I love my bf and I know he loves me- but he hardly ever tells me- why? How can I get

[luvinthesun]

OK. My bf likes to SHOW me that he loves me- but being that I am into journalism- I am really into words. I know- people lie- but I like to hear nice things.

 

I love him and on occassion- he has been known to tell me... but it is usually when things arent that great between us. I would like him to tell me more reguarly than that. I know people are different- I am they type who says it upon ending a conversation/night ... and when I am happy or doing something special.

 

Some times it makes me feel weird- and again- I know he does love me ... but when I tell him- he says "I know." or nothing and it makes me feel weird. He will- on occassion- say or text goodnight love- but not the same to me.

 

So how do I get him to say it? (he has already told me he is the kind who doesnt say it - but SHOWS it.)

 

Should I just STOP telling him?

[Eddie Edirol]

When you say "I love you" too much, it might make someone else NOT want to say it. SO ease up on the I love yous. He might not be big on saying it, it might not give him a good feeling to say it, especially if you say it just to bait him into saying it so you feel good. That is contrived. So stop telling him and see what he does. His love language is showing you he loves you and not telling you, theres not much you can do to make him want to tell you. Plus, if youre still with him after all he trouble, he knows he doesnt need to feel uncomfortable saying it because youre not going anywhere. If it works this way and he doesnt have to say it, why would he change? You can discuss it with him, but if you already did, this is the way it is.

 

BTW all the trouble you seemed to have had with him in past threads, I dont think he is in love with you.

[luvinthesun]

I am the kind of person who says what is on my mind- not because I am trying to make him say it- just cause I feel it and it comes out. I guess I figure all people are like that- but duh- I know they aren't. (I think I am more this way after having cancer/death/dying type of thing. I never want someone to not hear me and know it.)

 

I also don't really "know" what to do - this is my third relationship in my life and I am in my forties - so sometimes I feel like- what to do?

 

I could try NOT to tell him- which would be kind of hard for me- but I guess I'd have to say it in my mind.

 

I do SHOW him all the time too. And yes- he knows I am a word person and my health things and why I am the way I am...

[2sunny]

Since HE is completely different than what YOU need... And he may not be capable of expressing himself the way YOU need him to - it may be best to consider other men to date. You will never be ABLE to FORCE YOUR WAY onto someone else - without a ton of resistance. It can be exhausting and creates resentments.

 

If nothing else - read the five love languages... It will explain things more clearly.