Sugarkane Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 After reading people's stories of their exes getting GIGS after a long term relationship, I find it difficult to feel empathy. Maybe if these GIGS dumpers date around for a while and get screwed over like the rest of us, they might see how good they had it? I just find it hard to feel sorry for them when finding a great guy is hard to find in this day and age. Especially someone that won't cheat and/ hump and dump you.
Follower Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Well great guys are easy to find, you ladies just refuse to acknowledge us when we come a knocking.. 2
Reddice Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 The really great guys are the first, and only ones, to be friendzoned. They lack the excitement and attractiveness that women are looking for. It is the great women that are really hard to find. Most of them are already taken or dating these cheating, abusive jerks.
flitzanu Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 The really great guys are the first, and only ones, to be friendzoned. They lack the excitement and attractiveness that women are looking for. It is the great women that are really hard to find. Most of them are already taken or dating these cheating, abusive jerks. hah. living proof of it. i'm not perfectly amazing, but i certainly have enough hot female bff's to prove this point made by Reddice.
Phanpooh Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 The fact about suck thing: GIGS What is GIGS? It's a passion, some feeling lack of your life. You feel emptiness inside, your heart, mind, body let you know that you aren't complete, but you will want to be better. You feel like your life is having a bigger meaning and there is something important waiting for you, then day by day, you are stress and then just want to burn out, want to run away that "something's missing" feeling. GIGS depend on how the way you grew up, family's treatment, childhood and culture. it could be in every age, when you are young, it called stupid and immature, today, in reality, you should meet some Teen yell about "YOLO" and do stupid things. Then if it about relationship and special at here, LS, we call it GIGS. or some name but in fact, that is the same We also have 2 kinds of people: Category one: You have a wonderful husband/wife, bf/gf, family, or children. have a good job, and everything is very good, just "perfect" Category two: you dun have relationship, life, friend, family right for you and you think you deserve more. by the time, you become more serious in your denial of your situation. However, when it start, you spend your time thought the motions, feel disconnecting with your life and lack of security, you even lost yourself in limo, where is emptiness You will do just about anything to kill or bury that lingering pain... The feeling that something is missing screams for your attention. The way you deal with it is to run away from it. You seek out relationships, things and experiences, which give you only temporary relief. Then you run again, looking for the next distraction. Only to find that it too was empty. You don't stop running until one day you finally hit the wall... you ve been looking for everywhere except the one place give you your answer: in yourself You feel that you are an observer rather than a participant in your life. When you're disconnected from your true self, you are going to feel as if something is missing because you are missing something... YOU!...And the passion that naturally comes with being your genuine self. PS: it's GIGS and stop blaming about them, if you want more info, i will write it later when i have time ( not in my vacation )
wilsonx Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) Hi pot, Im kettle. Echante. Time to look in a mirror Miss Guy wont date me because he's 10 years older then me. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/329807-10-year-age-difference-really-deal-breaker You are going through the same motions as your ex Edited June 21, 2012 by wilsonx
flitzanu Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Hi pot, Im kettle. Echante. Time to look in a mirror Miss Guy wont date me because he's 10 years older then me. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/329807-10-year-age-difference-really-deal-breaker You are going through the same motions as your ex wilson, i love you. #bromance
olddirtyspatula Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Well great guys are easy to find, you ladies just refuse to acknowledge us when we come a knocking.. The really great guys are the first, and only ones, to be friendzoned. They lack the excitement and attractiveness that women are looking for. It is the great women that are really hard to find. Most of them are already taken or dating these cheating, abusive jerks. hah. living proof of it. i'm not perfectly amazing, but i certainly have enough hot female bff's to prove this point made by Reddice. Yeah, yeah yeah. how many chubby or unfeminine or unmakeup wearing non hot female BFFs do you have and how many of them are you in love with? It's the same on both sides. One of the most beguilingly wise advice I ever got from a good friend of mine is, "You should only go out with someone if you get absolutely palpitatingly breathless at the thought of putting your face in their genitals. Anything less is fooling yourself and wasting everyone's time." The trick is to realize that there's not always a direct correlation between how people look and how much fun they are to be with. Or if there is, it may not be in the direction you want... 2
CopingGal Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Well great guys are easy to find, you ladies just refuse to acknowledge us when we come a knocking.. I don't agree. In my experience great guys are really, really hard to find and if one came knocking at my door, I would let him in.
