ryandxtreme Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 it will be a long postas i have tried to jot down everything..so please bear with me... we were in a 4 yr relationship,i'm 22 she's 20..she cheated me twice...the second time she dumped me ..that was in january 2011.. initially i was in lot of pain and made the usual mistakes of begging..then we went to complete non-contact mode from june 2011..she suddenly calls me up in march 2012 from a new number... tells me she is sorry for what she did with me.. i behaved very nicely with her ...i told her that I was in a relationship..she says she has a bf too.. she pleads me to meet once and we met...then i went back to my university which is in another city...throughout march she gives me subtle hints of her desire to patch up..says how much she loves me and how much she regrets for leaving me...she says she isn't in love with her bf and it's just an attempt to cope with her loneliness... and she goes on over texts about how much she loves me even now... initially i used to respond very little to her texts but then i started falling for it ...i broke up with my new gf at this stage as i was having committment issues and my new-gf felt i was still not over my ex..even i felt i was not in love with my new-gf and i didn't want to cheat her emotionally by giving her false hopes..but as soon as i started contacting my ex on my own she got distant from me...her calls and texts which were a regular affair till then became few and far in between... i was back to my home in may..after returning i asked her why she suddenly got so cold she says she is afraid that she loves me but is unsure of a a relation with me as she fears we might again end up hurting each other...we by the way had a very bitter breakup... we were in no-contact for a month and a half..few days back my sister talked with her on fb... she said to my sister dat i have changed a lot and i was no longer the person she loved,she says she has broken up with her bf few weeks back and is single...then two days later she texts me saying that she had tried to patch up with me but failed miserably..she asks me not to keep hope on her and move on...we end up talking over the phone ..i was deeply hurt by her change in stance in just a matter of a month...1 month before she said she was still madly in love with me and now she says she isn't...i told her my feelings for her was always the same ..throughout everything and i still loved her...i didn't ask her to come back ..i just told her what i felt about her... she confessed that she is remains sad and wants to go far away and start a new life... i just can't bear this uncertainty of feelings from her side,i'm just obsessing over what suddenly changed her feelings... friends help me out ..
goldengirl11 Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 (edited) it will be a long postas i have tried to jot down everything..so please bear with me... we were in a 4 yr relationship,i'm 22 she's 20..she cheated me twice...the second time she dumped me ..that was in january 2011.. initially i was in lot of pain and made the usual mistakes of begging..then we went to complete non-contact mode from june 2011..she suddenly calls me up in march 2012 from a new number... tells me she is sorry for what she did with me.. i behaved very nicely with her ...i told her that I was in a relationship..she says she has a bf too.. she pleads me to meet once and we met...then i went back to my university which is in another city...throughout march she gives me subtle hints of her desire to patch up..says how much she loves me and how much she regrets for leaving me...she says she isn't in love with her bf and it's just an attempt to cope with her loneliness... and she goes on over texts about how much she loves me even now... initially i used to respond very little to her texts but then i started falling for it ...i broke up with my new gf at this stage as i was having committment issues and my new-gf felt i was still not over my ex..even i felt i was not in love with my new-gf and i didn't want to cheat her emotionally by giving her false hopes..but as soon as i started contacting my ex on my own she got distant from me...her calls and texts which were a regular affair till then became few and far in between... i was back to my home in may..after returning i asked her why she suddenly got so cold she says she is afraid that she loves me but is unsure of a a relation with me as she fears we might again end up hurting each other...we by the way had a very bitter breakup... we were in no-contact for a month and a half..few days back my sister talked with her on fb... she said to my sister dat i have changed a lot and i was no longer the person she loved,she says she has broken up with her bf few weeks back and is single...then two days later she texts me saying that she had tried to patch up with me but failed miserably..she asks me not to keep hope on her and move on...we end up talking over the phone ..i was deeply hurt by her change in stance in just a matter of a month...1 month before she said she was still madly in love with me and now she says she isn't...i told her my feelings for her was always the same ..throughout everything and i still loved her...i didn't ask her to come back ..i just told her what i felt about her... she confessed that she is remains sad and wants to go far away and start a new life... i just can't bear this uncertainty of feelings from her side,i'm just obsessing over what suddenly changed her feelings... friends help me out .. I can understand your anguish. It would appear that she went through a period of missing you, or/and possibly curiosity when contacting you. However, has since decided that she wants to seek that 'new life' as she put it. Whether that means she has someone else in mind now, I don't know. I guess that you can take some comfort though out of knowing that she's hardly going to forget you after 4 years (if on and off), so I guess that she could contact you again in the future. Maybe if that did happen though it would be helpful for you to tell her your feelings i.e you're hesitant to get involved again as it would seem like a cycle. Edited June 25, 2012 by goldengirl11
Author ryandxtreme Posted June 28, 2012 Author Posted June 28, 2012 thanks goldengirl11 for your reply... it answered a lot of questions... i sometimes feel like it was wrong of me to talk with her even...but after telling her what i did i certainly feel a lot light...it's never easy to suddenly hate a person u loved ...i pretended exactly that after break-up...maybe it helped me heal den...but now i felt really light after saying to her that even after what she did my feelings haven't faded.. i said it was tough on me to get through the period of pain but i don't hate her for that..i mentioned that i only wished she was a bit less selfish and cared a little bit about other people as well ..she was quiet all through it..maybe she agreed ..who knows..i haven't heard from her since then..
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