abuse Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 hello i just got here because I rly don't know what else to do so hope you guys can help me out. So i'm currently seperated with my husband (not legally) and the reason is actually quite simple - he used to physiciallly and emotionally abuse me for over two decades. So, recently his attorney sent me a reconcialition letter detailing how he is sorry and that he is a changed man. The thing that ****** me off was the fact that he made "His Attorney" send me the letter rather than him. So I was wondering if I should send him a a letter (a quite angry one) or if i should just be quite about it. I just don't want to mess up my divorce case (once i file it) if i reply (or reply the wrong way). Because I think this might be part of his legal strategy to avoid alimony or am i just being paranoid? Thanks for taking the time and helping me out here. really appreciate it.
M30USA Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 hello i just got here because I rly don't know what else to do so hope you guys can help me out. So i'm currently seperated with my husband (not legally) and the reason is actually quite simple - he used to physiciallly and emotionally abuse me for over two decades. So, recently his attorney sent me a reconcialition letter detailing how he is sorry and that he is a changed man. The thing that ****** me off was the fact that he made "His Attorney" send me the letter rather than him. So I was wondering if I should send him a a letter (a quite angry one) or if i should just be quite about it. I just don't want to mess up my divorce case (once i file it) if i reply (or reply the wrong way). Because I think this might be part of his legal strategy to avoid alimony or am i just being paranoid? Thanks for taking the time and helping me out here. really appreciate it. The EXACT thing is going on with me and my STB ex-wife. She was arrested for domestic violence and, when we spoke the one time on phone shortly after, she refused to apologize because she said she didn't want to "incriminate" herself. It's been 4 months and still no apology. I guess it really comes down to what the letter says. It's obvious that in a situation such as yours, both parties are being defensive in the event it does wind up resulting in divorce. You are both trying to balance reasonable efforts at reconciliation with safe precautions should it fail. I guess that's his attempt. But you'd like to think that he, being the abuser, would put himself out there and make himself vulnerable if he really cared about you. But realize this: that's not in the nature of an abuser. The driving force behind abuse is a need for control. Therefore why would an abuser give up control? Maybe he wants to say just enough to keep you but without giving up any control.
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