ihateslowjams Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Tonight, I'm feeling miserable. I can't stop thinking about my BU (together for 3 1/2 years) that happened just 2 weeks ago... I know that my current status in life and how i live at home was a huge factor in the break up. Why couldn't i have been in a better situation in life? Im beating myself up for not doing anything for the past 7 years to improve my life. I hate this. Why was i so lazy? My ex was an amazing gf. i knew how important a college degree was to her and how she wanted me to live on my own, but i half-Arsed my attempt. i had plenty of chances to do something about it before, but why didn't i do it until now (post BU)? Out of all the reason to break up with me for, that right there is what really hurts. All i want to do is reach out to her, but i know thats the worst idea ever. I can't believe i lost her because of my laziness. I'm soo stupid...
Catherine76 Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Oh, dear. I have to forgive myself for not trying harder on a lot of things, but you know what? it is what it is and we were where we were at - and maybe for a reason. The best thing you do is forgive yourself and improve your life for you and no one else. See what you can learn from the experience as that is what these things are for - to show us who we really are and learn and grow from our challenges.
skyisfalling Posted June 21, 2012 Posted June 21, 2012 Tonight, I'm feeling miserable. I can't stop thinking about my BU (together for 3 1/2 years) that happened just 2 weeks ago... I know that my current status in life and how i live at home was a huge factor in the break up. Why couldn't i have been in a better situation in life? Im beating myself up for not doing anything for the past 7 years to improve my life. I hate this. Why was i so lazy? My ex was an amazing gf. i knew how important a college degree was to her and how she wanted me to live on my own, but i half-Arsed my attempt. i had plenty of chances to do something about it before, but why didn't i do it until now (post BU)? Out of all the reason to break up with me for, that right there is what really hurts. All i want to do is reach out to her, but i know thats the worst idea ever. I can't believe i lost her because of my laziness. I'm soo stupid... I'm sorry you're agonizing over your ex. I think we're all going through that phase, asking ourselves, WHY DIDN'T WE DO THIS... WHY DIDN'T WE DO THAT? But the fact is, we didnt and the break up still happened. I'm going to take a stab at this and say that I think you may be putting your ex on a pedastal because if a relationship were really all that great it wouldn't have been broken. The important thing I think is to realize that THROUGH THIS BREAK UP as hurtful and painful as it is, it caused you to realize the changes you need to make on your life and now you can use this opportunity to do so. Yes, it sucks that this break up was what made you open your eyes but maybe it happened for this reason. Now that you know what you need to do, please use this time to do what you haven't done when you were in the relationship. Hang in there, and try not to dwell onto the past. You guys are broken up and its time to move on.. 1
Author ihateslowjams Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 yeah, thanks for the responses guys. Its just really hard to focus at whatever i need to do. I just can't enjoy the moment, which is really affecting me. I know its over and Im trying to let go and i desperately want to let go, but my mind just won't stop. I wish i could just snap out of it. I hate how only time is the medicine to become "healthy" again.
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