gold26 Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 my fiance and i had a fight on the 3rd of may.. he has had a dedication on a business webpage dedicating it to his fiance "me" for about a year..he never changed that during this time we had N/C for three weeks.. i got fed up and wrote him an email explaining that i didnt want anymore stand offs.. that when he does this it makes me insecure about him sticking around.. if he wanted us to stay together he needed to tell me.. if not it was best that i knew that now..either love me or let me go.. his reply was vague it said he had come to the point where he could no longer deal with my temper and the things i allow my mouth to say.and something was not right for me to be this way. that he had been at peace but didnt know if it was from being working so hard or what it was all he knew was he was happy at the moment and intended to stay that way.he had "inner peace"... This is something he has bragged about for some time he even has a note on his page about a year ago saying his creative ability would not be possable without the inner peace he has.. thanked god for that i replied with: i appreciate you letting me know how you feel.. but remember your muuth says things too ,and things that he says that mean nothing to him can be hurtful to the one on the recieving end.. so perhaps he had a problem too..if you dont want to be with me theres nothing i can do,and i accept your decision.. i need to be with someone who does i called and spoke to his son that night and explained what had happend and brke down on the phone.. 3 days later he emailed me that his son had told him anout the call.. he simply told his son we fight too much.and that he was sorry i was hurting..he hadnt forgotten me in his prayers.... i didnt reply to this i then went to my yahoo profile which he had asked me years ago not to put a pic on and to also change my status to married .. and i posted a pic of myself with a sexy dress on and my status to no answer.. 2 days later he emails me.. I AM NO LONGER ENGAGED TO YOU..he then deleted the dedication to me from his webpage and another page he had made with dates and anniversaries. i didnt answer.. but i did remove the pic..i only wanted a reaction.. and i guess even a jealous rage was better than nothing... he logged onto yahoo messenger about 1 week later for an hour but i stayed invisable its been a month now... what he does is this.. he has a yahoo account that he never used.. he knows i have the password because i have had it for years and he used to send me pics there etc when my mailbox was too full...and he has not changed the passwords to his webpages either.. now he has a page he scanned from a book about anger causing problems when you dont think before you say things.. he put that there 3 days after we had the first fight.. now he goes in almos daily and deletes the spam mail so that emailis always in #1 spot... and after the note has been there over a year.he went to his webpage and removed the note about his creative ability not being possable without the inner peace he has... someone told me im grasping at straws but i know that once when we were having a simular problem he changed someof his page discriptions to say things that i say like "wee" instead of little etc... do you guys think he is leaving subtle hints?
Bubbles Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 In my humble opinion...he is being about a subtle as a Train Wreck! I think he has made it very obvious that he no longer wants to be with you unfortunatly. Learn and move on honey. That's all you can do. Keep your chin up.....the sun will ome out tomorrow....you'll see! Bubbles
Author gold26 Posted July 2, 2004 Author Posted July 2, 2004 bubbles, your reply is confusing.. you say he is being as subtle as a train wreck.. then you say he has made it plain he doesent want to be with me.. then why leave subtle/unsubtle messages at all? like i said.. i guess i was the one who began the no contact and i have since dissconected my cell phone so i also could say i was the one who ended it..
Bubbles Posted July 2, 2004 Posted July 2, 2004 Hey Gold26, He removed the statement that once bore commendation to you....."inner peace" thingie. He was furious after you posted yourself on Yahoo....which in my opinion (if it was done to me) would tell me that You no longer wanted to be with me. Your actions were in direct defiance of his wishes. If you had any chance at getting back together with him......you blew it on Yahoo. He was very straight forward with you and said that he doesn't like the things that come out of your mouth. He also told his son the reason that you two are not together - that speaks loudly to me. Let me explain my statement "subtle as a train wreck" If a train crashes with another train or goes off the track......it's very LOUD right? It's pretty noisy. He has just not come out with the words that i feel you need to hear "I do not wish to be with you any longer" maybe he has confrontation issues. Not everyone is good at that....agreed that you have to stop being a coward sometimes and state your case but not all people follow this. He e-mailed you and was quite plainly stating that "he is no longer engaged to you" How much clearer can you be? Sorry honey.....you are grasping at straws. If he really wanted to be with you, he would be calling you wanting to discuess things but yet he is not correct? If he really wanted to be with you he would be knocking on your door but yet his is not correct? We all know this hurts. I wish you love and happiness for the rest of your life. Bubbles
Author gold26 Posted July 2, 2004 Author Posted July 2, 2004 hmmm. i appreciate your input... one thing you seem ot to understand is about the inner peace statement.. he had put that on his page over a year ago it had nothing to do with me giving him the inner peace.. he was thanking god... then 3 weeks after he tells me he had inner peace the email that i told him fine i understood and respected..and left him alone...to me he gave me the answer that he didnt want to be with me whether he said it or not BUT,even after that he kept the note saying he dedicated his web page to his fiance "me" after idid the yahoo thing he got mad.. and told me we were nolonger engaged.. and removed themessage dedicating the page to me.. but logs into yahoomessenger looking for me... i am the only person on his buddy list so i know.... i made no contact.. none.. i also dissconected my cell phone so icant even say if hehas tried to call me or not.. dont forgot i have ignored two emails from him so he knows i am not answering emails.. then last... he goes in last week.... 3 weeks after he wrote about theengagement being off.. and now has removed his note about "his creative ability could not be possable without the inner peace he has" that is gone... im not saying we are getting back togeter or making any contact.. but i DO think he is feeling bad for telling me he had inner peace in that email he wrote... especially after his son told him he had hurt me a lot...that was the email that he sent telling me he had told the son we fight too much and that he was sorry i was hurting.. that he had notforgotten me in his prayers.. etc... im not grasping at anything.. nor do i expect anything atthis point..but i also dont think the breakup has been as easy for him as he thought...
Recommended Posts