truth_seeker Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I got an invite to an OLD gathering. It was a chance for people who use or used OLD to get out and meet other single people. The crowd age was between 25-35. Women came in pairs or small groups; men either in pairs or alone. I'm glad I chose to go to this because it was a wake up call as to why most people are on OLD. I have no idea if it's frustration or being too demanding but I was shocked by the attitudes and anger people had there. The men were talking s--t about other men! Talk about insecurity issues. I could totally understand why a woman wouldn't want to date any of them. Women were huddled with their friends and wouldn't even entertain guys. There was a group of them next to me, and as I was talking to a different group of women, one guy, bless him, approached them, said hi, introduced himself and they just ignored him. He came over to our group and I was impressed how he brushed it off and moved on from it. There were some cool people. Ironically, these people were in the 30-35 ages. Most of the 20 somethings were flaky and dismissive, okay, more like dumb. lol. Leaving for the night I was walking out and a couple of women were as well and one of them I thought was going to cry. I felt bad. I told her just because she didn't connect with anyone here doesn't mean she won't ever. I think that helped? I can say from this experience there is no reason to ever do online dating again or even try an OLD singles night out. I went into it with a keep it light, no expectations, just be merry attitude. Majority of the crowd were uptight and bitter. Even the cool people I could tell were jaded from dating. I know it was one night, but from using OLD in the past and now meeting a lot of OLD users in person, I feel like this is not the way to go. I plan to focus on myself more, join groups for activity purposes and if I meet someone great, if not, I guess I'm destined to be single.
El Brujo Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I've been to a few of those meetings, back when I didn't know better. The women pretty much looked like IRL Barbie dolls and dissed most of the men... the stuff they talked about was pretty shallow anyways, and between that and my personal dislike for alcohol, I took the hint and left.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I got an invite to an OLD gathering. It was a chance for people who use or used OLD to get out and meet other single people. The crowd age was between 25-35. Women came in pairs or small groups; men either in pairs or alone. I'm glad I chose to go to this because it was a wake up call as to why most people are on OLD. I have no idea if it's frustration or being too demanding but I was shocked by the attitudes and anger people had there. The men were talking s--t about other men! Talk about insecurity issues. I could totally understand why a woman wouldn't want to date any of them. Women were huddled with their friends and wouldn't even entertain guys. There was a group of them next to me, and as I was talking to a different group of women, one guy, bless him, approached them, said hi, introduced himself and they just ignored him. He came over to our group and I was impressed how he brushed it off and moved on from it. This is something I just can't wrap my head around. IF you're going to a singles event, presumably with the idea of meeting someone, why would you go with a group of friends? These women are either extremely insecure, not really interested in meeting anyone or just plain dumb (perhaps all three). I bet the same women complain that men nowadays don't have the balls to approach women...
Author truth_seeker Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 This is something I just can't wrap my head around. IF you're going to a singles event, presumably with the idea of meeting someone, why would you go with a group of friends? These women are either extremely insecure, not really interested in meeting anyone or just plain dumb (perhaps all three). I bet the same women complain that men nowadays don't have the balls to approach women... I thought the same exact thing. The women in their 20's seemed to be there to see if there were any "cute" guys. If not, in their opinion, they talked to each other. I will offer in defense of some of these women, if they were getting hit on by obnoxious guys, it could have turned them off from being available to anyone else there. There were some questionable people mixed in the crowd. One woman did confess to me that she was seeing 4-5 guys at the moment. She didn't care for any of them but liked the attention and occasional offer for dinner. lol. Another woman told a story of how she was in a relationship but the guy would never take her out. He only wanted to hang out at her place. I asked how long they were dating and she said about 6-8 weeks. For some reason, she added, he suddenly disappeared, which led me to explain to her, he was involved with someone else while sleeping with you, and chose her after getting his fill. She agreed. lol. Between the one woman playing games for attention and free dinners, to another woman getting played and used, it makes me believe everyone online has been used and abused and causes people to play games so they don't get played. Hard to meet someone real when it's like this.
utterer of lies Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 One woman did confess to me that she was seeing 4-5 guys at the moment. She didn't care for any of them but liked the attention and occasional offer for dinner. lol. That caused you to laugh out loud? How did she react to that? ... he was involved with someone else while sleeping with you, and chose her after getting his fill. She agreed. lol. So the conversation went like this? truth_seeker: he was involved with someone else while sleeping with you, and chose her after getting his fill. woman: I agree. truth_seeker(loud): Hahahahahaha...muahahaha. 1
grkBoy Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 This is something I just can't wrap my head around. IF you're going to a singles event, presumably with the idea of meeting someone, why would you go with a group of friends? These women are either extremely insecure, not really interested in meeting anyone or just plain dumb (perhaps all three). I bet the same women complain that men nowadays don't have the balls to approach women... Well, most guys go with the sole idea on meeting women and the hopeful goal of coming home with a number or a date. Women though...they go with the HOPE some hot amazing guy who isn't a playa will be there, or at least a more "normal" guy who doesn't make their skin crawl. Like speed dating, many women just go in packs because they want to meet guys, but they cringe and cower up when it's time. I've seen too many go and close themselves off in social events, but later claim how they tried and thus didn't meet anyone. "I went, but there weren't any cute guys there." I had one female friend actually say this to me: "Ugh, it was all a bunch of losers! Where are the hot successful guys who want a relationship? Why am I always stuck between ugly guys who want to commit versus hot guys who just want to get laid?" I'll be honest now. I would never go to an event labeled "Singles ______" The problem is too many single people are still worried about stigmas and such, so they avoid any of that. I've even noticed when you're dealing with meetup and such, the hot interesting fun girls tend to stick to "Girls night out" and other such things that have nothing to do with dating. MY SUGGESTION: Start looking at the non-dating social events. Go there simply to meet people and do not worry about if any are potential girlfriends or not. Be choosy on where you go, so if you see the event is loaded with guys or people you're not into, don't go. If it's loaded with "yes" RSVP from women who never show up, then scratch that group off as a potential.