Gulf-Delta Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 GiGs people tend to be immature and aren't ready for serious relationships. Even if they're in love with someone, their immaturity keeps them from prioritizing the importance of a real loving relationship. 3
Author Sugarkane Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 Hi pot, Im kettle. Echante. Time to look in a mirror Miss Guy wont date me because he's 10 years older then me. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/329807-10-year-age-difference-really-deal-breaker You are going through the same motions as your ex How is that anything a like? I got rejected by someone. So what? I didn't throw a good relationship away for no reason though.
Follower Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 One of the most beguilingly wise advice I ever got from a good friend of mine is, "You should only go out with someone if you get absolutely palpitatingly breathless at the thought of putting your face in their genitals. Anything less is fooling yourself and wasting everyone's time." Now Hold on a second you have changed the premise of my response... I stated great guys are not hard to find, i didnt state that great guys you are willing to date are easy to find.. But on a side note, loving the quote
USMCHokie Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 The really great guys are the first, and only ones, to be friendzoned. "Great" to whom...? They lack the excitement and attractiveness that women are looking for. When have boring and unattractive ever been qualities of greatness...? 1
Reddice Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 (edited) Yeah, yeah yeah. how many chubby or unfeminine or unmakeup wearing non hot female BFFs do you have and how many of them are you in love with? It's the same on both sides. Are you serious? Do you think all men go around dating models? My ex wasn't all that hot as you make it out to be. She was quite normal looking. When we first started dating, I didn't think she was that pretty in fact, but I gave it a shot. Yet, I fell in love for who she was and not for what she looked like. To me, she became the prettiest girl in the world. And yes, I have dated chubby girls in the past as well. "Great" to whom...? Great in general. For example: I have a friend who's 24 years old, never had a girlfriend, never gotten laid, hell... never even kissed a girl. Women don't find him ugly, boring or anything like that. He's just the type of guy who gets friendzoned almost immediately. We all know someone who is or was once like that. When have boring and unattractive ever been qualities of greatness...? Ever heard of Bill Gates? If you haven't, let me explain. He's one of the richest men in the world, hence his greatness. Yet, he's not that exciting or attractive. I wonder if he would have ever even found a partner if it wasn't for his big, fat bank account. Edited June 22, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator civility and respect
olddirtyspatula Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Are you serious? Do you think all men go around dating models? My ex wasn't all that hot as you make it out to be. She was quite normal looking. When we first started dating, I didn't think she was that pretty in fact, but I gave it a shot. Yet, I fell in love for who she was and not for what she looked like. To me, she became the prettiest girl in the world. And yes, I have dated chubby girls in the past as well. I never said all men only date models. I just think most of the time when I hear people obsess over the type of people that don't go for them, they need to recalibrate their search instead of get down on themselves or hate the people that rejected them. "nice guys" get obsessed over the cute girl that won't give them the time of day without observing the sweet plain jane that has a heart more gilded than the sheltered princess that doesn't realize how self absorbed she is because everyone's always made her life easy for her... Don't think of it like "lowering your standards". Usually less attractive people have a much higher degree of complexity to them than people whose image is central to their identity, or people who have never had to struggle for anything (ie exceptionally beautiful people). It's not lowering your standards at all. It's learning to search for something different and enhancing your rewards instead of dwelling on your repeated failures, letting your hurt turn to bitterness. If you think you're lowering your standards to be with someone you're not going to give them proper credit for who they are, which as someone else said, the fastest way to GIGS. My friend never said it had to be a model's genitals you were breathlessly excited about shoving your face into... all cats are grey in the dark anyway. Anyway, it sounds like you've already learned the point I was trying to make. I'm just throwing words into the abyss in case anyone who hasn't learned it yet catches on.
