messed up relationships. 1
Ross MwcFan Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 No drama, no risk of STD's, no risk of an unwanted pregancy, being able to do whatever you want when you want, and having more money.
Author Necris Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 I can have flings with any guys I want! Are you truly single then?
ThaWholigan Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 My joys of being single will likely be the same as when I'm not. Hence, I'm always joyful
carhill Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 What are some of the joys of being single that you can think of? Enjoying quality Sunday time with a loyal companion so he won't miss me too much while I'm gone for a week visiting my best friend who nearly gave up his thumb to a saw on one of my jobs and who is traveling around the country right now, instead of generally obligatory Sunday shopping or socializing with my exW. That kinda sums it up for me.
Els Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 (edited) OP, a male friend of mine once said he prefers being single because it means that you genuinely have no commitments. It doesn't apply to NSAs and casual dating, but LTRs, however you slice them, will often require some sort of compromise and sacrifice on both partners' ends, at some point. For instance, you get the job offer of your life in another country, but you don't know if you will ever come back and you have a gf of 5 years. What do you do? Or what if you just feel like backpacking around the world for a couple of years and she can't/doesn't want to? Or you want to adopt a dog and she's horribly allergic? Or.. well, plenty of other examples, but the point is that relationships tend to involve compromise on certain essential things to survive. Not ever needing to compromise is probably a huge perk of being single. Not having someone to watch my carbs intake. Gawd, I can now enjoy eating my favorite food! SWEETS! Ice cream, cakes and chocolates are now everywhere in my house. I gotta admit, Kaye, this bugs me to no end everytime I read it. Such a controlling jerk. There was actually a case in Singapore where a woman got so mad at her bf for perpetually doing this that she flew at him violently and, I think, injured his manhood pretty badly. NOT that I encourage that at all, but my bf's sage comment of 'Natural selection' when he read it seemed very apt in that case. Edited June 24, 2012 by Elswyth 1
TheFinalWord Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) I actually love being single I can go shopping and buy clothes without the guilt trips! I can have flings with any guys I want! I can stay up till 5am and eat ice cream while posting on LS! If after work, I feel I want to see a late night horror movie at the cinema, I can go without having to report to anyone! I can keep my phone on silent while I work and not have 999 messages asking me what am I doing! The bed. It's all mine! Except for the fling, you can do all of those things in a relationship...my parents do all of those and they've been married 35 years! But I agree if you are an independent person (I am too) and you are smothered by someone it can be quite exhilarating to have freedom again! I know, my ex was like that. I think I stayed up for like 3 days in a row. It was like when I first moved out of my parents' all over again A good relationship should bring more freedom and more power into your life to accomplish your vision for your life, IMHO. Anyway, not trying to pick on you ES. You're a good woman (and I miss the cat pics! ). For me, well I agree, there is a major reason for being single. In my faith, the apostle Paul issues a direct command not to waste singleness. It's a unique time in life to focus on your personal growth. I am spending this time on personal development, getting my life on the track and setting myself up to accomplish my purpose in life, working through any emotional or spiritual issues I have Making it so that when I do find a wife, I have a clear picture of what our marriage will accomplish and ensuring I don't bring any emotional baggage! Don't waste singleness or see it as a burden. Do something with it! I see so many people on LS so desperate for a relationship that they are literally depressed that they are not in one; to the point they are jaded and bitter and have little self-esteem. Bitterness, low self-esteem, finding your identity in someone else, are not a positive qualities to bring into a relationship. If you're doing nothing else with your singleness, I would encourage regular reflection. Set goals for yourself in five areas: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social. What are you goals in those areas and how are you working towards accomplishing them? Keep a little journal on your computer or Ipad. It is really cool to see goals getting accomplished! Edited June 27, 2012 by TheFinalWord
mortensorchid Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Good things: Not having to answer to anyone or anything, not having to share physical space with someone else, not having to put up with someone else's weird habits and quirks. Unfortunately, the longer you are flying solo, the harder it is to be adaptable to others.
2.50 a gallon Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I had a regular 8 hour job, plus was spending many hours in libraries researching and writing historical articles. If I was on a hot streak I could work all through the night. I was really pumping them out at that time. I could do anything I liked, when ever I liked and with whom ever I liked Beside my bed I had a small 2 drawer dresser. In order to show some semblence of cleanliness, the bottom drawer was my depository for empty beer cans, doritos and chip bags, apple cores, banana peels Winter football season, I spent many a Sunday morning, in a hot bath, with a pitcher of margaritas, or rum & coke, some snacks, a good nasty smelling cigar, while I read the Sunday funnies and watched my team. A lady friend as a joke gave me some kids bubble bath, no joke that made it all the better. It just made it harder for me to find my plastic sail boat All good things come to an end and my single days came crashing down with a single kiss. I was so into living alone, it took us almost a decade before I could except us living together. We split expenses and so by living together we both now have more spending money. She does all of my laundry and most of the house cleaning, in exchange she has named her dish washer 2.50 a gallon. Looking back sometimes I wish I had never given up the single life, but on the other hand, I am now retired and life is great having my in house eye candy. I couldn't be happier
Sugarkane Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 No inlaws (aka outlaws!) / boyfriends weird family. My exes sister was always distant abs rude to me for no reason at all. I can buy as many shoes and high end bags I want. Theres no one telling me that's a waste of money ( I have rare collectors bags).
