What should I say?

[Whatto]

My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago. I've been good in keeping to not contacting her. We work at the same Job and I saw her like 15 days after she broke up with me. We talked and it went well. She said "it was good seeing you". I'm in the position now where I can and am willing to move on. But I still want to see if this relationship could really work out. I want to ask her to meet up sometime and I just don't know how to go about it really. I feel like being straight forward would be the best but for some reason I don't really want to call her up and just say "I was just wondering if you'd like to meet up" I don't know that it work out well or have a high possibility of her saying yes. What should i say to start it off? I know I would ask her how she's been but I want to have a little bit of a conversation before asking her to meet up.............also when she broke up with me she blocked me on Facebook. Now just today I discovered that she unblocked me. Would you say that is a good sign? I mean that means that she's thinking about me right? Cause she had to go in on purpose and unblock me. This has just been making me wonder all day long. It might not really mean much that she unblocked me but it has to be a good sign right?

[Whatto]

Anyone? Have any advice at all?

[Ruby65]

Unfortunately, I wouldn't read too much into her unblocking you.

 

It could simply be a sign of indifference. I've blocked people and then after a while simply stopped caring about whether they were blocked or not -- at that point having them blocked seems silly and childish so I'd unblock them.

 

She's the one who ended the relationship and every day she's making the choice not to contact you.

 

That's one thing that helps me maintain NC : remember that every day, your ex is CHOOSING not to have a relationship with you!

 

I wouldn't make any attempts to contact her or start anything. If a reconciliation is going to happen, it's got to come from her, don't you think?

 

IF her unblocking means she's having second thoughts, then don't worry -- she's going to contact you and tell you she's having second thoughts and wants to get back together!

 

If she doesn't tell you this..... everything else she says and does is just breadcrumbs.

[AlexanderJames]

Like ruby said I wouldn't think into the Facebook deal too much. You'll just end up going in circles not knowing what's going on. Chances are she's just checking up on you. Of course she's still thinking of you but that doesn't necessarily mean in the way you would hope.

 

I know what your thinking. I was ready to move on with an ex but needed to find out for good if we were over because there was confusing feelings lingering around in both of us. If you decide to meet face to face to find out then I suggest do it. But be prepared for the worst. Because chances are you are going to here lots of things you don't want to. It will probably send you backwards and you'll feel different feelings of hurt all over again.

 

But hey sometimes we need to see things as an absolute before we can accept it. It hurt me a lot a first looking my ex in the eye and hearing there was no way we were going back but it left me with no more questions, no more what ifs. All I was left to deal with was me myself and I. So I started NC and have stuck at it and I've never felt better

 

Sometimes we need to take a beating before we start stumbling off in the right direction

 

Best of luck mate.

[saving-me-slowly]

Good advice above.

Yes it's tough, but you have to remember - if she broke up with you, she knows how to get in touch with you if she wants to. She has a choice, and she's choosing not to. It's possible that the facebook thing could be her small subtle bait, but don't take it! She's an adult - if she wanted to get in touch/get back with you let HER work out how to do that herself.

[Whatto]

Thanks for the advice. I really do understand the whole she broke up with me and she should choose to contact me. I get that and it wakes total sense. But I agree with Alexander James more. I'm really in the position where I could move on but still have these lingering feelings and questions of "what if" I'm not focusing on the facebook thing I just thought it might be a good sign. I just feel like what if I don't contact her or meet up with her and it could have totally worked out and been great. I do know that chances are it might not work but you never know it could that's my main feeling of "what if" right now. So I am willing to get hurt again just to make absolutely sure that it wouldn't work. Then I would have no questions and be able to move on. I just want to call her up and ask to meet. If she says no then I will know then and not have to meet up with her. But if she says yes...I'll be happy but don't get me wrong I wouldn't get my hopes up I would just see how it goes and go from there. I am really nervous though because I really do just want to see her and talk about things and don't want her to say no to just meeting up. How should I go about asking her to meet.

[Whatto]

What should I do?

[Ruby65]

What should I do?

 

Only YOU can make the decision of whether to call her or not.

 

If you decide you really need to contact her one last time before you can move on, then call her up and ask to meet, as you said in your earlier post.

 

Whatever you decide, everyone here is ready to support you.

[barese1]

As Ruby said you're the only one who can decide if you should call her or not. I think closure is important but I would bet quite highly it won't go the way you hope.

 

As has been said, the whole facebook unblocking could just be a sign that she's over it. I unblocked my first ex a few weeks ago, simply because I didn't care anymore, not for any other reason.

 

Just be prepared for the worst. I mean really prepared. I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to be friends at this point. You may have to hear lots of things that will set you back but at the same time you need to kill that hope.

 

Post here whenever you need support.