that dude Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 So I met this girl, lets call her Abby. She is everything that I always though would make the perfect girl for me. Shes nice, sweet, cute and she really cares about me a lot. We have been gong out for 4 months now but I still dont have feelings of love for her. I really care about her a lot and I like spending time with her but I just don't have deep intimate feelings for her. I just got over a breakup 2 months before we started dating and I was really depressed because of it. Could my lack of feelings be because I raced into this relationship before coming to peace with my breakup? Should I end it or wait to see if my feelings for her grow once I start feeling better about myself?
january2011 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 It is a possibility that you went into this with some emotional residue from your previous relationship. It's also possibly that you haven't opened up emotionally to let Abby in because of the hurt you experienced in the previous relationship. Leading to the conclusion that you weren't ready to share yourself with another person. However, what's done is done and you're now in this relationship with Abby. At this four-month stage, is it important that you feel love? Is it a problem for her that you don't? Sometimes people expect this big love feeling by a certain stage, but not every relationship works out like that. And sometimes it takes a little more time. Especially if you're still hurting from a previous relationship. I usually advocate at least a year between relationships, but it doesn't always work out that way. You need to know yourself and trust your gut. If she really is the right girl, you could give it more time. However, if you're still feeling like you could take it or leave it at the 6-9 month point, then I think it may be unfair to drag it on for much longer. Especially, if you're both at an age where your dating pool is already small and time is of the essence regarding marriage and kids. Otherwise, if you do decide to break up, then I'd strongly suggest that you take a longer break to work on yourself before dating again.
Author that dude Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 thanks for taking the time to reply. you seem very wise so i will take your advice and wait it out a bit longer to see if anything changes
january2011 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 You're welcome. Good luck to you both. I hope it works out.
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