skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I've been mainly posting in the breakup section of the forum as I have recently been dumped 3 1/2 weeks ago. However, I'm starting to wonder what else may be out there. I can't help but feel like I need to hurry up and find a guy to settle down with as I'm going to be 30 very soon and I always wanted children. Do you guys think its harder to date as we get older? I'm kinda anal about certain qualities as I would like a guy who is educated (more than their bachelors), driven, want the same outlook in life.. someone who is christian. what do you guys think the chances of finding all that in their 30's is? All my friends are married and I just feel like my time will never come.
Sid6.7 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I can't help but feel like I need to hurry up and find a guy to settle down with as I'm going to be 30 very soon and I always wanted children. This is one of the many reasons why men should always, always wear condoms when dating. Especially when they are starting to get desperate and that biological clock is ticking. I am so glad you were honest in your post. Many women can be deceiving when dating, due to the very reason you stated. They want kids at any price. Truth be told, at your age you are rapidly approaching your expiration date in regards to catching the quality Man you may seek, especially if you want kids. When listing the qualifications you provided and seek in the dating world you are going to have to auction yourself off to the highest bidder in the dating pool. This isn't a big secret, females do it all the time. Good luck with the kids.
USMCHokie Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 what do you guys think the chances of finding all that in their 30's is? Dating in your 30's is absolutely no different as long as you remain more desirable as the woman in their 20's.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 This is one of the many reasons why men should always, always wear condoms when dating. Truth be told, at your age you are rapidly approaching your expiration date in regards to catching the quality Man you may seek, especially if you want kids. You are so kind.
CarrieT Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I had much more quality dating in my late 30s and again in my late 40s than I did in my 20s But I never wanted children...
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Would you rather me lie to you? There are many ways to say the same thing. It'd be nice to sugar coat the damn medicine. Thanks for your input.
mario_C Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 This is one of the many reasons why men should always, always wear condoms when dating. Especially when they are starting to get desperate and that biological clock is ticking. I am so glad you were honest in your post. Many women can be deceiving when dating, due to the very reason you stated. They want kids at any price. Truth be told, at your age you are rapidly approaching your expiration date in regards to catching the quality Man you may seek, especially if you want kids. When listing the qualifications you provided and seek in the dating world you are going to have to auction yourself off to the highest bidder in the dating pool. This isn't a big secret, females do it all the time. Good luck with the kids. I'm sorry, 29 and she has an "expiration date"? Jesus, get her a walker with the tennis balls on the feet in front and a knit sweater, she's 29! That is really offensive. So we're now old news at age 29? Don't get me started on the "auction yourself off to the highest bidder" comment. But thanks for pointing out that using condoms means you prefer not to have children and/or diseases, that's good to know. *sigh* Sorry. Moving on... OP, it's true that dating as you go along in life gets tougher - I guess people's standards go up and up over time. If your goal is to start a family, the Christian thing (putting aside my views on that topic) can work to your advantage. You're not going for the hot and sexy urban set who would run away from such a topic. My take, what do I know? Good luck! 1
USMCHokie Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 There are many ways to say the same thing. It'd be nice to sugar coat the damn medicine. Thanks for your input. You should probably caveat that in your original post if that's the case... For example: what do you guys think the chances of finding all that in their 30's is? All my friends are married and I just feel like my time will never come. I just really need you all to blow some sunshine up my ass. Thanks.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 You should probably caveat that in your original post if that's the case... For example: hahahaha.. ur right. I should've put that.
Sid6.7 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 There are many ways to say the same thing. It'd be nice to sugar coat the damn medicine. Thanks for your input. I don't sugar coat things and I will never be politically correct. Now you don't have to sift through the responses that just want to stroke your ego into a false sense of security. The prescription wont be easy and it's a hard pill to swallow. Hell, if it were easy everyone could easily do it and wouldn't need to post topics like this.
