Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 When people message me on POF i always check their pics first and more often than not i don't bother replying because i don't find them attractive. A couple of days ago there was a guy who lives right where i am and i wouldnt say he is ugly but i dont think he is my type either. I have been talking to him and he asked if we could meet up tonight I don't know if i should. Im afraid i will see him and not want to hang out and things will get awkward. Am i being shallow? I know personality matters but if i don't find a person attractive then i feel im not really interested in their personality?!
xdxb Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Yes. You are, but it's okay because I'm like that too. It's good to be picky sometimes..however you can also try giving an average looking guy a chance, who knows he might just sweep you off your feet!
Leigh 87 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Yes, your shallow. Do you honestly not want to bother with people in genergly" , if their ugly? ... What if he is a great person to be around? Fun? A person you can call up and have a drink with, or do whatever it is ou enjoy doing with people............. Or, do you have enough friends already, and are not open to making new, ugly" male friends? Luckily, I am very social and friendly, and I really enjoy making new friends. I would never refuse to meet up with a guy I thought to be ugly, if I made it clear I just wanted to meet friends ( I would lie and say I had a partner), and if he was also a social person who was interested in meeting new friends, and he seamed legit ( some men DO like to make new female friends!) then I would meet him and hope we got along well, and that he was a friend I could keep. What is the rush to meet the right guy? Why not make friends too? I get that you might not want to meet him at all - if he is only interested in hooking up, or in an actual relationship. He probably would not date you - guys do not like shallow girls. The decent ones at least - although if u meet a guy that is decent AND good looking enough, he may overlook your flaw; we all have faults, and I have a boyfriend who overlooks mine and still loves me. Looks matter, but why not just be friends with him? IF you get along, you could introdude one another TO your other single friends...... He does live in our area... If he sounds like a psycho though, of course, RUN!
yongyong Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Don't listen to the person above. If she is dating a nasty looking guy and can prove with a photo, then I will trust her words. I am 100% sure it's not the case. Do whatever you want. you don't want to date an ugly person so that you can prove to the world you are not shallow. Think about this situation. he is banging you and you are just disgusted by his appearance. what would be on your mind? 'I should be happy right now because I am not shallow?' LOL
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Yes, your shallow. Do you honestly not want to bother with people in genergly" , if their ugly? Or, do you have enough friends already, and are not open to making new, ugly" male friends? I never said i don't want to bother with people in general who are ugly..It's not even like im the prettiest but im on POF potentially looking for someone who i would like to be with and if im not attracted to them i just can't seem to find a connection at all. I have pretty friends and ugly friends and i am not a judgemental person at all. If i was out on a Friday night and someone ugly came up to me to talk it isn't like i shove them off because they are ugly because i do actually talk to people and make new friends its just when it comes to looking for a date that i seem to be super picky.
Pyro Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Not shallow. If you have these doubts just based on your conversations with him then why waste his time or yours?
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 No, I don't respond to people on OLD all the time if I don't find their pictures at least a little attractive. I used to write rejection messages but I kept getting hate mail back so I stopped.
veggirl Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Hmm unless you are unattracted to him, I think you should go anyway. Pics can be deceiving and people do look a bit diff from their pic in person.
Leigh 87 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Apologies - I have thought about what I said more, and I went a bit overboard. I understand what you mean - you just cannot become easily attracted to a guy who is unnatractive to you. That is fair enough. I thought you came off as shallow, but it is not like your selective with your friends, and it is not like you do not like talking to unnatractive people.
jobaba Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I didn't even read the post, just the title. If you have to ask if you are being shallow about something in dating, some people will think you are, some won't. Make your own decisions instead of following the lemmings.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Shallow? No. Unrealistic standards? Perhaps. You say you find most men who send you messages unattractive, but how good looking are you?
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Shallow? No. Unrealistic standards? Perhaps. You say you find most men who send you messages unattractive, but how good looking are you? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/water-cooler/330909-post-pictures-yourself-thread-17.html 3rd post from the bottom..i never said i was good looking and im not saying im ugly. Each to their own i guess. Maybe i am setting my standards too high..i dont know.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/off-topic/water-cooler/330909-post-pictures-yourself-thread-17.html 3rd post from the bottom..i never said i was good looking and im not saying im ugly. Each to their own i guess. Maybe i am setting my standards too high..i dont know. Those are certainly not the best pictures, but aside from the awful tattoo, you look alright. Out of curiosity, how would rate the three guys you're posing with in the first picture on a 1-10 scale?
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Those are certainly not the best pictures, but aside from the awful tattoo, you look alright. Out of curiosity, how would rate the three guys you're posing with in the first picture on a 1-10 scale? There is nothing wrong with my tattoo Some people like it some dont!! The guy behind me is about a 7 the guy next to him a 5 and the guy next to me a 9 (i don't particulally like him in this pic)
Feelsgoodman Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 There is nothing wrong with my tattoo Some people like it some dont!! The guy behind me is about a 7 the guy next to him a 5 and the guy next to me a 9 (i don't particulally like him in this pic) So if the 7 guy contacted you online, would you respond? What about the 5 guy?
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 So if the 7 guy contacted you online, would you respond? What about the 5 guy? Yeh i would, it isn't like everyone who messages me has to be a 10 for me to respond.
Feelsgoodman Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Yeh i would, it isn't like everyone who messages me has to be a 10 for me to respond. I'm just trying to establish if you have realistic standards. You said that more often than not, you don't bother replying because you don't find the guy attractive. Yet, you also said you would reply to a guy who was a 5. Are you suggesting that most guys that contact you are less than 5 in terms of looks?
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 I'm just trying to establish if you have realistic standards. You said that more often than not, you don't bother replying because you don't find the guy attractive. Yet, you also said you would reply to a guy who was a 5. Are you suggesting that most guys that contact you are less than 5 in terms of looks? yeh, i honestly haven't come across many guys that message me, that are more than a 5 on POF..maybe im just being too picky.
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I can also say that most guys that msg me on OKC are less than 5. The only ones that are more than 5 are after casual sex
Cracker Jack Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I wouldn't say you're shallow. Also, are there certain traits you look for in a guy? How many guys are messaging you online?
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 I wouldn't say you're shallow. Also, are there certain traits you look for in a guy? How many guys are messaging you online? Yep there are, I deff look or sporty guys. Maybe because i like to keep fit myself? Oh and they deff have to be tall. Id say 3-5 guys a day maybe.
FitChick Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Squishy: Depends how desperate you are for a date.
Author Squishy_Belle Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Squishy: Depends how desperate you are for a date. Im in no rush, i wouldnt mind a date but im enjoying being single too.
Content Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I wouldnt date somebody im not attracted to i dont think anyone should its not fair to yourself or the other person really.. But this is also why i avoid old..unless you're pretty good looking and somewhat tall[im neither] its pretty hard to get anywhere as a guy..
MrCastle Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Oh and they deff have to be tall. I think this is where the lines between shallow and picky start to get blurred. We all have physical preferences and that's fine, but why does he *have* to be tall? You're limiting your market now to a specific height range. Makes your goal of finding the right match for you a little harder.
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