22s Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Where do I begin? Well, I've liked this girl for a while now and am not quite sure if she feels the same way. We have a class together (currently) so I see her a couple times a week, but we used to have classes together everyday and I got used to seeing her quite frequently. The sudden lack of seeing her everyday really made me miss her, which led to me constantly thinking about her. For the record I am way too shy and I really need to work on being more direct, but I really should have asked her out. Instead, I kind of stopped talking to her because the class only meets twice a week and its a class that I really need to pay attention in. Yesterday I don't know what happened, but I ended up feeling kind of down about the situation and decided to vent by writing an email detailing how I feel about her (this is how I normally vent, but I never send the email). Stupidly, I did this while I was almost asleep and accidentally clicked "send" instead of "save draft." Luckily I was using my other email account that I have not sent her anything with, but I think she might be able to tell the letter was from me based on what I said. I didn't use any specifics, but we've been texting for a while, so she might be able to tell anyway. Sorry for the essay, but what should I do? I won't see her until Monday, so that leaves 3 days before I see her again, should I call her and explain? Or should I just see what happens? If she ends up reading that email, I'm pretty sure I just lost not only a great girl, but a great friend
dizy Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 hi, its funny because I first thought that it was some guy that I know =p. We were in a similar situation. Its a good thing that you sent the email, if its really genuin there is a good chance that she says yes. I gave up because he was really emotional unstable and i have a busy lifestyle. I dont feel like wasting my time with someone who is just half interested.
Author 22s Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Thank you so much for the reply. I am lost right now, and all advice is appreciated. I was thinking the same thing as what you said, that as long as it was genuine it would be okay. But I still feel like I should say something to her before Monday comes around. Do you think it would make things even more awkward if I called her to talk about it?
Author 22s Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Any other input would be greatly appreciated. My mind is like jelly right now...
gaius Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Just pretend it never happened. Deny involvement if she asks if it was you. If she presses you on it tell her it was probably the latest nigerian prince scam looking for money. Use wordpad for venting in the future. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Just pretend it never happened. Deny involvement if she asks if it was you. If she presses you on it tell her it was probably the latest nigerian prince scam looking for money. Use wordpad for venting in the future. Exactly. If you bring it up it will make you look more desperate to suck up to her, and that isnt attractive or confident. DO NOT bring it up unless she does. Since you havent asked her out yet, you probably sunk yourself with her, so expect her to act weird around you. But DO NOT act weird around her, act like you know nothing about it, and go on as normal, that way she feels like the weird one. 2
TheFinalWord Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Where do I begin? Well, I've liked this girl for a while now and am not quite sure if she feels the same way. We have a class together (currently) so I see her a couple times a week, but we used to have classes together everyday and I got used to seeing her quite frequently. The sudden lack of seeing her everyday really made me miss her, which led to me constantly thinking about her. For the record I am way too shy and I really need to work on being more direct, but I really should have asked her out. Instead, I kind of stopped talking to her because the class only meets twice a week and its a class that I really need to pay attention in. Yesterday I don't know what happened, but I ended up feeling kind of down about the situation and decided to vent by writing an email detailing how I feel about her (this is how I normally vent, but I never send the email). Stupidly, I did this while I was almost asleep and accidentally clicked "send" instead of "save draft." Luckily I was using my other email account that I have not sent her anything with, but I think she might be able to tell the letter was from me based on what I said. I didn't use any specifics, but we've been texting for a while, so she might be able to tell anyway. Sorry for the essay, but what should I do? I won't see her until Monday, so that leaves 3 days before I see her again, should I call her and explain? Or should I just see what happens? If she ends up reading that email, I'm pretty sure I just lost not only a great girl, but a great friend What exactly did you say? Was it nice things? I don't think it's a big deal. You flattered her by saying nice things and that you liked her. I would own up to it. Just tell her you didn't mean to send it and would have rather said it in person. Hey, at least you'll have your answer. Don't lie...that will definitely kill your chances.
