smk82 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I'm glad I found this forum while doing an internet search - I feel like I have trouble connecting with people but people in my life (siblings/husband) never give me straight answer when I discuss this with them. It may just be that I'm paranoid...or just over thinking? anyway here goes: I've never been an extroverted and outgoing person. I find it very difficult to talk to people and to trust them. I just find most people to be flaky and two-faced - or maybe I've just been too sensitive? I do have friends but most of them are from when I was younger (school etc). I find it gets harder to make friends as I get older - more difficult to find people who "get me"? I've been told that I have really high expectations of friends and most people just consider their acquaintances their friends - but to me a friend is someone you can be yourself with and someone you're on the same wavelength with. For a long time after high school I felt like I had lost the capability to make friends altogether - until I met this girl 2 years ago and we just connected. She moved away but we still keep in touch. So I haven't lost it - I just find it really hard to connect - its either there or its not. There are other people who I have known for a few years but we haven't moved beyond the basics. Is this the way it is for everyone? I feel like I"m naturally suspicious of people and that comes through somehow. I'll admit I am judgemental and I dont really want to make the effort with women I perceive to be vacuous and who only want to talk about others behind their backs. There are plenty of women like that here but again - theres no connection. I guess my question is why do some people seem so comfortable with themselves and they make friends so easily - and why is it such a trial for me?
KathyM Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 It's difficult for you because you are introverted. Introverts tend to not have such a high need for interaction with many people, just a select few. And that's OK. But if you feel you need more people in your life, then you need to put yourself out there where you will meet more people, and look for the positive things about them that make them worth getting to know. Everyone has their faults, but I usually find something worthwhile about people that would make them friend-worthy. I think you shouldn't expect people to be without flaws in order to be friends with you. Focus on their positive qualities, and you will find more people worth getting to know. 2
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