AverageJoe80 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I've known this girl for maybe 4 or 5 months, but in those months we'd run into each other at our local hang out, but not often...maybe twice a month, then we got kinda closer & then maybe about a month or so ago, we decided to take it to the next level. And we did. And it's been a perfect, great time. We've been spending our entire weekends together, and stay at her place during the week as well. The chemistry is certainly there, and it's a wonderful thing...everything is simple & easy with her. And I've been on cloud 9. And then the other day, we were texting each other and she brought up this topic of slowing it down. I'll agree with her, we have been moving fast, but it hasn't been a problem at all, ever. And we're both having a good time in the fast lane Until now. We still routinely talk from day to day, and obviously, we don't spend time together as much as originally. But when I'm not with her, miss her, she's on my mind nonstop & it's driving me crazy. I'm a little confused because she always goes on & on about how I treat her the way that she's always wanted to be treated. I guess her past relationships weren't the best. So, of course, that sounds like a good thing to me, and now this? How does she love the way I am with her, yet want to slow down & be like really great friends again? I'm having a hard time back peddling. She honestly might just not be ready because she was with someone for a year, and they split up, probably around the time I originally met her. Maybe 5 months ago? I just now she's so perfect for me, I think she knows that too...but something I guess scared her. I just wish that she would figure out that I'm not like the last clowns that she shared her life with, and there's no doubt about that. Does anyone have advice for me? I know how I want this situation to turn into...something good with us. But how do I handle the situation right now? I don't think I'm very good at being slow. Thanks for any help.
curlygirl40 Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 IMO you're having a hard time slowing down because you've become attached to her, and attached to the outcome. So you're afraid that instead of slowing down, she is not going to want to see you again and you'll 'lose' what you had with her. You have to follow her lead on this one because if you chase, you will push her further away. Give her some space. Maybe she needs the space to realize that she wants to be with you, maybe she's scared because it was too much, too soon after her break up. Maybe she has her eye on someone else. It's hard to say for sure, but if she's saying it needs to be slowed down, then find a way to slow it down. You can't make her do or act a certain way, you can only react to what she's doing. Best of luck
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