livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 We broke up on impulse during a fight, it was a stupid fight and the whole thing has been blown out of proportion. For two weeks since the break up i've sat at home, haven't gone out, nothing. He has had friends over at his house and I haven't gotten upset. When I go out on the lake today with literally two guys and four girls he gets so pissed off at me, he even is fraternity brothers with the guys, they invited me out. We were supposed to go on a trip to FLorida this saturday and he just bailed because he says that we arent ready for it and that im not showing him how I feel? I have though, i've written him a 5 page note on how i felt and I constantly tell him. I told him if he doesn't go on this trip then I'm going to end things because I just feel liek it will be good for us and it can really fix us and we can be ourselves. He claimed that he still wasnt going to go because he didnt want it to completely ruin the relationship, so I ended it saying I was sorry he thought I didnt care, that I really really cared about him and i hated that I have to do this and I wished he would just go on the trip with me.. I know what you all are thinking, THIS IS SO STUPID!! basically, now he wont answer my texts because he responded and he told me I didnt understand his point of view, and I asked him to tell me and now he isn't responding. He kept saying it upset him that I thought he wasnt trying and it was like he always was trying to stop me from ending it tonight by adding more things to the conversation. I know he cares, I know he does. Please, Loveshack, pleaseeee give me your advice. I want him back so bad, I don't want to lose him, I don't know what to do if he isn't answering my messages and ignoring me.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 What was the impulse fight about and why was it blown out of proportion.
Author livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 He didn't receive a text of mine asking to hang out that night, so I didn't get a response, see he is with two girls and his roommate( sorority little sisters) (it's a stupid thing but no girls to worry about) so I decide to go to an employee party. Text him because I was uncomfortable and asked him if he could pick me up, he got pissed said I was being sketchy and that he had been drinking so he couldn't come pick me up. I said once I get a ride I wanted to come over there to talk to him and he said no, that I wasn't welcome, he didnt want to talk to me at the moment, so I ended it right there on the phone. Then i realized what I had said, got a ride back, rushed over there literally 20 minutes after the phone call, at this point he had drank a lot and he said it had upset him, i've never seen the kid cry like this. But I told him that I didn't mean it and I was sorry, he was in the street screaming don't touch me, you need ot leave before I call the cops. so I mumbled fine were done, and get in my car. then I said no no i didnt mean that and tried talking to him. Says we will talk about it in the morning. Next morning: he says he needs space and then ends it online and doesnt talk to me, but now its where we are at. We have slept in the same bed once since, but its all a mess of us both caring for eachother but not doing anything.
Author livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 What was the impulse fight about and why was it blown out of proportion. It's been blown out of proportion because we both care for eachother obviously. When we hung out it was like we were back together. He is just jealous and being stubborn.
skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 He didn't receive a text of mine asking to hang out that night, so I didn't get a response, see he is with two girls and his roommate( sorority little sisters) (it's a stupid thing but no girls to worry about) so I decide to go to an employee party. Text him because I was uncomfortable and asked him if he could pick me up, he got pissed said I was being sketchy and that he had been drinking so he couldn't come pick me up. I said once I get a ride I wanted to come over there to talk to him and he said no, that I wasn't welcome, he didnt want to talk to me at the moment, so I ended it right there on the phone. Then i realized what I had said, got a ride back, rushed over there literally 20 minutes after the phone call, at this point he had drank a lot and he said it had upset him, i've never seen the kid cry like this. But I told him that I didn't mean it and I was sorry, he was in the street screaming don't touch me, you need ot leave before I call the cops. so I mumbled fine were done, and get in my car. then I said no no i didnt mean that and tried talking to him. Says we will talk about it in the morning. Next morning: he says he needs space and then ends it online and doesnt talk to me, but now its where we are at. We have slept in the same bed once since, but its all a mess of us both caring for eachother but not doing anything. sweetie.. i think ur making excuses for him. The fact that your bf got upset because you wanted to hang out with him already explains how he feels. You said he's hanging out with his little sisters from his frat, I think maybe he wants to see what else may be out there. When a guy tells you STRAIGHT TO YOUR FACE that he wants space, then you need to understand and realize, he wants space. Let him go, initiate NC and please respect yourself- do not let ANY MAN treat you this way.
Author livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 sweetie.. i think ur making excuses for him. The fact that your bf got upset because you wanted to hang out with him already explains how he feels. You said he's hanging out with his little sisters from his frat, I think maybe he wants to see what else may be out there. When a guy tells you STRAIGHT TO YOUR FACE that he wants space, then you need to understand and realize, he wants space. Let him go, initiate NC and please respect yourself- do not let ANY MAN treat you this way. he didnt tell me straight to my face, and I gave him that space. He gets upset when I don't text him saying he tried. He also told me straight to my face that he wanted this to work.