Author 22s Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 I'll start by saying I'm really bad at relationships (or in this case even generating one) so maybe I'm completely wrong here, but wouldn't it be best to just tell her? No games, no hiding or anything like that. This was a stupid mistake on my part (and googles for putting the send and save buttons right next to each other) and in the future I should definitely use Notepad. But I really feel like this girl is a good friend of mine in addition to me liking her. Somewhere deep down I feel like she would understand. But like I said, I virtually know nothing in this situation. Thanks though gaius and Eddie, maybe I'll just keep quiet...
Author 22s Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Ahhh! Conflicting ideas here! I guess I have till tomorrow evening to decide to say something or not. Oh, and yes TheFinalWord, I said nice things along the lines of I had thought of her as a friend up until recently, but things have changed and she seems to be everything a guy could ask for.
TheFinalWord Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I'll start by saying I'm really bad at relationships (or in this case even generating one) so maybe I'm completely wrong here, but wouldn't it be best to just tell her? No games, no hiding or anything like that. This was a stupid mistake on my part (and googles for putting the send and save buttons right next to each other) and in the future I should definitely use Notepad. But I really feel like this girl is a good friend of mine in addition to me liking her. Somewhere deep down I feel like she would understand. But like I said, I virtually know nothing in this situation. Thanks though gaius and Eddie, maybe I'll just keep quiet... I don't know what the outcome will be. I think at least you will know if she feels the same way. If she is your friend, why lie? What are the possibilities? She could feel the same way. At least you'll know. At worst , she doesn't talk to you anymore? Most mature women won't do that though. Usually, you're the one who will eventually have to stop talking b/c of your feelings for her (that is, if she doesn't have them). At best, she could feel the same way.
gaius Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Women hate it when guys confess feelings instead of just making a move and asking them out. I haven't seen a guy get away with that yet, but who knows.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Women hate it when guys confess feelings instead of just making a move and asking them out. I haven't seen a guy get away with that yet, but who knows. Exactly! Women want mystery, they want to earn your heart. You know why you like her so much? because youve built up so many expectations of her, because you dont know if she likes you. If women know they already have your heart without doing any work, they lose interest, its not attractive, it doesnt get their emotions racing for you. Thats what the games are for. It keeps people interested. If you just tell her everything, such as, youre not good at relationships and that you really like her you shoot yourself in the foot. Women who have choices only want men that know what they are doing. Telling her everything will kill any remaining attraction she might have had for you, if she has any left after seeing the letter. Alot of women have to deal with awkward guys that just confess things to them. No one appreciates anything that they didnt earn. Least of all, dates. She already knows you like her, no need to confess anything else, just forget about it, be fun to hang with, dont bring it up. Dont be ashamed of m aking a mistake, its a stupid thing you did, leave it alone. Get a hold of yourself. Take it from people with experience who have made this mistake before. You think you want to listen to your instinct, but Your instinct is wrong because you have no idea what you are doing. Dont feel like you have to confess everything to her just because you feel compelled to let out in a secret to relieve your guilt. This isnt a big deal to feel guilty about.
darkmoon Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 (edited) i'd find it sweet; a secret love-code, something of the medieval early days of courtship, and/or i'd laugh a bit, it's no big deal - women, i am one, like discussing our emotions, yes, you two friends need to talk, we like that too, talking... tell her you were down when you sent it - if she's any sort of friend, she won't think it's a big deal Edited June 22, 2012 by darkmoon
Author 22s Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Well, I just wanted to thank all of you for your input in my situation. All of you have valid points, but after thinking about this for a good 24 hours I have come to the decision that I am just going to call her and explain. I won't talk about anything in the email, but just apologize for even sending something so stupid and go from there. At the end of the day, if she doesn't want to talk to me after this that's fine. I understand, and if that's the case then maybe she wasn't even the friend I thought she was. Regardless of the outcome here I have learned a valuable lesson and all of you have helped me. Thanks!
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