steelgator Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 If your boyfriend left you and you begged to no avail, then he came back to you but you were unsure and thought he would hurt you. Would you take him back then break up with him and agree to be just friends just to get revenge and see how much he hurts and wants you back? Basically putting him through the test
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 No. I don't play those kind of games. I would either a) try to work on open and honest communication to see where that could lead us, or b) let it go. 2
no_more_tries Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 No. After feeling the pain of being hurt so deeply, I have no desire to do it to someone else, especially purposefully. 2
ladyabstrused Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 If your boyfriend left you and you begged to no avail, then he came back to you but you were unsure and thought he would hurt you. Would you take him back then break up with him and agree to be just friends just to get revenge and see how much he hurts and wants you back? Basically putting him through the test Nope, wouldn't do that. I think that's just cruel. Just let it go. Shouldn't even be begging to no avail honestly. If that takes place, means it's not going to work out.
d'Arthez Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Still hoping against all the odds steelgator? Just let go.
Author steelgator Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 The thing is she's very immature. She even said to me when she broke up with me "Now you know how i felt for those three weeks."
denise_xo Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 The thing is she's very immature. She even said to me when she broke up with me "Now you know how i felt for those three weeks." I don't know your back story, but if this is something a girl did to you, then your best choice is to stick her to the curb and find someone who respects you.
ladyabstrused Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 The thing is she's very immature. She even said to me when she broke up with me "Now you know how i felt for those three weeks." Oh so you were the guy whose girlfriend did that? Then you're better off without her. I'm sorry you had to experience that though. :\
Author steelgator Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 she's on medication and has anxiety problems saying quote "i think everyone wants to hurt me". Gets anxiety attacks every time i try to contact her about what's between us. I love the poor girl to death but Idk if I can do this friends thing.
lil hoodlum Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 she's on medication and has anxiety problems saying quote "i think everyone wants to hurt me". Gets anxiety attacks every time i try to contact her about what's between us. I love the poor girl to death but Idk if I can do this friends thing. Just my opinion, if your ex gets anxiety attacks because your are contacting her to find out whats going on between the both of you, then maybe you should really think about backing off and giving her some space. It seems that maybe you are pressuring her, trying to force her in doing something she isn't sure about. Typically the opposite reaction that you are hoping for will happen when you are forcing and pressuring someone to do something that they are unsure about.
todreaminblue Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 If your boyfriend left you and you begged to no avail, then he came back to you but you were unsure and thought he would hurt you. Would you take him back then break up with him and agree to be just friends just to get revenge and see how much he hurts and wants you back? Basically putting him through the test No a pointless waste of time, filling time and space and another persons life with dishonesty and revenge is best left to fantasy.....nah......there are much more pleasurable things to fantasize about.....revenge is bitterness......testing is manipulation.....good luck steelgator cheers to ya.....deb
DuchessKaye Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 No way in hell I would do that. That's cruel, dumb and waste of time...
Author steelgator Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 It just gets me that she just wants to be friends but she says not yet when i finally agree because she's still so hurt from me and all I want to do is get back with her but she keeps insisting on friendship. She still has feelings for me. I NEVER cheated on her. I just got drunk and yelled at her a few times then apologized the next day. After 3 weeks of NC i said a simple hey how are you? and she was responding immediately to my following texts making small talk. But now I have to start over again and its day 3, because I begged and upset her again. Do you think I still have a chance? Given after 3 weeks of NC she was very eager to respond to me? But still obviously hurt.
lil hoodlum Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 Almost anything is possible. You may still have a second chance. One thing that concerns me though, you seem so focused on what you want. What about what she wants. If you really love her you will forgo your wants for now to do what she wants to make her happy. You seem so intent on getting back with her and forcing her to decide. She has allready decided and she wants to be friends for now. Why can't you respect her and her decision? If you truely love this girl and want to be back with her, you need to repect her and put her wants and needs before your own. Putting your needs/ wants first is selfish. Please just back off and quit pressuring her with your wants. You might be surprised at her response when you make the effort to give her what she wants. Good luck!
Author steelgator Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Thanks lil hoodlum! I've been reading stories with people wanting to be friends and not contacting eachother for a few months and then having a friendly meeting which leads to slowly getting back together...taking things day by day. Which she said she wanted to take things day by day with summer since we were LD but i pressured her, stupidly. But once I get back to school we will no longer be LD and itll be almost 2 months of NC. By then we can be on friendly terms and if im nice enough I can make her want me again after a friendly meeting. She always said she never likes to plan things, and wants things to happen naturally so that could be why she just wants to be friends in the fall when i go back.
lil hoodlum Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I'm not a big fan of No Contact. I think that ya'll are on the path of Limited Contact. Don't ignore her (NC). Let her be the one to initiate contact and when she does, just be her friend and listen to her. Be sympathetic to what she is talking about. Don't get angry or upset over anything she wants to talk about or says. You say you've changed or want to change, well just being her friend for now will show her that you respect her and that you aren't going to be a jerk to her if things aren't going your way for now. She will respect you for that. When the fall semester rolls around and ya'll are in close contact again, she will see you differently and might possibly want to get to know the "new" you. Good luck!
Author steelgator Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 Yea I'm gonna wait. But I told her the day after our argument when I initially said i couldn't handle friends, to let me know when you're ready to talk, I'm putting the ball in your court. She just said "I think we're better off not." Then i agree to friends and she said ill be your friend but not yet you've hurt me too much. I just need to let her cool off.
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