tallydoo Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 This is a question for all who have reconciled with their ex's. I know every relationship's different, but maybe there's a general pattern or something. How did the reconciliation come about? Were there signs that they were interested again, and then you encouraged them, or did they bang down your door one day? I'm just curious--I think my ex and I might be taking baby steps, but 1) he's shy and would need encouragement (breaking up with me and knowing that he hurt me hurt him pretty badly too) and 2) I don't want to read too much into things. But I think this would be helpful if people could share the beginnings of their reconciliation stories--very few of the threads I've found on the subject (granted, I could just be missing them) share how exactly things started happening. Thanks!
todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 This is a question for all who have reconciled with their ex's. I know every relationship's different, but maybe there's a general pattern or something. How did the reconciliation come about? Were there signs that they were interested again, and then you encouraged them, or did they bang down your door one day? I'm just curious--I think my ex and I might be taking baby steps, but 1) he's shy and would need encouragement (breaking up with me and knowing that he hurt me hurt him pretty badly too) and 2) I don't want to read too much into things. But I think this would be helpful if people could share the beginnings of their reconciliation stories--very few of the threads I've found on the subject (granted, I could just be missing them) share how exactly things started happening. Thanks! To have hope the hurt has to be no longer there on either side if you still feel hurt its not the time.If he feels guilt its not the time i feel.Baby steps a firm friendship mutual respect and an understanding of what happened helps but the baggage from before needs to be left behind and a clean slate approach the best way and hope is always needed.
Author tallydoo Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Thanks I'm past the hurt/resentment part (NC helped so much), and I think it's less guilt on his part than trying not to hurt me further. But we've started working on the friendship again (we were really close before we started dating, which meant our relationship got pretty serious pretty quickly) in baby steps: a text here, a facebook post there, invites to parties and outings. I just want to know at what point I start thinking he might be aiming toward reconciliation--we're definitely not there yet, not by a long shot, but I tend to be obtuse when it comes to these things. He had to ask me out several times when we first started dating because I didn't get it.
Author tallydoo Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Now a little bit different question: how do I play it now that we're back in contact? Do I keep feeling it out with minor contact, or do I just hang back and wait for him?
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