lvixen Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Hi all, We've been dating for about 6 months now, not an awfully long time but before that we were friends for years. I have extremely low self-esteem, and honestly I'm not sure I will find any better (that's what I keep telling myself anyways) but nevertheless, I still decided enough was enough and dumped him today. For the past 6 months he's called me names like sl*t, ugly (said I looked like a zombie out of a horror film when I had a bad case of acne) amongst other names. When I complained today he said, "I only like tolerant people," When I asked WHY I should tolerate abuse he said, "you make it seem like I beat you up." I thought emotional/verbal abuse was still abuse, or am I missing something? Anyways, I love him to death, YES even after all of this, so this is extremely painful for me. I'm tempted to call him up and give him an earful but I know I cannot do that and I need NC to heal. Any words for me? How do I keep NC when I'm in such deep pain? Add whatever you want. Thanks.
hcar6619 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Would take ten times the amount of physical pain compared to emotional pain. Good for you.
Author lvixen Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Thanks hcar. xpaper, I know I should, but it's just so hard. Most of my life I've been the victim of some abuse or another. I try to tell myself I'm worthwhile and all that stuff, and I'm seeing a psychiatrist too, but it just isn't helping much
StarlaStardust Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Thanks hcar. xpaper, I know I should, but it's just so hard. Most of my life I've been the victim of some abuse or another. I try to tell myself I'm worthwhile and all that stuff, and I'm seeing a psychiatrist too, but it just isn't helping much Me too. Let me spare you the gorey details:) Find a different psychiatrist if the current one isn't helping, although it can take a few months for the psychiatrist to have a good idea of how to help you. I also like the Self Esteem stuff Rori Raye puts out. Power & Self-Esteem | Rori Raye's Blog Not the best organized, but some browsing will give you some nice direction for loving yourself better.
StarlaStardust Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 When my abusive ex (fortunately there was only one) called me a "fatherless freak" and a "crater-faced b*tch" when I wanted to break up with him, I knew he would never change. You did the right thing. I feel so proud of you. Love and forgive yourself, even if it seems like you're telling yourself lies about being loveable. Fake it till you make it.
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