confused221 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Hi. I'm a bit confused: Been seeing this girl for about 6 months now, first 4 or 5 were great. but towards lately, something about our relationship ,or with me, doesn't quite seem right. I bring up this issue with my gf on the path of maybe having a break or seeing a little less time with each other. My gf then gets very emotional and immature(she is quite immature), and then tells me that she cheated online several times while we were together. I talk to her about this and she vaguely gives me some details, then when I tell her to go she suddenly says she made it all up to hurt me and begs me not to get rid of her. So my questions are : 1. Would she have made up this cheating thing just to hurt me if she thought she was getting dumped perhaps, or does it sound more like a confession? 2. Regardless of above answer, can the relationship be salvaged? I know there are a lot of 'ifs and buts' but any feedback would be appreciated.
d'Arthez Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Why would you want to be in a relationship with an immature person anyway? That is the question you need to find an answer for.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Women are a lot better at feelings instinct than men are. She probably told you she cheated to hurt you. Probably to send the message that she never took you seriously, so you would feel like you couldnt one up her by breaking off the relationship. What was it about the relationship that doesnt seem right? That is important because if she changed her behavior, then you have a lil proof that she actually cheated. That way you know if she says she cheated online, it probably means she cheated in person, and downplayed it. Now the big picture is, for some reason she is learning to manipulate by saying that, and if you stay with her, you are teaching her that it works to her advantage, and she will do it to you again. If you dump her, which you should, she will learn that it only bites her in the ass.
Author confused221 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 @d'Arthez ... there is an age gap between us and therefore she is more immature than me. I don't 'want' to be in a relationship with someone immature, but she is just more immature than the stage where i am at my life. @Eddie Edirol ..... That's more or less the reason she gave me for saying she cheated on me. I do not however recall or have sensed anything different in her character in regards to working out if she did indeed cheat or not. I still don't know what to do...i love her very much but i don't think I'm 'in love' with her.....or whatever the cliche' is. Even more so after what she has said to me. I just don't know whether this can be worked out, and if so, how long do i wait to see if things are fixable?
Radu Posted June 24, 2012 Posted June 24, 2012 I don't care about immaturity coming from age gap, that's unimportant. This girl is just plain immature. Either it was a lie, but it was a devastating lie. Or it was true. So again, why does it matter at this point ? The normal outcome is the same, or should be the same.
Author confused221 Posted June 24, 2012 Author Posted June 24, 2012 I'm guessing the normal outcome would be to split up then? It's just really hard to do so because i know she loves me very much. Just seems a bit black and white to me. Or grey. I don't know.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 I'm guessing the normal outcome would be to split up then? It's just really hard to do so because i know she loves me very much. Just seems a bit black and white to me. Or grey. I don't know. She isnt going to learn to mature with you probably, go find someone who knows how to communicate, it will make life much easier. Dont worry about how hurt she is, tell her what she did wrong and let her learn the lesson on her own.
Recommended Posts