Feedthewhitedog Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Here's my story. About 5 months ago this girl came up to me and asked me to help her out with projects for a class that we were both in. For the first few months she was with someone else so I never told her how I felt. I started to develop feelings for her about a month or so of working on projects with her. Around the middle of March she broke up with her boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) of four years. At this time, I had been helping her for about 4 months. Around the end of April I told her that I had feelings for her. She did not reciprocate, so I ended the friendship (she told me that she was seeing someone else that I was not aware of). Here I am about a month and a half later.. I still think about her everyday but not in a romantic way. I find that it has gotten much easier since the first week or two, but now all I feel towards her is anger and resentment. It is important to note that during the whole time that I was "helping" her with projects, I felt as though I was being used and clearly now I was used. This is definitely the source of the anger and resentment that I feel. I was in the proverbial "friend zone", which is like hell on earth when you have feelings for the other person. Since the break up I have contacted her minimally (we used to see or text each other on a daily basis). She initiated contact once with me since the break up to say I hope that you're doing well and have a nice summer. We had about a 10 message long conversation where nothing happened (usual texting BS about nothing). Since then I have not contacted her at all and she also has not contacted me at all. So, we have been in complete NC for close to a month. I'm approaching two months and I still think about her everyday even though we were never romantically or sexually involved. I just don't know how to stop the thoughts of her or if they will ever go away. The purpose of this post is mainly to get it off my mind, so if anyone as anything to say it is more than welcome. If you have experienced something similar, how long did it take before you really got over it? Did you ever get over it? Is there something I can do to ease the pain? I appreciate any input.
Philosoraptor Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Well it seems that you were quite infatuated and now you're going through the grieving process. The only thing I can offer is to understand what a rejection is. It is simply someone being honest with you. She didn't lie to you and she didn't lead you on, so you've got no reason to be mad at her. Whom you need to have a talk with is yourself. You obviously over romanticized her and it led to your pain. Our expectations are almost always the reason for our pain.
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