USMCHokie Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 hahahaha.. ur right. I should've put that. But seriously, what I said earlier is it in a nutshell. Men in their 30's will "target" women in their 20's, simply because they can, and unfortunately, it is a competition out there. You have to be just as physically attractive as the women in their 20's, if not more so, and you have to have your life together as far as financially, education, career, etc. It's an ugly truth, but ~30 appears to be the magic arbitrary age when men and women converge on the dating chart, and the men's line starts tracking upward while the women's line starts tracking downward...
henderson14 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 But seriously, what I said earlier is it in a nutshell. Men in their 30's will "target" women in their 20's, simply because they can, and unfortunately, it is a competition out there. You have to be just as physically attractive as the women in their 20's, if not more so, and you have to have your life together as far as financially, education, career, etc. It's an ugly truth, but ~30 appears to be the magic arbitrary age when men and women converge on the dating chart, and the men's line starts tracking upward while the women's line starts tracking downward... I agree, but i actually think that making too much or being too successful can hurt women sometimes because it can be intimidating for men.
mortensorchid Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I kind of remember feeling that way when I was 29, that I was sort of a loser for not settling down. However, that came from former friends of mine who put pressure on others to also get married and/or have children ASAP. Then there are the former boyfriends who also pushed me away only to marry the next one that came along. And many of them are divorced now because they rushed into it, married the wrong person and ended up with a nightmare that they never wake up from. Don't sweat it. You would not have learned all the lessons that you have in life had you, by some twist of fate, married the last one or your high school sweetheart, or some miscellaneous person out there. And if you are alone, it's better than being with the wrong person. You also wouldn't have had a lot of the good times with the recent people either. 1
StuckAtHome Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I've been mainly posting in the breakup section of the forum as I have recently been dumped 3 1/2 weeks ago. However, I'm starting to wonder what else may be out there. I can't help but feel like I need to hurry up and find a guy to settle down with as I'm going to be 30 very soon and I always wanted children. Do you guys think its harder to date as we get older? I'm kinda anal about certain qualities as I would like a guy who is educated (more than their bachelors), driven, want the same outlook in life.. someone who is christian. what do you guys think the chances of finding all that in their 30's is? All my friends are married and I just feel like my time will never come. how educated do they need to be? is bachelors degree enough? do they have to be a religious church going christian? would jewish or buddhist be ok?
SJC2008 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I wouldn't go into panic mode, easier said than done though. Hell I'm a 30 year old man and I feel like my clock is ticking lol! I don't want to be a 40 year old 1st time father ya know? At your age most men 30-35 will try their best do date mid-late 20's so if you do date a man younger than you keep your head on a swivel. Also, there are good men your age who want nothing more to find the right person to start a family with but it's not something you can force and you just have to have your people picker fine tuned. Take things slow and don't be afrid to tell the men you meet that you do want to start a family one day. If they ghost, good! As far as education goes. I don't fault you for wanting someone successful but having a minimum requirement for a masters is OTT IMO. Eduaction has little to to with personality and morals so you may want to bump that down to a bachelors or even a successful man altogether who may not have a degree. I dated a 31 year old (shocker right, a 30 year old man dating up in age lol) and she has a degree, is very funny and witty but couln't hold a conversation to save her life so like I said education isn't everything.
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 i was so absorbed with school that times just flew by. I dated my last ex for a little over a year and believed we were going to get married- as that's what we both wanted, or so I thought. So now that I'm swung back into the dating scene I find myself wondering, am I too late? Are all the good guys taken? I consider myself a very well educated (med school) christian girl who has certain expectations in a man. I am by no means ugly and I think it is to my advantage that I look rather young for my age. Most of the men I meet are engaged or married. My friends suggest that I look at internet dating, but browsing through it a couple of weeks ago, a lot of so called "educated" guys are fat or balding. I definitely dont want to lower my standards but I guess I'm praying that my residency will treat me better.
USMCHokie Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Eduaction has little to to with personality and morals... I'm not arguing for the requirement that one holds ten graduate degrees, but I have to 100% disagree with you on this statement. The level of education, or lack thereof, reflects a great number of intangible qualities and attributes of a person...intelligence, work ethic, value on accomplishment, self-value generally, personal interests and even hobbies, etc. I could go on and on.