USMCHokie Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Great in general. For example: I have a friend who's 24 years old, never had a girlfriend, never gotten laid, hell... never even kissed a girl. Women don't find him ugly, boring or anything like that. He's just the type of guy who gets friendzoned almost immediately. The reason I asked is because "greatness" is incredibly subjective and will vary from person to person. If someone was truly "great in general," then most women would also believe he was great and the only issue he'd have was to avoid the few outliers who didn't recognize his greatness. In my opinion, the attitude that "oh, I'm a great guy but women won't date me, so it must be their fault!" is one used to escape accountability and play the victim. We all know someone who is or was once like that. Yes. Me. 1
Reddice Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 I never said all men only date models. I just think most of the time when I hear people obsess over the type of people that don't go for them, they need to recalibrate their search instead of get down on themselves or hate the people that rejected them. "nice guys" get obsessed over the cute girl that won't give them the time of day without observing the sweet plain jane that has a heart more gilded than the sheltered princess that doesn't realize how self absorbed she is because everyone's always made her life easy for her... Not to be rude or anything, but didn't you admit in a previous thread you were incredibly self absorbed, selfish, etc etc etc? Didn't you admit leaving your long term boyfriend for some random douchebag? I'm confused. Do you now see yourself as the sweet, plain Jane or as the sheltered princess? Because in your previous posts you considered yourself to be the latter. Anyway, it sounds like you've already learned the point I was trying to make. I'm just throwing words into the abyss in case anyone who hasn't learned it yet catches on. And again you show up with this bizarre feeling of entitlement. Great advice from someone whose actions don't match her words. You know what they say... You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? The reason I asked is because "greatness" is incredibly subjective and will vary from person to person. If someone was truly "great in general," then most women would also believe he was great and the only issue he'd have was to avoid the few outliers who didn't recognize his greatness. I disagree with you here. Let me illustrate this with another example: So on the other side of the spectre I have another friend. This friend is the total opposite of the previous one. He's dynamite with women. Every time he walks into a bar, women walk up to him. And I'm not exaggerating here, it's really that bad. Now, this friend has had only 1 GF ever... he never needed another one, nor desired one. Yet, he gets laid every weekend. He goes on holiday to the other side of the world without even making hotel reservations. He finds a warm bed the very first day. Now, I've known him for 10 years now, and I love this guy to death as well. But he's not relationship material. And still... women all over the world go nuts over him. Single women, married women and everything in between. Female friends of mine even went crazy over him and some of them were in relationships. Some women even get completely obsessed over him. He never lies about what he's looking for. All of these women know he's not going to settle down, but strangely enough they all seem shocked when they realize he can't be tamed. And then of course we get the all too familiar phrase: "All men are bastards". So when I point out that there is another 24 year old guy (the previous one) who would make a far better partner, the only reply is: "Yeah, he's a great guy, but I'm just not attracted to him." Which brings me back to my point... great guys are the first, and only ones, to be friendzoned. Or at least, great guys relationshipwise. In my opinion, the attitude that "oh, I'm a great guy but women won't date me, so it must be their fault!" is one used to escape accountability and play the victim. I agree, anyone who thinks like that is putting himself in a victim role. But so is everyone who thinks "Oh, I'm a great guy but women won't date me, so it's my fault!". That's a self defeatist attitude, which will get you nowhere. 1
olddirtyspatula Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 (edited) Not to be rude or anything, but didn't you admit in a previous thread you were incredibly self absorbed, selfish, etc etc etc? Didn't you admit leaving your long term boyfriend for some random douchebag? I'm confused. Do you now see yourself as the sweet, plain Jane or as the sheltered princess? Because in your previous posts you considered yourself to be the latter. And again you show up with this bizarre feeling of entitlement. Great advice from someone whose actions don't match her words. You know what they say... You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? You're making assumptions. I never called myself a plane jane and I certainly wouldn't describe my heart as gilded. I was in fact half (only half-- I'm not actually all that attractive) talking about myself in the latter example and not at all in the former. I think your dislike for me is making you assume I'm saying things that I'm not, but I never implied I was talking about myself so there are no inconsistencies here. Also you're misapplying the word "entitlement". If I feel entitled it means I think I deserve something, but what you meant to tell me is that I'm self important, or self aggrandizing because I think my opinion is more important than it is, which is true. But entitlement is different. That's how I used to be and I'm trying to work on that but success or failure, my thinking my opinions are awesome neither confirms nor denies that. The only way I'd by hypocritical in this scenario, showing a failure to "walk the walk" is if I only dated attractive men, but that's not the case either. You're assuming that just because I've made some giant mistakes I have nothing valid to say, which is a huge fallacy. But, you know, I guess you can keep looking for heroes that have never made any mistakes in their lives and ignore everything everyone else says on the basis of their non-sequitor life events. Good luck with that search. Edited June 23, 2012 by olddirtyspatula
flitzanu Posted June 25, 2012 Posted June 25, 2012 Yeah, yeah yeah. how many chubby or unfeminine or unmakeup wearing non hot female BFFs do you have and how many of them are you in love with? It's the same on both sides. One of the most beguilingly wise advice I ever got from a good friend of mine is, "You should only go out with someone if you get absolutely palpitatingly breathless at the thought of putting your face in their genitals. Anything less is fooling yourself and wasting everyone's time." The trick is to realize that there's not always a direct correlation between how people look and how much fun they are to be with. Or if there is, it may not be in the direction you want... i don't even know what you're trying to say about non-hot bffs. are you trying to say ugly girls are bffs with hot guys or hot girls are bffs with ugly guys?
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