luvinthesun Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Not sure if this is the right forum... Sorry. How long do couples typically know/date/in relationship before moving in together? I mean, what is way too soon? Thank u.
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 At this point in my life, I would wait at least one year before moving in with anyone.
Pierre Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Not sure if this is the right forum... Sorry. How long do couples typically know/date/in relationship before moving in together? I mean, what is way too soon? Thank u. It is never a good idea to live together. However, most successful couples that live together are engaged with a wedding date. Those that "move in" with no commitment of any kind tend to fail when they try to play house. 1
Algermas Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 As soon as the female is able to break down his critical thinking skills.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I moved in with my ex after 4-5 months of dating. By that time, we were spending at least 3 nights per week at each other's place. I don't think it was "too soon" as such, I just think that if you are a bad match, moving in will highlight that and speed up the break-up (which would have happened anyway).
Pierre Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 moving in will highlight that and speed up the break-up (which would have happened anyway). That is the most intelligent remark you ever made in your life!:cool:
thatone Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) It is never a good idea to live together. However, most successful couples that live together are engaged with a wedding date. Those that "move in" with no commitment of any kind tend to fail when they try to play house. wrong, but we know that you are trying to wrap modern life around 2000 year old religious ideals. Living together: Study finds living together not a precursor of divorce later on - Chicago Tribune there's no indication that it has any effect whatsoever on divorce rates, for instance. from a man's standpoint, moving in together is commitment. if you can share bills and obligations and chores and such without hating each other, that's a pretty good indication that you'll get along for an extended length of time at least. me signing up for that is as much commitment as i'm willing to give at that point. if not, then that's ok. if you wind up hating each other and breaking up after living together at least you did so before getting married and needing attorneys and a judge to go your separate ways. so it's better than the alternative. of course this requires people who have more 'faith' in their relationships with reality and real people rather than imaginary ones. Edited June 23, 2012 by thatone 1
Pierre Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 wrong, but we know that you are trying to wrap modern life around 2000 year old religious ideals. Living together: Study finds living together not a precursor of divorce later on - Chicago Tribune there's no indication that it has any effect whatsoever on divorce rates, for instance. from a man's standpoint, moving in together is commitment. if you can share bills and obligations and chores and such without hating each other, that's a pretty good indication that you'll get along for an extended length of time at least. me signing up for that is as much commitment as i'm willing to give at that point. if not, then that's ok. if you wind up hating each other and breaking up after living together at least you did so before getting married and needing attorneys and a judge to go your separate ways. so it's better than the alternative. of course this requires people who have more 'faith' in their relationships with reality and real people rather than imaginary ones. I am is agreement. I said that those that live together with the intention of getting married do quite well. This is the essence of the study you cited. In the old days these folks did not cohabitate, but now they do. They important thing is that they were planning to get married. The addition of these folks have improved the statistics for those that are still together 5 years later. Here is a quote from the study: The study also revealed that women who consider themselves "engaged" while living with their partners before marriage were less likely to divorce than those who live with partners before marriage but do not consider themselves engaged. :)
thatone Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 but that's where we part ways. marriage is just a piece of paper. it's not some magical key to happiness. so what i'm getting at is the people who can live together and work through the issues that come with that are going to be fine whether married or not. the people who have issues with living together before marriage are putting too much expectation on marriage and are going to wind up in an unhappy marriage in most cases, because they're trying to turn a fantasy into reality. 1
veggirl Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 i lived with one ex, when I was much younger (like 22), we moved in after a year and a half of dating. Now, 7 yrs later...I will move in with a guy when I have an engagement ring on my finger and we are actively planning a wedding, no sooner.
Pierre Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 but that's where we part ways. marriage is just a piece of paper. it's not some magical key to happiness. so what i'm getting at is the people who can live together and work through the issues that come with that are going to be fine whether married or not. the people who have issues with living together before marriage are putting too much expectation on marriage and are going to wind up in an unhappy marriage in most cases, because they're trying to turn a fantasy into reality. Marriage is a piece of paper. However, many people avoid the paper like the plague. Cohabitation is the same whether married or not. Bowel movements that smell awful are the same. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation. The important factor regarding success is the level of commitment of the partners. Those that avoid the piece of paper are often less committed. All marriages have ups and downs. This is where commitment comes in handy.
thatone Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Marriage is a piece of paper. However, many people avoid the paper like the plague. Cohabitation is the same whether married or not. Bowel movements that smell awful are the same. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation. The important factor regarding success is the level of commitment of the partners. Those that avoid the piece of paper are often less committed. All marriages have ups and downs. This is where commitment comes in handy. i avoid it like the plague. why wouldn't i? paper is dangerous. i don't make a habit of walking into banks and handing them a full financial statement and signing away half of it as collateral in exchange for them promising to like me, give me blow jobs, and wash my socks, while they point out to me beforehand that 2/3 of banks will stop liking me, stop giving me blow jobs, stop washing my socks, blame me for doing so and steal the previously mentioned half on the way out the door. that would be craziness. so why should i be so excited about giving women the same thing? 1
MooBear Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) I've lived with all 3 of my boyfriends. First one I moved in with at 16 - no need to tell you how stupid that was! Second one we moved in together after 3 weeks after my parents kicked me out. We stayed together for over 2 years but purely cause we were complacent. Would have broken up a lot sooner had we not done that! My partner now, we've been living together for about 6 months and had been dating (on and off) for 5 years. I think whenever you are comfortable to do it and you have the same goals for the future. That is important. Edited June 23, 2012 by MooBear Error
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