NBB Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Hi It's been a while since Ive dated anyone seriously. I am going to get together with this guy for our fourth time. I like him in theory, and see we have some things in common but have not sensed any chemistry or connection. I find it mildly stressful to be around him. He seems like a great guy, very passionate about his beliefs/causes. He also has shared some things that lead me to believe he might not be stable financially. Im not talking about being well off, I'm talking about comments that his parents paid off a substantial bill (6 figures) when he got into a pickle...I suppose that's great but, really in your 50's? Maybe thats just too picky. Also theres this thing, it just feels like it's all my job to keep things going, keep the conversation going, initiate a hug or peck on the cheek as we leave, keep asking him questions about his interests, When I spend oh over a sentence or two on my interests I see the vacant look cross over his eyes. I want to give us both the benefit of the doubt as I know I tend to be reserved and a bit socially awkward/shy and perhaps he is the same...but this absence of connection...how long do I gloss over this?
MooBear Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Hmm....I'm a "spark" girl so when there is no chemistry I usually give up by the third date. However, I have also heard from friends that when they started with their partner there was no real chemistry, it was like hanging out with a mate, but over time they developed a passion for them! Although from what you've said re: feeling like its up to you to keep things going, that's probably not a good sign. Yes he could just be naturally reserved, or he could be lazy and in the long run that would be more trouble than it's worth I think!
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