Meeks7 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Honestly, when I was single I secretly enjoyed it. In fact, I wanted a GF but I also wanted my freedom. I also know I wasn't quite ready for a (serious) relationship then, so yeah. I told all my friends how I wanted a GF but deep down I was content living the single life. I think that may be the case for many single people today. Sure part of them wants a mate, but the other part of them is WAAAAY TOO comfortable living just for themselves and not having to worry/account for an intimate partner, especially one who will be all up in "yo bizness" 1
Negative Nancy Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 (edited) the "joys" of being single is just something people spout out of frustration that they haven't found the right partner yet. yeah, being single beats being with the wrong partner, but once you've found your match, I doubt you'd want to go back to singlehood. anyone in a relationship who wants to argue with me is challenged to dump their partner right here, right now Edited June 27, 2012 by Negative Nancy
El Brujo Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 Being single is only part of the treat. The REAL icing on the cake is not having any close family to make me miserable. Much as I miss my dear old mother, I don't miss her whining about wanting some grandkids and then making that pitiful face to try to make me feel sorry for her. But yeah, it's a treat to pretty much be able to do what I want, when I want, and not have someone trying to guilt me about it... Candy for breakfast? Yeah!!! Up at 3 in the morning, fooling with my ham radios? Of course! Paint the inside of my room sky blue? Been there, done it, am happy with it! Sorry if I don't feel guilt... maybe I'm psychotic or something. But then, why punch a meal ticket full of holes? Every day, I'm getting my jollies knowing some b**** out there isn't getting one damn crumb of it.
grkBoy Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I'm a guy and I've been single all my life, never had a girlfriend/relationship, a virgin, and always rejected as women aren't interested in me and from the looks of it my situation isn't changing anytime soon as the chance of me finding someone seems grim. Maybe I'm not meant to have a romantic relationship instead a life alone maybe for me (though it would help if I were an intellectual genius that way I feel like I gave up something for something else). At first this sounds depressing but I've been thinking maybe this is a blessing in disguise as I don't have to worry about the things people in relationships worry about, no crazy added drama, more money in my pocket to spend on whatever, more time to myself, no extra responsibilities, just me. So I created this singleness appreciation thread. What are some of the joys of being single that you can think of? Also When I say being single in addition to not being in any form of romantic relationship, true singleness means no sex, no friends with benefits, just you and yourself. When I gave up on dating years before meeting my GF, I actually felt liberated. No more pressure to "find someone". No worry about being betrayed or heartbroken. No divorce or screaming brats to deal with. I think the secret to being alone is to work to live a full life. If you work, come home, do nothing, then you waste it. I tell the "alone" people to travel, do things, take up hobbies, fulfill yourself emotionally through other means. 3
2.50 a gallon Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 negative nancy I did exactly that 20 years ago, she was a good twelve years younger then me, mensa intelligence, Berkley degrees in math and chemistry, followed by a third degree from another school, San Jose I believe in computer science. When I met her she looked, dressed and acted like a geek. It was me who told her how hot she really was, and let her hair grow below her shoulder, changed her fashion, and began using make up, she was surprised to see she was a knockout. She was still a couple of years shy of turning 30, and though not a virgin had had only 3 sexual partners a couple of times, all had been bad. So her C sized breasts were still rock solid, she was an avid hiker with great legs and a rock hard bubble butt. Once she learned to like sex she was awesome. Even though I was closer in age to her father, she wanted us to get married as she wanted to have my kids. I was into my 40's and enjoyed my single life, and no longer saw kids as a wanna have in my life. Other than that we got along great, I am into history, and studied archeology and paleontology in college and kept up with the latest findings. She on the other hand had also had minor in physics, which gave her some great insight into nuclear physics and astronomy, and between the two of us we could spend whole weekends talking about the latest discoveries and explaining to the other what they met. Great times But alas she kept pushing for marriage, and it was not that I didn't love her, as I very much did, but I just didn't want to give up my single life to raise a family Oh and I forgot to add, daddy was a millionaire many hundreds of times over, and her personal value was a little more than 2 million. We both liked hiking, the problem was I liked to go deep into the forest while she preferred the beach and spending the night in bed and breakfast. She kept making offers of all expenses paid trips, to the Bahamas, the Caribbean and Hawaii, which I always turned down The final step was the grand trip to tahiti, with scuba diving, the whole nine yards. She came so close to winning me over, I packed up and moved a thousand miles back to my home town.
Woggle Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 the "joys" of being single is just something people spout out of frustration that they haven't found the right partner yet. yeah, being single beats being with the wrong partner, but once you've found your match, I doubt you'd want to go back to singlehood. anyone in a relationship who wants to argue with me is challenged to dump their partner right here, right now This is true but since good partners are so rare might as well enjoy singlehood unless you get lucky.
fortyninethousand322 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 I get to do what I want when I want. No compromising, no having to text anyone sweet nothings, no sweaty palms or having to worry if I'm walking weird. I can play ball for a few hours and not have to take a shower afterwards. I caught up on Game of Thrones. And I can watch every single Orioles game.
Recommended Posts