Yuzuki Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Almost exactly one year ago, we were walking through Paris hand in hand and I was perhaps one of the happiest girls in the world. He broke up with me a few days later. Today I just heard (as we work at the same company) that he left on a trip today and this is the first time since the breakup that I don't know where he is headed. I've already been crying every day for awhile now, remembering the happy memories from last year. But this is another blow. Did he go to the country he used to say he'd take me to this year - my dream country? Is he off to see family? Meeting up with someone new? It's killing me. I wish I could go back a year and relive my happy memories in Paris. I saw some other people posting "a year on" topics but made my own as I wanted to vent a little. However for what it's worth to others, you're not the only ones still hurting a year later. This is a really difficult time for me and I'm crying at my desk again as we speak. Good luck to everyone. We'll get through this eventually.
jquest1280 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 As for me, when I reached my 2-year mark, my memories were of how much it hurt at the 1-year mark. It no longer hurt, it was just memories of the hurt. And as life goes on, other memories gradually bury the hurtful event. So make other memories. When you said 'this is the first time since the breakup that I don't know where he is headed' I can relate to that. I used to know everything about him, and now I am just the average friend, maybe even less. Our other friends know about his activities more than I do. The thought that I no longer occupied a privileged place in his life hurt for a long time. But you know what, who is he to make you feel bad? Whadaheck do you care where he goes? You got interesting things to do and places to go yourself! (And that's what I did..)
Author Yuzuki Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Hi jquest, and thanks. I really need(ed) someone to talk some sense into me right now. So from what I understood you were also still hurting at the one year mark? But in two years, you were okay (left with only memories of the pain rather than being in pain)? That actually makes me a bit hopeful because after a year it's easy to get scared that the pain will never go away. Making new memories is something I do try but - as you may have experienced as well - part of you doesn't really want to bury the old memories. I am sometimes clinging on to them too much, reliving them instead of making new ones. I am surprised that you are actually still friends with this person. I think I would be an even bigger mess if I kept him in my life as a friend. And considering all the hurt he's caused you, does it really work?
jquest1280 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 You're working at the same company, that's tough. In my case, we are a large group of friends, so we just blended back in the group after the break-up. I would have probably healed faster if I stayed away, but I didn't want to lose my other friends (and ok, secretly I hoped we could get back together if I stayed visible. Obviously that didn't work). I wanted to hang on to my memories too. I avoided going to our special places with other people to avoid associating other memories with it. Hey, we do whatever keeps us sane, and we let go at our own pace. I still have memories of my ex, perhaps not as clear as before, but they're still there. BUT no more pain. Just memories. And they don't pop into my head everday, only when I want to take them out. It took a long time, but it got better for me (and lots of people here too). So it will get better for you also.
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