tennisball Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 basically lt relationship of 6 yrs, had an argument recently which has caused me to rethink everything. Argument was because i went out for drinks with work colleagues but i didn't answer phone. Argument went from him asking me if i was lesbian, to him saying he loved me and has plans and he wants me to have his kids. I am guilty of not giving much sex in the relationship, to the point where i feel there is something wrong with me in that department, but over the last year my health has improved and i feel much better, but my partner doesnt seem to care about his own health, he has put on some weight, and started smoking again after quitting for a year. But after the argument I was looking at my life and i'm thinking - i'm with someone in his mid thirties, and i will be thirty in a few yrs, and we dont even have our own place -we are renting rooms in a shared house, he has only managed to get debt under control finally after it got so much he had to go on a debt management plan, and i am in the same boat with the debt, but not because i have a car or nice things like a flat screen tv, but because i was trying to help him out all the times (over a year) he was out of work. im just not sure we're heading both in the same direction. he says he "has plans" but considering he asked me to marry him a few months after we met and has never got around to buying a ring (he did have a well paid job at one point) im not sure if the "plans" will ever come to anything. i really dont feel like there will be much of a future, unless i am doing all the planning and saving for everything. i feel guilty for wanting to break up, because i know he does love me, and he does try to do the right thing. i feel guilty i no longer find him attractive, but he is a good person at heart, why cant i just look past the outside like everyone else seems to be able to ? . im not a happy bunny right now. i feel like if i leave him i will never find anyone again. i dont know if i can believe in longterm relationships. and i feel like im a shallow person for not finding him attractive. anyone else been in the same boat ? what did you do ?
norajane Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 You have a long list of reasons why you don't want to be with him. There is nothing wrong in breaking up with someone if you don't see things working out between you. That's what dating is for - to figure out if you would be good together long term. Seems like this isn't working for you and isn't what you want long term. Yes, you'll feel guilty and sad about breaking up, but both of you will be better off in the long run if you don't feel right about being with him.
flitzanu Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 what norajane said. if you don't want to be with him, cut the cord and quit dragging it out. also don't lie about reasons why you're leaving.
CaliBabe Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Leave him, your unhappy and might be tempted to cheat which is even worse. Cut your losses now and start the healing process for you both.
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