Author livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 he also told me tonight that he knows what he wants, but that it seems like I am constantly on the border of wanting this to work vs having freedom, which isnt true. I want this more than anything.
Ruby65 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 (edited) I would calmly tell him that you want things to work out between you, but that he's asked for space and you're going to respect that by giving him space. Let him know that if he wants to talk to you, you'll be there to talk when he's ready, but that he has to initiate it because you're going to give him the space he asked for. Then, do it! No calls. No texts. No emails. No just happening to show up where you know he might be..... in fact, avoid places you think he might be. Give him time and space to himself. Come here and post on this site every time you want to contact him. Let him figure this out. If he comes back to you, all will be well between you. If he doesn't, its time for you to move on. Everyone here will support you through this. YOU are going to be fine, either way! Edited June 21, 2012 by Ruby65
Eddie Edirol Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 You told him that its over twice in one night. Thats pretty immature of you. If he got mad at you for not texting him, then you mustve done something before that to make him think you are being sketchy.
Author livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 I would calmly tell him that you want things to work out between you, but that he's asked for space and you're going to respect that by giving him space. Let him know that if he wants to talk to you, you'll be there to talk when he's ready, but that he has to initiate it because you're going to give him the space he asked for. Then, do it! No calls. No texts. No emails. No just happening to show up where you know he might be..... in fact, avoid places you think he might be. Give him time and space to himself. Come here and post on this site every time you want to contact him. Let him figure this out. If he comes back to you, all will be well between you. If he doesn't, its time for you to move on. Everyone here will support you through this. YOU are going to be fine, either way! We have been past the point of giving eachother space, and now we are trying to work together to get this relationship work, so we have to start spending time together.
Author livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 You told him that its over twice in one night. Thats pretty immature of you. If he got mad at you for not texting him, then you mustve done something before that to make him think you are being sketchy. It made him mad because in his eyes I was at a party rather than spending time with him.
Ruby65 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I'm confused; in your original post you said you had broken up and that he said he needed space. Have you gotten back together? I'm not sure what exactly you're asking for advice about.
Author livelife Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 I'm confused; in your original post you said you had broken up and that he said he needed space. Have you gotten back together? I'm not sure what exactly you're asking for advice about. No we haven't officially gotten back together, but we both have agreed to work on it to get back together eventually. I'm asking advice for what exactly can I do, when I hang out with friends, including guys, he gets mad at me, yet when he hangs out with girls I don't get mad because I trust him. What i'm asking for is 1. do I initiate contact sometimes? 2. do I ask him to hang out sometimes? 3. When we hang out, do I act like we are together again? or do I act casual like we are just friends.
Ruby65 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 No we haven't officially gotten back together, but we both have agreed to work on it to get back together eventually. I'm asking advice for what exactly can I do, when I hang out with friends, including guys, he gets mad at me, yet when he hangs out with girls I don't get mad because I trust him. What i'm asking for is 1. do I initiate contact sometimes? 2. do I ask him to hang out sometimes? 3. When we hang out, do I act like we are together again? or do I act casual like we are just friends. It's hard to give opinions on these questions because your relationship seems pretty undefined at this point. I would let him initiate all contact for now. When you do hang out together, I'd follow his lead and behave accordingly. Just remember: NO situation is ever made worse by giving it some space. Sometimes when you feel most desperate and like holding on the tightest.... is exactly the time to let go. Just saying.
skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Sometimes when you feel most desperate and like holding on the tightest.... is exactly the time to let go. Just saying. i too, am confused about what exactly it is that you're asking, but I agree with Ruby in that you need to let him initiate contact. He has asked for space and you need to wait and let him come to you.
Author livelife Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 i too, am confused about what exactly it is that you're asking, but I agree with Ruby in that you need to let him initiate contact. He has asked for space and you need to wait and let him come to you. Still? Even though he said he wants to work on it? Okay:)
skyisfalling Posted June 22, 2012 Posted June 22, 2012 Still? Even though he said he wants to work on it? Okay:) OK, so you guys got into a fight, you love him, you say he loves you and wants to work on it. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THEN
Author livelife Posted June 22, 2012 Author Posted June 22, 2012 OK, so you guys got into a fight, you love him, you say he loves you and wants to work on it. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM THEN that he wants to work on it but we don't talk too much and we don't hang out...? Every time I ask him to hang out he comes up with something.
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