monkey00 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 The atmosphere you described with your singles night out doesn't sound any different from a club or bar honestly. Guys and girls do the exact same thing. The women are there to gossip and travel in packs and when a guy tries to infiltrate that, he just gets the brush off. Even if one or more of the girls may be interested, they will all just follow suit and ignore him...that's just sad. The guys trash talking each other is even more sad and insecure. I've had guys do that to me when I'm out with a girl and say directly to a girl (when I'm not around) and it makes them look stupid. Speed dating is almost as bad. Have you ever considered/done it OP?
Author truth_seeker Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 That caused you to laugh out loud? How did she react to that? So the conversation went like this? truth_seeker: he was involved with someone else while sleeping with you, and chose her after getting his fill. woman: I agree. truth_seeker(loud): Hahahahahaha...muahahaha. No. I threw in the "lol" just here. I didn't laugh out loud in front of these women.
Author truth_seeker Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 I've even noticed when you're dealing with meetup and such, the hot interesting fun girls tend to stick to "Girls night out" and other such things that have nothing to do with dating. MY SUGGESTION: Start looking at the non-dating social events. Go there simply to meet people and do not worry about if any are potential girlfriends or not. Be choosy on where you go, so if you see the event is loaded with guys or people you're not into, don't go. If it's loaded with "yes" RSVP from women who never show up, then scratch that group off as a potential. Girls night out is a mere excuse women use to fend off unwanted attention from men they want nothing to do with. If a woman is into you, there is no such thing as girls night out. I think girls make that "there were no hot guys there" rant as an excuse because no guy approached them. I agree with non-dating social events. I went to the OLD singles night with the mindset to get out and meet new people. No goal of getting a number, but if it happened it would have been a nice surprise. One thing I didn't like was when you didn't connect with someone, you would continually bump into them again because you were in one room.
Author truth_seeker Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 The atmosphere you described with your singles night out doesn't sound any different from a club or bar honestly. Guys and girls do the exact same thing. The women are there to gossip and travel in packs and when a guy tries to infiltrate that, he just gets the brush off. Even if one or more of the girls may be interested, they will all just follow suit and ignore him...that's just sad. The guys trash talking each other is even more sad and insecure. I've had guys do that to me when I'm out with a girl and say directly to a girl (when I'm not around) and it makes them look stupid. Speed dating is almost as bad. Have you ever considered/done it OP? Yea but why pay $30 to go to a singles night if you're a woman just to talk to your friends? I couldn't believe the guys. It just shows why they are single and reigning vaseline champions. Did try speed dating before. I found it to be exhausting. Like I was passing my resume out to job recruiters at a job fair. After the 4th date I was ready for a nap.
utterer of lies Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 No. I threw in the "lol" just here. I didn't laugh out loud in front of these women. I know. It just seemed slightly inappropriate considering the topic you discussing.
henderson14 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I live in Chicago. Where was it at and how did you hear about it?
ariadne999 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 This is something I just can't wrap my head around. IF you're going to a singles event, presumably with the idea of meeting someone, why would you go with a group of friends? These women are either extremely insecure, not really interested in meeting anyone or just plain dumb (perhaps all three). I bet the same women complain that men nowadays don't have the balls to approach women... M. E. N. Money....and Well nothing else to offer.
mario_C Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I've gone to some OLD (online dating) club/group sponsored offline get togethers. They're hit or miss. Some nights the crowd is awesome, the women are really easy to talk to and fun, and you leave hopeful. Other times the crowd and women are...well, not the cream of the crop, and you leave looking for the nearest bar. And BTW yes, it's different from a bar because most women go to bars to hang out with each other and laugh and be admired. Not safe to approach, which is why we designate Singles events like these for the awkward or inexperienced to approach safely. Or at least, that's how it's supposed to work. At too many of these things, women cop excuses - they say, "I'm here being supportive of my friend", and 2 minutes later they're talking to another jerk. Lock and key parties are the worst - women will approach you to check if your key fits, and then RUN away. Gee, I'm sorry the concept of saying hi or making just a little conversation or pretending you're here for anything other than free Broadway tickets is that sickening to you. At least on speed dates, they have to sit and let you talk for two minutes, and then you can listen to what they have to say for the other six, which is fine by me. Obviously I'm weird like that. My take, that's all.
GravityMan Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 The anecdotes mentioned in this thread are a big reason why I've shied away from attending the get-together singles events that Match.com, etc. occasionally host. I prefer activity-based meetups to meet and connect with women and people in general.
monkey00 Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Yea but why pay $30 to go to a singles night if you're a woman just to talk to your friends? I couldn't believe the guys. It just shows why they are single and reigning vaseline champions. Did try speed dating before. I found it to be exhausting. Like I was passing my resume out to job recruiters at a job fair. After the 4th date I was ready for a nap. I tried speed dating three times. The first time around it was $30. The other 2 times it was free because they didn't have enough men...but yeah all in all it sucked pretty bad having to explain yourself over and over. I've been on so much OLD dates that these days I feel like I want to stick with meeting people organically through activities and being more social.
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