Norse Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 First Off my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/330903-i-want-but-i-cant-cope So today I semi-broke nc. I had a friend call her number and ask for a random person, and he said apparently she asked if it was me... he told his name, and I'm not sure if she knew it was him or not she could possibly but either way she hung up. Not sure if I made matters worse. I noticed today on FB she deleted all of our pictures before the phone call. Today marks day 14 of nc. I was starting to wonder if she had changed her number or blocked me but I wasn't willing to try from my phone. The way I see it she blocked/deleted me & all of my family from FB, so obviously she doesn't want to talk to me. I seem to phase in and out, sometimes I think of her, most of the time I'm angry now because I feel like she gave up on our love, and took the cowardly way out, instead of wanting to hang onto what we had and work out our problems. The first few days it was all about memories, good and bad. I don't know how much longer I can go without sending a text or trying to call. She may have me blocked via phone or just never answer me anyway. And at the same time I feel like this constant hanging out with friends, keeping my mind busy 24/7 is only putting off the situation. Thanks for reading.
Gulf-Delta Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 What is your objective of texting her? What is your desired result? What do you expect to happen?
KS11 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 As tough as i know it is, i think in a way it is a good thing that she has explicitly shown you where she is at. As much as it hurts, at least this way there is no ambiguity. In comparison to my situation, i wish the person i love would tell me exactly what shes thinking, rather than sending mixed signals. The not knowing is excruciating and in my experience makes it a lot harder to let go.
betterdeal Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I'll tell you what's likely to happen if you contact her by one of these indirect ways: you will feel a sense of relief for about 0.5 seconds; then you will feels tense and nervous; then you will feel even more tense and nervous because you haven't had a reply; then you will feel rotten when you get a reply; or even more rotten if you do not get a reply. And none of that will make you feel any better. Ask yourself this: why are you using an indirect method such as texting? Why not speak to her in person? What are you afraid of such that you aren't willing or able to say what you have to say face to face? Could it be that you don't actually want to talk to her at all? Could it be that, having exhausted all the information you have, you just want a tiny new piece of data to ruminate over, to chew to pieces in your mind, over and over? Could it be that you just have a bad habit you need to kick?
MooBear Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 14 days in, you're doing really well!!! Don't contact her. No matter what happens it will be a setback and you'll feel like total crap for it. It might sound silly, but when I had urges to break NC, I used to write down everything I wanted to say to him, then I'd read it out loud to myself, then screw the paper up and toss it! It really helped me
Author Norse Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 I'll tell you what's likely to happen if you contact her by one of these indirect ways: you will feel a sense of relief for about 0.5 seconds; then you will feels tense and nervous; then you will feel even more tense and nervous because you haven't had a reply; then you will feel rotten when you get a reply; or even more rotten if you do not get a reply. And none of that will make you feel any better. Ask yourself this: why are you using an indirect method such as texting? Why not speak to her in person? What are you afraid of such that you aren't willing or able to say what you have to say face to face? Could it be that you don't actually want to talk to her at all? Could it be that, having exhausted all the information you have, you just want a tiny new piece of data to ruminate over, to chew to pieces in your mind, over and over? Could it be that you just have a bad habit you need to kick? Lol that actually made me feel better. You told me exactly what will happen. I don't want to speak to her in person because I'm afraid of what happened last time, she may be 24 and have a really good career but she still stays with her parents and her father wasn't very friendly last time I showed up out of the blue to talk to her. I could try and call but the last time we broke up and I tried to call I ended up calling 47 times with no answer.
silvermane187 Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 47 times? jesus christ dude. stop it before she files a restraining order.
Author Norse Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 No that was the first time, where I went crazy. I'm cool this time, I haven't made contact a once.
Tiera D Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 thats alright Norse i did worst things in that stage,Keep up what your doing.GL TD
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