Catherine76 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Hello - Looking for some feedback and input if anyone has any. I ended a 4.5 year on and off again relationship with someone I really loved but who angered me greatly with his narcissism and lack of communication skills. I saw him as manipulative and unkind in the end. I told him I was done and exactly all the awful things I thought of him after he dumped me for the third time but was still calling me every day acting like things were all good. It was just too much to take. That was 5.5 months ago and I got to date someone after him who I had been friends with for a year who turned out to be a real borderline/narcissist and a womanizing sex addict as well. So it made the ex look like a saint in some ways. I at least cared very much for my ex and he was very loving to me at times, but I was always so conflicted about him that I did enough on my own to probably illicit his actions too. But mostly, I felt strung along and that is what hurt me so much. All the time he wasted of mine. No matter how good I would have been, it never would have progressed. My issue is that I have since been in a horrible depression, which I believe was brought on by this final breakup. I thought we might at least be friends and now that is gone. It has also created a rift for me socially in ways I had not thought of. We are part of the same community and everyone does a lot to try and be spiritual and civil to one another and I acted very uncivil in the end. What I am getting at is that I want to send him a few media items he had lent me and which I never returned. I want to just send a note that says, Hope you are well - and that's all. I want to let him know I don't hate him, nothing is forever, and so that things will not be really rough if and when we do run into one another or if he is talking badly about me to others. I do not expect a reply due to his ego and he is probably still mad I said all that to him - and I told him not to contact me. But I just want to do this one little thing to ease my conscience. I also am entering a period of my life where I believe I am becoming more aware of the power of love over ego and I want to just effect a little healing there. Does this see like a worthwhile thing to do? I'm still on the fence. The part of me that feels unconditional love wants to make a subtle repair for my end of things and the other part of me fears opening myself up to more hurt or rejection. Thanks, Catherine
Author Catherine76 Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 p.s. He only dumped me twice and I think it was because figured he was going to get dumped. The first time was my choice. Just wanted to add that correction.
Twins Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 I'm confused. You did the dumping and said NC and then you say you don't want to feel rejected but you don't expect a response?? Unconditional love is not doing something for you to ease your pain when in fact you may be making things more painful for him since you broke it off. Also, you are making assumptions of how he feels right now. How do you know he is still mad at you?
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