Squishy_Belle Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Through my whole marriage my stbxh family was always there for me. After going through a real rough patch and being scared for my life his family helped me escape him (Hes had issues since he was a child so his family knows what he is like). They helped me escape back to my home country and were super supportive. I was home for roughly 3 months when i decided to go back and give out marriage another chance as i felt i left with no closure and still loved him so much and hoped we could work things out. He found out some of his family had helped me and i wasn't allowed contact with any of them when i went back to him. I feel terrible that i let him control me like that but i always made sure i sent them a message every now and then that i missed them and appreciated that had always been there. Fast forward to now. I am back home and we are getting divorced. The only person i really had contact to the whole time was his g-ma. I love his family and miss them and recently added one of his sisters on fb and she was fine with talking to me. I would love to message his aunty to see how she is and talk to his other sisters but i dont want to cause any trouble for them. I feel selfish for just cutting them out of my life for him when i knew they had done nothing wrong. Is it ok to go ahead and message them or should i let it go? They mean a lot to me and i feel like i have been unfair to them.
thatone Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 yeah you should, to be honest. they risked more than you by helping you, and you turned around and came right back making all of their efforts for naught. you should open up by thanking them, apologizing for the situation, and telling them that you'd like to keep in touch, and then respecting the wishes of each as they respond to you. some might never want to hear from you again, which is perfectly reasonable.
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 yeah you should, to be honest. they risked more than you by helping you, and you turned around and came right back making all of their efforts for naught. you should open up by thanking them, apologizing for the situation, and telling them that you'd like to keep in touch, and then respecting the wishes of each as they respond to you. some might never want to hear from you again, which is perfectly reasonable. I agree and understand what your saying. I reached out to 2 of his sisters yesterday and they both said they love and miss me and that they understand why things happened the way they did and that i dont need to be worried about causing issues again if i get in contact because stbxh doesnt care for them and hasnt spoken to them in over a year. God i love them all so much.
funnykitty28 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Im in the same situation as his family understands its not me, so they are being very supportive. Mostly going to family functions still is hard cause I feel like I have to say goodbye cause this isnt my family and I need to give my husband (ex i guess) his space to move on since thats what he wants. But I call his mother a lot to cry and I rely on her to help with kids. This is what sucks cause you cant ever completely move on. What if I meet someone else how would they accept this relationship with his family. But i dont know if you have kids, but in my situation this is the best for the kids. to feel what a family is.
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