Why do I still even care???

[phil00]

I have no idea what's wrong with me. Why do I still care about the ex, and how do I make it stop?

Bried history. It was a 2 year relationship. She was much younger. I was 35, she was 22. She pursued. She was extremely beautiful and sexual. She could have any man she wanted. Breakup was bad. I just learned the term GIGs from this site, so it may be that. Whatever. That was 2 years ago. She rebounded with someone much younger and totally opposite of me, then after that met someone she dated for over a year.

I thought I went through the motions. It was hard to get over it, but I did. Or else I thought I did. We run into each other about a month ago from an accidental text asking for a ride home after drinking too much. Seemed she was single again the way she was flirting. Told me she would see me later. I texted a few times, then called. Turns out she blocked my phone! So I send an email asking why. She replies "I have no desire to keep an open line of communication with you. I helped you out the other day because you've helped me out in the past and felt I owed you. I don't want to feel hostility from helping you out, but with you contacting me all the time I'm feeling a little. Please stop contacting me".

I'm floored. I've sent maybe 4 texts, 1 call, a few groupon forwards, and 2 emails asking why she blocked my phone. This was in a span of 5 weeks. When we broke up 2 years ago, she accused me of being controling, needy, and crazy mad texter boyfriend, and I admit I was. It hurt to hear that at the time. And now, hearing this same accusation of harrassing her, after she came onto me when I last saw her and I was the one who had to put a stop to it...It brought back all the horrible feelings I had when we first broke up.

I mean, was I fooling myself that I was over it?

Second thing is that when she started dating someone right after me, sure it hurt, but I eventually, after a long time, accepted it. Now that she's single, I find myself wondering the stuff I used to wonder 2 years ago, like, is she sleeping with anyone yet? I wonder if she's alone tonight. etc.etc.

[january2011]

You still hold a candle for her. She was single and wanted to see if you were still available to her. Then she either changed her mind or a better offer came along, so she backpeddled and put it on you. She played you and made you out to be the bad guy.

 

Delete and block her. Ignore any attempts at contact. She's not reaching out to be friends, she's looking for an ego boost and has not intention of getting back with you.

 

You may never truly get over her, but you may be able to get to a stage where the thought of her no longer elicits a strong emotional response. Only time and the lack of news from her end will help you to move forward.

[Sugarkane]

I agree with january- full NC. Atleast you tried, so I wouldn't have anymore what ifs anymore.

[Mr Scorpio]

If you sent that many texts and emails and received no reply from her, it is time to re-initiate NC. It sounds like she gave you a ride to be friendly and that was that. I'm not going to say "move on" because that would be hypocritical of me. I'm just saying... NC.