GG3 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I feel like I've encountered my worst nightmare. I met this guy and everything was great. For the first 2.5 months, things seemed on a good course and sparks were flying. We talked every day a lot, had lunches during the week and spent the weekends together. He took a trip back home and hasn't been the same since. In person he is very loving. But he basically quit talking to me, opening up to me. Very very distant. He finally revealed that he hasn't felt "in love" feelings for anyone in 15 years. And that he wasn't developing them with me either. He said almost all of his relationships have been long distance and he likes it that way so he can have his weeks to himself and spend the weekend with someone. I feel awkward because during the week I feel so disconnected. He says he is concerned that he can't give me the "attention I need." But I don't need much. I was happy with the way things were before he left. I feel deceived and used. I felt like I was in something that was on track and suddenly this person was distant. And now I feel like I'm dating a distant-avoidant...which could be the case. And this guy goes on about wanting to be married and is worried about having kids because he's 42. But he can't even have a real relationship. I'm just so heartbroken and disappointed. I talk to other people, people that are just friends. And they have more emotion that this guy. He's like talking to Spock from Star Trek. How can someone be so disconnected from other people?
El Brujo Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Hey, I've been pretty much like that for the last 7 years, once I realized women didn't want any love from me. So... I took the hint and took myself off the market.
carhill Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 He took a trip back home and hasn't been the same since.My bet is an ex or a love interest at home base. The 'words' after was the re-write so everything matches up with what he wants to do. So, he hasn't had 'in-love' feelings since his late twenties? OK. I guess those sparks that were flying for a couple months were the brakes grinding away on the rails trying to get the love train stopped Date someone else. BTDT, mega empathy for you. When I'm feeling 'emotionally detached and broken hearted', as I did after my D, I didn't (and don't) date. Why put someone else through that wringer? Good luck.
january2011 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I'm sorry you went through that experience. The bright side is that he told you after 2.5 months, rather than 2.5 years. And you didn't marry him. Nor did you have his children. A revelation like that under those circumstances would have been much more devastating and life-changing. Like Carhill, I also suspect someone else at home base. Grieve then shake it off and get back on the horse.
2sunny Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Dump him! He's not offering you a healthy R... No reason to waste any more time hoping he changes - he won't!
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