ladyabstrused Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Having a real tough time here... I'm currently writing a letter to her just to get out what I am feeling (no intention of actually giving it to her). It seems to be helping. I was reading through your thread and I've got to agree with most of the other posters here. Keep NC. It's rather tempting to write to an ex about how you feel, I keep wanting to but good people on the forum and around me keep reminding me that it will be of no use and that it would only make me feel worse. They were right because several times in the initial stage of NC, I broke it and it only left me feeling more depressed. It'll get easier each day that passes. Keep on NC and I hope things will get better for you. Really sorry to hear about your situation though. Things will be okay, just hang in there.
Author BB7 Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 I was just at the local shopping center with my sister and almost bumped into her, thank god I went into another shop whilst my sister went into a different one. My sis walked straight past her, I would have freaked! A **** reminder that she's still out there.
ladyabstrused Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 I was just at the local shopping center with my sister and almost bumped into her, thank god I went into another shop whilst my sister went into a different one. My sis walked straight past her, I would have freaked! A **** reminder that she's still out there. Ah, what luck. :\ Hope you're dealing with it okay. Would be awkward to actually really bump into her.
Author BB7 Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Ah, what luck. :\ Hope you're dealing with it okay. Would be awkward to actually really bump into her. Super lucky that I didn't actually walk past her because I seriously wouldn't have known what to do. The funny thing is that I actually discussed what I would do of I saw her and I pretty much just said that I would smile and say hi and keeping moving but reality may have seen the total opposite! I probably just would have run in the opposite direction lol. When I walked out of the shop with my sis I looked up and saw her...my sis was like how the hell did you spot that. It just makes me sad, a reminder I didn't really need. Thanks for the kind words, I appreciate it.
ladyabstrused Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Yeah it's usually different when you're actually facing the situation first-hand. Not particularly easy most of the times. I'm sorry you were reminded in that manner, considering you've started keeping NC. Really hope that doesn't happen again. Keep going, it'll get better, BB7.
Author BB7 Posted June 23, 2012 Author Posted June 23, 2012 Thanks, they are just the words I need. It's amazing the ups and downs you go through, I am actually smiling right now.
ladyabstrused Posted June 23, 2012 Posted June 23, 2012 Thanks, they are just the words I need. It's amazing the ups and downs you go through, I am actually smiling right now. :) (All I wanted to do was give you smileys lol but it's too short a message so there.)
justified3474 Posted June 27, 2012 Posted June 27, 2012 i'm reading your story OP and i'm sorry you are going through a hard time. i hope you are doing better. i'm going through a really tough breakup myself...i feel helpless/loss of control in not knowing the future, if we will get back together like i want, etc. i keep thinking about all the mistakes i made and what could've turned out different... the thing that is keeping me feeling better is LS and just truly believing that Everything Happens For a Reason, something that i have always believed in but have lost touch with since this breakup...the world has a way of making things turn out for the best, as long as you make the right choices, listen to your heart, and don't force/try to control situations and other people's feelings or actions. in your case, she may have seemed indifferent when you told her you wouldnt be speaking to her because for the past 3 months of your relationship maybe she was already accepting that it was over, whereas you are just starting to. which stinks, but always try to look at the positives: no matter how much you wish you could be together or have a 2nd chance, it is Much better that it is ending now on a relatively good note, rather than dragging out/forcing a relationship that just wasn't destined to be. it is how she feels and as hurtful as it will be to accept, you just have to :/. i think it is Very very possible to have a healthy, long term, happy relationship where 2 people love each other dearly, but just arent meant to be together for life. also, i'm sorry you feel like you didn't say exactly what you wanted to say in the right words; i know the feeling! if it is really going to eat away at you then I would send that letter (carefully thought out). in my case, i will be meeting with my bf/exbf soon because I have already told him where I stand (i want to stay together/make things work) so he can tell me his decision...if he says no, i have already written a letter i'm going to give him that says how i respect his decision, i will always love him, he will always have a place in my heart, and in the future if he wants to get back together my heart will hopefully still be there for him. i said i am thankful for having had him in my life, because he was such a positive impact and was my best friend for so long and made me happy. like you, i tend to mess up my words in person loll.
Author BB7 Posted January 12, 2014 Author Posted January 12, 2014 (edited) Hi guys, just wanted to check in because it's been a long time! I wanted to say to the people who are really struggling, that there is hope and you will come out the other side of a break up feeling great. I barely see my ex, I think of her fondly but I have no feelings whatsoever for her and it's great to feel that way. I have been in 1 short relationship since and mainly just enjoying being single! In all honesty, this break up was the best thing that could have happened. I've learnt so much about myself and what I want out of life, it's been the making of me. So keep the faith people and stick with NC because to me, that is the absolute key. Delete their number, Facebook or any other way of contacting them. Trust me it works a treat! I also wanted to thank everybody who helped me on this forum, I am so grateful for the kind words and advice. You were all extremely helpful and the support got me through a tough time. Thank you all! Edited January 12, 2014 by BB7 2
mano Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 I just went through your whole thread. And i am reay glad to hear that you are doing fine now. Time helps alot. Thanks for updating us.
Fufu Posted January 12, 2014 Posted January 12, 2014 Hi guys, just wanted to check in because it's been a long time! I wanted to say to the people who are really struggling, that there is hope and you will come out the other side of a break up feeling great. I barely see my ex, I think of her fondly but I have no feelings whatsoever for her and it's great to feel that way. I have been in 1 short relationship since and mainly just enjoying being single! In all honesty, this break up was the best thing that could have happened. I've learnt so much about myself and what I want out of life, it's been the making of me. So keep the faith people and stick with NC because to me, that is the absolute key. Delete their number, Facebook or any other way of contacting them. Trust me it works a treat! I also wanted to thank everybody who helped me on this forum, I am so grateful for the kind words and advice. You were all extremely helpful and the support got me through a tough time. Thank you all! Glad you are doing fine. And I think you handle your break up well.
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