StuckAtHome Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 i was so absorbed with school that times just flew by. I dated my last ex for a little over a year and believed we were going to get married- as that's what we both wanted, or so I thought. So now that I'm swung back into the dating scene I find myself wondering, am I too late? Are all the good guys taken? I consider myself a very well educated (med school) christian girl who has certain expectations in a man. I am by no means ugly and I think it is to my advantage that I look rather young for my age. Most of the men I meet are engaged or married. My friends suggest that I look at internet dating, but browsing through it a couple of weeks ago, a lot of so called "educated" guys are fat or balding. I definitely dont want to lower my standards but I guess I'm praying that my residency will treat me better. fat i understand bcause you control that, but balding?
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 fat i understand bcause you control that, but balding? sorry if that sounds rather harsh. But I really dont have an attraction to balding men at least not right now at this age... *shudder*
StuckAtHome Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 sorry if that sounds rather harsh. But I really dont have an attraction to balding men at least not right now at this age... *shudder* not all the good guys are taken, but most that arent are either balding, fat, don't have graduate degrees, aren't religious enough. i'm balding at 35, kind of sort of religious, don't have a graduate degree, average weight. there's a heck of a lot more guys like me that are still single than guys who meet everything on your list.
SJC2008 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I read your threads to get a feel for what you've been gong through. You want to settle and have kids but went CRAWLING back to a man who left you in the middle of the night. Never mind that you were a couple, any man who leaves a woman in harms way is a douchebag and you'd reconcile and start a family with this one??? Also, arguing when drunk? I told you education was overrated!
Author skyisfalling Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 I read your threads to get a feel for what you've been gong through. You want to settle and have kids but went CRAWLING back to a man who left you in the middle of the night. Never mind that you were a couple, any man who leaves a woman in harms way is a douchebag and you'd reconcile and start a family with this one??? Also, arguing when drunk? I told you education was overrated! i agree with you sjc in the fact that my ex was a douchebag and yes I definitely did things that I am not proud of. However, I think you should not confuse emotional maturity with intellect. I am aware that although I may be intellectual (pursuing my passion, driven, ambitious) my emotional maturity is not quite up to par. Although I must say I definitely learned from this relationship a lot about myself and am more humbled in that matter. So yes, you can be educated and lack emotional maturity. But you should not confuse one for the other.
StuckAtHome Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 (edited) I read your threads to get a feel for what you've been gong through. You want to settle and have kids but went CRAWLING back to a man who left you in the middle of the night. Never mind that you were a couple, any man who leaves a woman in harms way is a douchebag and you'd reconcile and start a family with this one??? Also, arguing when drunk? I told you education was overrated! this is why guys just quit. it's a soap opera. she isn't the first woman to crawl back to a douchebag but won't touch a balding or overweight guy, and claims to be a christian. what gives? Edited June 24, 2012 by StuckAtHome 1
SJC2008 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 i agree with you sjc in the fact that my ex was a douchebag and yes I definitely did things that I am not proud of. However, I think you should not confuse emotional maturity with intellect. I am aware that although I may be intellectual (pursuing my passion, driven, ambitious) my emotional maturity is not quite up to par. Although I must say I definitely learned from this relationship a lot about myself and am more humbled in that matter. So yes, you can be educated and lack emotional maturity. But you should not confuse one for the other. Yeah but what is intellect? Many woman want some educated man but like I said education may make somene book smart or whatever but there are plenty of people without degrees that have great personalitys. A delivery driver in his mid 40's at my job who is high school educated can school the average joe on the political front. He keeps up with news and all that stuff so what I'm saying is braoden your horizon. You are narrowing the pool big time. He has to have at least a masters, be Chrisian and good looking. There's nothing wrong with wanting a good looking man but when you add all 3 must haves you're narrowing your pool to a small percentage. There's a show on VH1 Called Why am I still single? The lady is a famous matchmaker names Siggy Flicker. She is married to a used car salesman who is bald (I'm not saying you have to like bald men). Her point is CHEMISTRY, their chemistry is so great and they are madly in love. He is pretty good looking IMO.
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